Chronic Pain

3

3 months later, still no cigar

  March 13th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

Excuse this rant. I need it. I am living with a condition that knows no limits. At the start of this year, 2018, I wrote my verdict: I wrote that I am a man, 28 years of age, living with chronic pain. It is now around 3 months till the post, and nothing has changed. I thought I might give it more time but to no avail… I once had a beautiful smile and it got lost after living in the dorms, playing sports, and living life. A bump on my face caused a permanent change to 1 tooth. It spread across my face into …

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2

im trapped

  March 12th, 2018 by thenameisjoy

I’m trapped in this world, I’m trapped in my own mind.
my thoughts are consuming me, the idea of death is consuming me more and more everyday for 2 years.
I’ve been told I’m a burden, a non tolerable friend, lover,& daughter, I’ve been told I’m never good enough, i’ve been asked to kill myself, and I’ve been told im nothing, and I’ve become to believe i actually am.
some people didn’t need to literally say these things to me but their actions spoke for them pretty well.
I just can’t find my purpose, no matter what i do im never good enough, if i cut myself in pieces …

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5

  March 6th, 2018 by Iucy

Sometimes I don’t really want to die. I just want to not exist for a while….

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1

russian election is soon…

  March 6th, 2018 by Uuuggh

Hi, I’m from the shithole that’s mentioned in the title, and our election is near. Every day I’m suffering from anxiety and the thought of Putin becoming our president (dictator) once again… I can’t stand living here, it’s so mentally painful. After the war my family become so poor and I, being not rich nor smart, don’t have any chance to see the civil world, let alone live there. Anyone, set us free from this fucking slavery

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3

Still not dead. Wish I was.

  March 6th, 2018 by johnwhogivesashit

My story has gotten quite a bit worse since last May and my last post. Still on felony probation. I managed to fail upward and drop dirty for weed on another like 5 tests in the last year. Got a PTR for it. Been fighting that since December. The judge was actually a sorta decent human being and told me to stop getting high and he would let me complete my probation. Asking me to stop getting high is like asking me to stop breathing. So I quit weed and started snorting dope. Heroin… I got in a car accident a while back so …

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4

Suicide year 2014

  March 3rd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and kicks, and make hate …

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2

Here I Go Again {push back the pain}

  March 1st, 2018 by lonely2k14

I wake up to aching sound of my phone buzzing beside me. I reach for it in pure emotional agony, immediately pressing snooze. As I try to stir out of my groggy state, my mind is blank, and can only think of my exhausted body. I tried to open my eyes but they felt as if they weighed a ton, I tried to lift my arm but it’d fallen limp at my side; given up, I let myself relax just for one more moment… I’m abruptly woken up by my phone buzzing once more. Here I go again… I go through the same, process of …

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3

WARNING: not coherent

  February 26th, 2018 by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that …

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2

Open to talking venting

  February 24th, 2018 by Talos'Wife

I’m just so so tired really I don’t not want to be alive!  and this month has been so terrible for me really from November to now and on has been a living hell for me…  I just really do not want to be alive right now anymore I’m done but I feel I can’t go just yet I haven’t gave up hope he may be alive and come back and i could be happy… we can talk on here or Kik (AlucardsWaifu) or  email even( I’ll give email only on request)  whatever just feeling like talking with people who know what’s it’s like to …

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1

In need of help :’- |

  February 22nd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is striking me hard.  I’m trying to hold on.

Why couldn’t I tell her what I wanted?

Why couldn’t I get mad at him for kissing my ex?   Why didn’t I succeed at saying what I need and feel when I went through all those horrors.

 

This place is bad for me.  it brings up the memories.   I remember why I quit going with those friends.  This f.. more like fuckers.

 

I’m….Im broken.  I’m broken hearted, broken minded.  I’m missing all the good things at life.

What will be the point at succeeding if I’ll end up friendless?  If I’ll end up alone.  If I’ll fail to …

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2

Need help

  February 22nd, 2018 by Stupid_One

Hi,everyone.I am 17 and i am done with my life.I donno what to do anymore.Sometimes i feel like suicide is the best choice but cause of i am such a big loser i cant do it.I tried once but something went wrong so i am here.I dont wanna be like this please help me!!

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3

Sick day

  February 21st, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.

I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to …

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7

  February 20th, 2018 by Iucy

I feel so useless. I have no purpose. Not sure how much longer I can last.

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7

new here, feeling lost, venting

  February 20th, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot …

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1

School…

  February 19th, 2018 by nonexistingsoul

I’m on my 3rd year in college. Only one more year left… But I’ve been not going to class for about 2 weeks. Going there feels like someone is strangling me and I feel like all of their eyes are looking at me and judging me. I feel like shit. I feel like a trash. I’m useless. Although my parents think I’m going to school, but I don’t and I only go at the place where I dreamed of living by myself. The city that is bright and beautiful at night. The city where full of artist like me are there. The city where I …

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2

Revisiting old traumas

  February 18th, 2018 by ShortOne

i haven’t been on here for a year or so, and iv’e done so good in that amount of time i never wanted to slow down or look back at how i used to feel and cope with my depression. but i have poor stamina, and it’s caught up with me again.

 

I first visited this site in 2016 right after my parents had discovered my self harm and suicidal thoughts. At that time i was being emotionally and sexually abused by one of my closest “friends”, that had began a few years before but it peaked that year. The person who took advantage of me …

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2

Became a psychopath

  February 18th, 2018 by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she …

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1

No more sorrow

  February 18th, 2018 by EternalED

This depression got me weak.

I see no hope.

sun is gone forever.

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3

alone

  February 18th, 2018 by iamdarling

well, the truth is, i’m all alone in this world.

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2

When the Breakdown is Over

  February 17th, 2018 by Iucy

This is one of poems I’ve written: When the breakdown is over
The worst part about a breakdown is when it’s over
For a few minutes that feel like years
You just sit there, with your bloodshot eyes and your tear stained face…
emotionless
Everything around you is quiet
And you’re sad; you’re so so sad
Yet everything is numb
Everything is empty
You look straight ahead into the nothingness that you are
Then… you think back to what happened a few minutes ago
And you wish you could go back in time
Just so that you could comfort your own self
So that you could give yourself a hug, because no one else would
So that you could …

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