Chronic Pain

2

Angry

  July 23rd, 2018 by Sextoyfortheuniverse

This was actually my reply to a comment and I think instead of replying to the person I somehow effectively ranted about my situation and I am too tired to type or think again so I will just paste it here.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and schizophrenia a year back. I was a great student but the indian education system has zero respect for anyone who actually cares about learning so i had to repeat a year and for the past six months i have been getting bullied in college for volunteering to repeat even though I did get the pass marks. My dad [...]
Continue reading...

3

The Solipsist

  July 21st, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Introduction

Here’s a poem I made on Facebook on June 1st, when I really needed to vent. :p
(It’s a bit dark and sadomasochistic, instead of just plain masochistic, I hope that’s okay…)

Not that anyone cares, most people just ghost me…

People usually ignore me or hate me, I’m not sure if anyone is at fault when people leave me or don’t want to talk to me and I’m not sure if I should even care…

I just want to be myself… people are too different from [...]
Continue reading...

1

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

  July 14th, 2018 by Baked13

Rehearse. Isolate. Survive.

Human nature is fascinating.

Although, every ounce of me already gave up,

I am surviving through this life I so badly want to escape .


Continue reading...
2

I try. I really do

  July 13th, 2018 by hyperballad

I’ve seen so many people, visited so many hospitals, tried so many rx combos, gotten so many different diagnoses and just none of it honestly helps and there is very little tethering me to this planet anymore and I just wish it could be in my hands to decide to let go. No matter where I go or what people say to me to convince me otherwise, I’m left feeling like a stranger on the fringes everywhere I go. I’m alone. I’m deeply unhappy no matter how much I try to change it. And I try so hard


Continue reading...
0

lyf is all about sacrifices

  July 12th, 2018 by silentdreamer

Lyf starts getting bored when u just live for the sake of others… It is very difficult to sacrifice all ur wishes in-order to make others happy… This is what happening in my lyf… I seriously don’t know why its always me!!! Its been more than five years and now am fed up with this lyfstyle… Without being able share my feelings and problems to anyone am mentally distressed… I hate my lyf…. really really hate it!!!


Continue reading...
2

‘The Me Show’

  July 10th, 2018 by hyperballad

to start: I’m an alphabet soup of disorders. Three of those are bipolar, borderline tendencies (whatever the hell that means), and Asperger syndrome.

 

My closest support is my partner who is also financially tied to me. And I even feel her slipping through my fingers and this turning into an uncomfortable situation where we only live together because we can’t afford to live without any kind of plan which we currently don’t have and can’t foresee.

I mean. I can easily leave in a month’s time because my mother passed this June and has apparently left me a hefty inheritance. But my partner can’t. She is on [...]
Continue reading...

8

Can a suicide note stand in place of a notarized will?

  July 10th, 2018 by hyperballad

I’m trapped. I desperately want to die but doing so would leave my partner in a terrible position financially and as such could lose her daughter and her dog. My mother recently passed and has left me her entire estate in her will. I have been struggling against these feelings for so long and do not want to live another day. I have massive amounts of Seroquel and other rx drugs for the taking and I just want to take a walk to the woods tonight with a case of beer and down as many of them as I can. If I provided a written [...]
Continue reading...

2

OCD: A Cruel Joke

OCD: A Cruel Joke

  July 6th, 2018 by ShiSui

Have you ever heard of this type of obsession?

My obsession is about constantly questioning my sincerity of what I say, do, and think. I’m really bad with examples but it’s pretty much fixating on my intent towards almost everything, whether that intent was sincere or if I’m just faking it. I can’t convince myself otherwise I just keep doubting and obsessing if I’m doing/saying/thinking something for the reason I initially intended. Idk how to explain it any further because I’m obsessing whether this is a sincere post with the intent being to find others like me or if I’m just looking for attention. That’s really [...]
Continue reading...

1

Time travel

  July 5th, 2018 by PurpleCrystal

I wish I could go back in time and change a small detail in my life that would change everything. It would be great to grow up and not feeling useless. Maybe I would lived a true childhood and be less cold blooded. Maybe my parents would give me more attention than fighting all the time. Maybe my father wouldn’t humiliated me. Maybe I would be a better person that would be able to be someone useful than only eating and sleeping. Maybe I would never think about to die. All I feel able to do is to cry because I know I’ll never have [...]
Continue reading...

2

SCREAM

  June 30th, 2018 by flip the switch

ALL LIVING THINGS DIE

THE PHRASE RINGS IN MY HEAD

LIKE A PERSISTENT HEADACHE

THE PAIN, THE AGONY

THE COLD DEAD

ALL THINGS IRRITATING

SCRATCHING ABOVE THE SURFACE OF MY SANITY

ALMOST PENETRATING THE CEILING THAT WHICH IS MY INNOCENT HUMANITY

I AM FOREVER BELITTLED

BY MY COUNTLESS MENTAL ILLNESSES

TOO WEAK TO STAND ON MY FEET

FEELING LIKE BEING CRUSHED UNDER A HEAVY ROCK

IT THEREBY ARRIVES

LOOKING DOWN ON ME FROM ABOVE THE DARK

DEATH ITSELF STARES INTENTLY

BECAUSE OF COURSE ANOTHER SOUL WILL BE JOINING IT

PURE MADNESS FLOWS IN AND OUT OF MY BODY

THE BOY FINALLY LOST IT

LIKE SACRIFICING A SOUL TO THE DEVIL

KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME!

ALL WHILST QUIVERING

ADRENALINE PUMPING

HEARTBEAT PULSATING

TREMENDOUS ANXIETY AND [...]
Continue reading...

5

Had to let off steam

  June 29th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This is my second post today, forgive me for spamming here..

I just had to rant a bit. I feel so closed in with my own fears and struggles. I feel like there is no real physical person I can talk to. My close friends are just letting me down again and again.

I feel like they can’t understand or comprehend how hard it is to go through what I am going through.  I just want to talk to someone who would understand. I barely can find a person like this anywhere.

I’m really sad and I’m struggling to go through each day. I know I won’t quit [...]
Continue reading...

3

Going for the blind shot

  June 29th, 2018 by Urm8451n

There are financial problems incoming, that occur due to my mom’s chemotherapy.

There are new negative interview results coming for me.   There is the rich dad out there doing nothing to help me.

My so “used to be”  best friends are at this moment over the beach having fun with my ex girlfriend.

I have nothing at this moment to support me,  there is nothing at this moment to assure my future.

There is just that blind shot of succeeding this bachelor degree in Electrical and computer engineering.

I’m in my second year, and I’m the youngest student.  Even tho my age, it is impossible to find others who [...]
Continue reading...

1

want to leave this world!!!

  June 28th, 2018 by leo6000

I was happy. I had a young soul. A boy with full of dreams. A god loving boy. A innocent one.

A boy who used to think that this world is so beautiful and it has no injustice.

I was curious about everything. i wanted to know more and more.

i used to love my life. my world of life was beautiful.

and yes this life can’t even tolerate the injustice a little bit.

and cares everything around him and lifeless

but as curious mind have started to learn more about the world it also started to become more frustrated..

NOW this life is become a stone.

it can’t find way to go [...]
Continue reading...

6

Pain 1-10

  June 27th, 2018 by efilife

Sometimes to measure how horrible I feel that day I make myself imagine a gun right in front of me and whether I would pull the trigger right in that moment. Sometimes there are days where I would want to pull it without thinking just so I don’t change my mind. That’s whats scary to me.


Continue reading...
3

I just cause stress and problems

I just cause stress and problems

  June 25th, 2018 by Krystami

I don’t know what to do or anything….I’m lonely, alone, worthless, not anything but a waste of space, time, effort…anything. I would give my life story but have so many times, would also be a book…i type too much. I annoy others I just gwt in the way. I have tourettes, as well as many mental issues some self diagnosed, others not,

I have many health problems like celiac disease, back issues, jaw messed up, etc.

 

I try to make friends, but everyone gets tired of the way I talk or I’m plain boring. I’m married and trying to get divorces…middle of it. He is extremely narsisistic [...]
Continue reading...

2

Bandaids

  June 24th, 2018 by SilentVoices

The medicine is like a bandaid.

After months of crawling in the metaphorical dirt, my physician got fed up and referred me to a psychiatrist. I didn’t fight it, I gave up.

I’ve given up for a while now. I’m in a mental limbo: I care… but I don’t.

How may times have I cycled through the mental healthcare system? I’ve lost count.

Have a crisis… see the Doc… meet the new Psych… get meds… ignore everything…. Have a crisis- again.

I thought I was doing well. I always think I’m doing well. The medication slaps a lid on my emotions, muffles the voices… for a while. But when the [...]
Continue reading...

4

Do you know what I mean?

  June 22nd, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

How do they put the ‘Pretty Pictures’ behind your eyes??

Category: Night Terrors/Nightmares/Sleep Paralysis

To me, the images appear as slides underneath a microscope. Being inserted and then withdrawn. Here…place another. Some move like a theatre screen, others are just images. Never anything but dreadful, nonetheless.


Continue reading...
3

The void

  June 21st, 2018 by Urm8451n

What is the void for you?

I know for me it is the feeling when I’m completely alone and tired at the battle field.

The time of the day when I take a break, to grasp for air, and I completely realize I’m alone in this.

The void is what I encounter when I think about a relationship and love.  How can I get into a relationship?  Is it possible with such stressful and busy life?

The void is my room when it is weekend and old friends from my town don’t invite me to hang out.

The void is that feeling I get when I have extreme abdominal pains [...]
Continue reading...

2

I’m fine. Leave it.

  June 20th, 2018 by ariusversea

So if you see me walk down the hallway and you want to ask me if I’m okay…

While you refuse to believe me when I whisper yes…

Just know that I’m thinking about how you’d react if I told you I wanted to die.

You wouldn’t want to help me then.

That’s a promise.


Continue reading...
3

I cant anymore

  June 15th, 2018 by ctrz

I’ve sat here, countless days, haven’t left the house, haven’t DONE anything, I have no purpose, nobody is willing to hear my cries, even my best friend, whom I thought was exactly like me cant see anything wrong. Im leaving to go to Japan in 12 days, and after that, when I get back, Im going to go see her and then, then Im done. Im done not having a reason to live, im done being hurt by everyone, im done with my deadbeat family who always bash on me. there is no way that im going to sit here and let this happen. so, [...]
Continue reading...