Chronic Pain

2

Sigh. Here it goes

  April 4th, 2018 by ThatOnePersonWhoNoOneCaresAbout1

So uh I was self harming for a while. Yeah. Bad idea. I was walking through the house and my pants were rolled up a little bit andddddd they saw. So now I feel like a disappointment for this. I regret it so much.

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0

Update

  April 3rd, 2018 by Eccedentesiastsoul

It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last …

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4

She Flew Away

  April 3rd, 2018 by firefly11291998

The sickness came

We didn’t know

what it was, or

if it would stay or go.

 

The doctors said,

“She won’t stay long”

but we still hoped

that the were wrong.

 

Then she went

she flew away

God took her home

She’s there to stay.

 

When she went

I fell apart

it pierced me through

just like a dart.

 

Picked up back habits

I knew they were bad

had no other explanation

other than that , “I’m sad.”

 

Changed my life

the way I lived

most of it

was not what I wanted.

 

My dad told me,

“Think about you Mom.”

‘When she’s looking down at you

is she proud of who you’ve become?’

 

My friends told me,

“Keep your head up,

You’ll be fine.”

How could they know

What’s next in line.

 

*just a poem I wrote …

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0

The Inherent Humor in Self-Sabotage

  April 2nd, 2018 by AKidWithAName

You know what’s attractive about a self-sabotaging, incessantly angry, overly-formal asshole?  Yeah, me neither.  Looking back on my day, all I can see is me screwing up every single piece and part of my day. Not little fuck ups either. No, of course not. That would be forgivable and we all know I’m far beyond any kind of forgiveness. Instead, I not only ruined my day, but fucked up the lives of those around me. That’s right, folks! I’m a goddamn irredeemable piece of shit!

You know what’s funny?  I can’t stand the thought of anyone loving or even liking me.  It’s an absolutely abhorrent thought …

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1

They ask

  March 31st, 2018 by Rosesareblue

They asked me.

“Why do you cut yourself?”

They asked me.

“Why are there scars in your body?”

They asked me.

“Are you crazy?”

They told me.

“Attention seeker at its finest.”

And i sighed. Breathed heavily and walked away.

Whats the good in telling them what my demons tell me what to do, it’s better to keep my insanity to myself.

Because it’s better keeping everything inside rather than telling the world who doesn’t know how to listen.

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4

scared

  March 29th, 2018 by iamdarling

i’m so scared.

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2

Thoughts and Feelings

  March 27th, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

Do you ever have a really intense thought that u desperately want to let out, but the one person you trust the most is the person that the thought will personally effect, so you have no choice but to hold it in and let it eat away your mentality until you’re stuck sitting there at ridiculously late hours wondering the point of anything? I’m so exhausted of living a lie that I’m forced to live instead of letting out the truth. I want so much from life but who am I kidding? I’m never going have anything, I’m never going to amount to

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2

Same night..

  March 25th, 2018 by nonexistingsoul

I thought it would be a long time before I come back here again. But here I am typing while watching my wrist bleed. I want to cry but I can’t cry. I guess all my tears were long gone. All I can do is sigh. It stings. my wrist stings.

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2

Tragedy

  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

The world is silent; my heavy breathing is the only noise in the world… it feels weird. Almost like death is watching me, or like there’s something awful going on. Although there’s literally no noise, and no person in sight… I feel really alone and endangered. Maybe I’m just uneased, maybe I’m psycho, or maybe I’m lonely. I feel like god has abandoned us, because miracles and humanity no longer exist. All that’s left is pain, death, shattered attempts at love and the dried soil beneath our feet to remind us of the past we’ve lived; the history we’ve created. Whats happened to the

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0

Remain calm…

  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

I feel like every inhale I take is just steady preparation for the depression and anxiety and psychosis that’s coming when its time to exhale. I feel like every inhale I take is the last, like it’s the final breath before someone breaks in and kills me, before the whole world collapses around me and everything fades to black, and I become paralysed with numbness, slowly loosing sanity as I fall into deep delusion that everyone’s coming for me. I try to handle it, or hide from it if I’m being perfectly honest, but what happens when I stop hiding? When I finally

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0

Drown. Black. Drown

  March 23rd, 2018 by ShesAnAcid

Have you ever felt like drowning? How you wake up everyday, your chest just aching. You pound and pound and realize there’s nothing inside it. Just pure blackness and how it eats you from the inside. And how this feelings are inevitable in one’s life. How the waves keep crashing, the walls aren’t breaking, still silently screaming. The feeling when you want to let go and break down and it’s there, the burning sensation at the back of your throat but then it just doesn’t happen. How you just want to break down while there are thousands of people surrounding you, going on with their …

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8

Going Blind

  March 22nd, 2018 by ShesAnAcid

This is my first time writing here and also writing about this so openly. I don’t know where do I start, but I do know when will all of this ends, very soon actually. I’m on the edge now which isn’t so very surprising considering there are about millions who are like me too, some, worse than me. It saddens me that I’m just one of those millions who suffer like this, that I’m only a part of some statistics scientists conduct every year. That I’ll never be someone, I’ll just be a part of something bigger. And soon, no one will remember that I …

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1

Just trying to live

  March 16th, 2018 by lostdamagedsoul

     So I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to fine the purpose of this life. Trying to understand what makes people want to live. But I don’t see it. We live in a world that is so ugly. Us as humans destroy everything we see, touch, and feel. We hurt others, and we hurt ourselves. Love is a rare thing to see. And so is happiness. I don’t get the point in living. I’m loosing hope in that things will get better. But there is something inside of me that tells me that things will get better. But there is a

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11

people need people

  March 15th, 2018 by iamdarling

even though i’m an awkward introvert with social anxiety, i miss people. i miss being around people.

i’ve come to realise i’ve never really had a true friend, so, i can’t say i miss having friends. i don’t really know what it’s like to have friends. the idea doesn’t appeal to me much anymore. maybe, i miss the idea of them. the idea of a boyfriend is more appealing, which is weird, i know.

the idea of having someone i can expose myself to, and let them truly know me like no one else knows me, is bittersweet to me. it must be so… amazing, to love …

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3

3 months later, still no cigar

  March 13th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

Excuse this rant. I need it. I am living with a condition that knows no limits. At the start of this year, 2018, I wrote my verdict: I wrote that I am a man, 28 years of age, living with chronic pain. It is now around 3 months till the post, and nothing has changed. I thought I might give it more time but to no avail… I once had a beautiful smile and it got lost after living in the dorms, playing sports, and living life. A bump on my face caused a permanent change to 1 tooth. It spread across my face into …

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2

im trapped

  March 12th, 2018 by thenameisjoy

I’m trapped in this world, I’m trapped in my own mind.
my thoughts are consuming me, the idea of death is consuming me more and more everyday for 2 years.
I’ve been told I’m a burden, a non tolerable friend, lover,& daughter, I’ve been told I’m never good enough, i’ve been asked to kill myself, and I’ve been told im nothing, and I’ve become to believe i actually am.
some people didn’t need to literally say these things to me but their actions spoke for them pretty well.
I just can’t find my purpose, no matter what i do im never good enough, if i cut myself in pieces …

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5

  March 6th, 2018 by Iucy

Sometimes I don’t really want to die. I just want to not exist for a while….

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1

russian election is soon…

  March 6th, 2018 by Uuuggh

Hi, I’m from the shithole that’s mentioned in the title, and our election is near. Every day I’m suffering from anxiety and the thought of Putin becoming our president (dictator) once again… I can’t stand living here, it’s so mentally painful. After the war my family become so poor and I, being not rich nor smart, don’t have any chance to see the civil world, let alone live there. Anyone, set us free from this fucking slavery

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3

Still not dead. Wish I was.

  March 6th, 2018 by johnwhogivesashit

My story has gotten quite a bit worse since last May and my last post. Still on felony probation. I managed to fail upward and drop dirty for weed on another like 5 tests in the last year. Got a PTR for it. Been fighting that since December. The judge was actually a sorta decent human being and told me to stop getting high and he would let me complete my probation. Asking me to stop getting high is like asking me to stop breathing. So I quit weed and started snorting dope. Heroin… I got in a car accident a while back so …

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4

Suicide year 2014

  March 3rd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and kicks, and make hate …

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