Chronic Pain

1

want to leave this world!!!

  June 28th, 2018 by leo6000

I was happy. I had a young soul. A boy with full of dreams. A god loving boy. A innocent one.

A boy who used to think that this world is so beautiful and it has no injustice.

I was curious about everything. i wanted to know more and more.

i used to love my life. my world of life was beautiful.

and yes this life can’t even tolerate the injustice a little bit.

and cares everything around him and lifeless

but as curious mind have started to learn more about the world it also started to become more frustrated..

NOW this life is become a stone.

it can’t find way to go …

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6

Pain 1-10

  June 27th, 2018 by efilife

Sometimes to measure how horrible I feel that day I make myself imagine a gun right in front of me and whether I would pull the trigger right in that moment. Sometimes there are days where I would want to pull it without thinking just so I don’t change my mind. That’s whats scary to me.

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3

I just cause stress and problems

I just cause stress and problems

  June 25th, 2018 by Krystami

I don’t know what to do or anything….I’m lonely, alone, worthless, not anything but a waste of space, time, effort…anything. I would give my life story but have so many times, would also be a book…i type too much. I annoy others I just gwt in the way. I have tourettes, as well as many mental issues some self diagnosed, others not,

I have many health problems like celiac disease, back issues, jaw messed up, etc.

 

I try to make friends, but everyone gets tired of the way I talk or I’m plain boring. I’m married and trying to get divorces…middle of it. He is extremely narsisistic …

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2

Bandaids

  June 24th, 2018 by SilentVoices

The medicine is like a bandaid.

After months of crawling in the metaphorical dirt, my physician got fed up and referred me to a psychiatrist. I didn’t fight it, I gave up.

I’ve given up for a while now. I’m in a mental limbo: I care… but I don’t.

How may times have I cycled through the mental healthcare system? I’ve lost count.

Have a crisis… see the Doc… meet the new Psych… get meds… ignore everything…. Have a crisis- again.

I thought I was doing well. I always think I’m doing well. The medication slaps a lid on my emotions, muffles the voices… for a while. But when the …

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4

Do you know what I mean?

  June 22nd, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

How do they put the ‘Pretty Pictures’ behind your eyes??

Category: Night Terrors/Nightmares/Sleep Paralysis

To me, the images appear as slides underneath a microscope. Being inserted and then withdrawn. Here…place another. Some move like a theatre screen, others are just images. Never anything but dreadful, nonetheless.

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3

The void

  June 21st, 2018 by Urm8451n

What is the void for you?

I know for me it is the feeling when I’m completely alone and tired at the battle field.

The time of the day when I take a break, to grasp for air, and I completely realize I’m alone in this.

The void is what I encounter when I think about a relationship and love.  How can I get into a relationship?  Is it possible with such stressful and busy life?

The void is my room when it is weekend and old friends from my town don’t invite me to hang out.

The void is that feeling I get when I have extreme abdominal pains …

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2

I’m fine. Leave it.

  June 20th, 2018 by ariusversea

So if you see me walk down the hallway and you want to ask me if I’m okay…

While you refuse to believe me when I whisper yes…

Just know that I’m thinking about how you’d react if I told you I wanted to die.

You wouldn’t want to help me then.

That’s a promise.

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3

I cant anymore

  June 15th, 2018 by ctrz

I’ve sat here, countless days, haven’t left the house, haven’t DONE anything, I have no purpose, nobody is willing to hear my cries, even my best friend, whom I thought was exactly like me cant see anything wrong. Im leaving to go to Japan in 12 days, and after that, when I get back, Im going to go see her and then, then Im done. Im done not having a reason to live, im done being hurt by everyone, im done with my deadbeat family who always bash on me. there is no way that im going to sit here and let this happen. so, …

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7

******** Hypoxia

  June 13th, 2018 by kirlin.blair

If you let me fall in love with you like I want to, I’d do anything for you. I mostly want to massage you, eat you out, give you the best food and drink, and remember the smallest things about your personality.

I’d even help you enact a painless and undetectable suicide, if you were completely sure that’s what you wanted. It’s your right and I would never assert otherwise. I would bury your secret and cover it with a nonplussed veneer. I signed up for the whole woman with all her flaws and self-doubt, just so I could find joy in giving. Obviously I’d rather …

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1

Just sharing

  June 11th, 2018 by idoztknoe

I dont want to talk about it.
I wake up every day with this gnawing feeling. I try to push it away, but it gets worse.
It doesn’t stop. This feeling.
It hurts. It stings. All the heartache, the stress…it gets to you.
But all I ask, is that you understand.
Its deep depths of darkness, and loneliness. Like a boulder of weight always on your back. Slowly hurting you.
It doesn’t stop unless you make it.
When you die you cease to exist, so why fight if when your dead it ll all not exist.
Some took the leap. I really do envy them.
Please just understand that I’m not trying to be …

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5

Fading away

  June 10th, 2018 by wearehannahbaker

This is my first time writing here. I have read so many comments on the past few months and always wonder if those people are really gone now.

Finally I feel like I belong somewhere, I guess. Been lying all day in bed with absolutely no strength to get up and just crying.

We rock, guys….

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1

Dizzying effects

  June 8th, 2018 by mo992

So far I’ve been chasing myself and trying to keep distracted. I’m failing.

My health is failing. I feel nauseous and wonky. I act as though everything is fine and my life is faultless.

My heart is racing in my chest. My arms are weak and my eyes burn to the back of my skull. I am restless and yet empty.

I’m failing. I just can’t see myself carrying on like this.

I’m so tired of being tired. I would like death to come and embrace me now but I am in too much pain to go and seek it.

Damn chronic illness. Why me? I would not wish this …

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11

The noise won’t leave

  June 8th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I have Tourette’s Syndrome; OCD; light Autism; chronic and crippling depression, anxiety, and various medical differences/flaws/disorders. My Tourette’s- or tics, as they are often called-. manifest themselves mostly in my mind. With the exception of a few verbal tics, and a plethora of motor/physical tics, I can hide the urges and pain which plagues and afflicts me at my every waking moment. My wife and the rest of my immediate family are all well aware of my suffering; they, unfortunately, however, realize or wish to realize the full extent to which I am truly in pain. The only spans of consciousness wherein I draw pleasure …

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2

Courage

  June 7th, 2018 by PurpleCrystal

I wish I could have enough courage to die. I already wrote my suicide note and I look at it everyday asking myself when I can finally publish it and just rest to never wake up on this body again. I’m so tired that sometimes is really hard to think about anything clearly. I can’t read a book anymore because I always forget what I read. When I play games I get angry so easily because I can’t be concentrated enough on what is happening and I say the game is trash even if it’s not.

I’m unemployed for the last three years and I depend …

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5

Never hanging again

  June 4th, 2018 by Agonizing

Noose snapped still tied to my neck and I was too disoriented to tell, found myself in the bathroom looking in the mirror feeling extreme strain and not knowing why I was feeling increasing danger, and I said out “what’s going on?” thinking i had come out the noose hence the fact i was now in the bathroom away from the hanging wardrobe, I was confused I could still feel the tie and i started picking at it and then saw it was frayed, i pulled at it desperately until I could loosen the rope, I got it off and threw myself on the bed …

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1

  June 3rd, 2018 by Ree1222

I don’t like the feeling that I’ve lost. I’m overweight and it’s not easy finding a method for me. Not interested in a failed attempt and excuse me if all I talk about is wanting death because I never thought I’d turn out like this. I look at my few immediate family members, with a small hole in my heart by not wanting to be here. My body aches, my head aches, I have to work, no close friend’s anymore; it hurts to look my mother in the face because I know she wants the best for me, success in all but I know I …

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1

Why not Vanish?

  June 3rd, 2018 by BenzQoa

             Can I vanish?
Hello everyone, I believe you all know why I am here posting this. I feel empty, loneliness, hopeless. The will to live longer inside me has vanished, I do not wish to live any longer. I have friends, but none has really understood me. I have a wealthy family, but wealthy does not mean joy. I used to be a genius at school, but due to the current situation, I do not have the will to learn any longer. I cannot feel the joy inside me much longer. I just feel like it is worthless to live …

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9

Dont want to see another day

  June 2nd, 2018 by Agonizing

4 months of being reminded nonstop that life is now for suffering not for living. Will not hesitate to overdose when I have the drugs. I’ll get coked up, tripping, stoned and drunk for as long as I can and then overdose on more drugs when Im coming down, give the death a running start. Really cant measure my suffering since february, not had a moments rest, got lobotomized by antipsychotics injections, life is unrecognizable and unbearable.

Was told by a couple people I was the best happiest or most intelligent person they knew, now I’m the most fucked up person i

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2

dead already

  June 1st, 2018 by iamdarling

sometimes, i feel like i’m dead already.

life, is dead already.

i don’t feel fully alive, sometimes.

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25

Massive regrets

  May 24th, 2018 by Agonizing

Can’t stop trying to turn back time to when I made the biggest mistake of my life and agreed to let doctors who misdiagnosed me as schizophrenic and injected me with paliperidone, an antipsychotic, which has destroyed my brains pleasure function.

I took cocaine yesterday for the first time since getting injected, i was unable to feel a thing from it, no inner warmth no rush of pleasure, just a flat bone dry brain. This further confirms it for me, i am devoid of anything nice and good if even cocaine can’t make me feel pleasure for a minute. I was right to attempt suicide for …

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