Chronic Pain

1

I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade

  September 7th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and [...]
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5

Why I’m a Worthless Person

  September 6th, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I just fucked up today. I’m pretty sure I just ruined my relationship with my family. In all honesty, I hope they do hate me. I feel like I deserve it. Maybe this event will finally cement the idea that they raised a failure and they’ll just give up on me. So now, I’m writing this, as a way to publicly humiliate myself in a way that won’t make me a public nuisance. To tell everyone exactly what makes me such a piece of shit.

Honestly, I don’t know where to start. There’s so much wrong with me, putting into words how fucked up I am [...]
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0

Fever Talk

  September 5th, 2018 by PanicRevelation

I couldn’t sleep again.

 

I couldn’t change anything, I can’t be changed, I want to but I don’t, I won’t, I keep changing but at the same time nothing has.

 

I can’t. Can’t what?

 

There are so many thoughts but nothing at all coming to mind, it becomes so hazy and bogged down.

 

I can’t do this. I’ve lost my way in life again, I say that but to begin with I never had a direction at all. My head hurts.

 

Why does my body have to ache like this, my head is dizzy and burning hot but my body is cold to the touch and sweaty. Maybe I have [...]
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0

wave of depression

  September 5th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

I am a 29 year old male suffering from a soup of mental disorders and other tribulations, hence my other posts. I am unemployed, living with my parents after graduating with my electronics engineering degree. I am unable to find work, depressed, and tired. Instead of explaining my previous posts over again, I will just come to the point of how I feel now. At this moment, I am at a low no one else around me can surface. I suffer from something that I was afraid might get worse by time; I suffer from extreme self hate and body dysmorphic disorder – or as [...]
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1

Does it even matter

  September 3rd, 2018 by PanicRevelation

Does it even matter anymore? honestly it never did.

I tried so hard and so hard to die but each attempt failed leaving me here. So many years wasted.

How much more shame can i build up.

I thought maybe appreciating the small things in life would lead me to a happier life. after every failed jump and drowning and overdose. After bleeding out and forced into therapy for years and years at a time. I still feel so empty inside. Nothing has helped. I just want to die but even that has proven to be useless.

So I thought dying in a different way would be more effective.

More [...]
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0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and [...]
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1

stuck

  August 26th, 2018 by niladri54321

i dont know how to say this but failure always been part of my life.been following this page for 4 years n it gives me strength to survive this harsh world.

i m stuck. all my friends r moving forward n i feel like i m the only one no one gaves a damn my friend started ignoring me i guess bcoz they have jobs n i m still in college have tried to kill myself but i m a coward bcoz i dont want to lose my life like this all i have known is” giving up is not an option” no matter how hard [...]
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6

I’ve been taking Valium for 4 years

  August 24th, 2018 by Titania

I lost all my emotions 2 years ago. I feel less pleasure. I lost all my motivation.

I know it was the drug (Valium) that caused this.

But I can’t stop it, withdrawal is unsustainable. I can’t go to a mental hospital. I’ve been there before and they give neuroleptics. They’re not helping, they’re hiding the problem.

Who’s been taking benzodiazepines for years?


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3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime [...]
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4

sorry mom

  August 14th, 2018 by thisisnothing

my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences [...]
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4

Pain wins in the end, everytime

  August 11th, 2018 by ButterBoi

I do not want to die. I really don’t. I just cannot keep living like this. I was injured. Bad. I should start by saying I am a very sensitive and empathetic person, maybe too much so, but to me people just seemed cruel, and so growing up I preferred the company of animals. I turned my empathy into a wonderful career, saving endangered species in very remote locations of the world, with very little interaction with people. It was perfect for me, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it is also very dangerous work. I did it long enough that my number finally got punched. [...]
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2

Broken

  August 9th, 2018 by blackout21

I am just going to describe my situation, thoughts and feelings here in arbitrary order:
-I am addicted to dimethyl ether(gas in hair spray cans) and media including porn.
-I just now realize how much damage this has caused. I fail at almost everything I try. (85% of the last 7 bigger things I tried)
-I was diagnosed with 3 different mental health issues.(ADD, PTSD, paranoid schizophrenia(here in Europe the chances of being employed with this alone is only around 15%(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15133589))
-I think I have lost a good chunk of my intelligence.(I once had a high IQ(well seems like I only now know what I have [...]
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2

Where the Lonely Ones Roam

  August 7th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

If you’ve ever seen any of my previous posts on my chronic mental and emotional afflictions, then you must know this: that I am in pain; and, for most people- if not all- pain is something people hate. They most often turn to addiction or something essentially the same to hide or suppress their issue, whatever it may be.

I myself have had addiction issues before, and still struggle with an addiction to Pornography. That, and my depression and all around loneliness will be the topics I so boringly lay out before you all in this post today.

 

Since a very young age, I have been obsessed [...]
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4

The Damage Done.

  August 6th, 2018 by Brody2018

Well, where do I begin?
My life has been a roller coaster and would probably make an intriguing, but sad film.
So, why am I here?
I want to die. Badly. The decision is made and it will be carried out very, very soon. First a few affairs to get in order, then off to eternal sleep.
Why?
In a nutshell…..
When I was teen I was physically and sexually abused by my stepfather in private. He would sneak into my room, when I was asleep, put duct tape over my mouth to stop screaming. Then after each time he would say that “nobody believes [...]
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3

requiem

  August 5th, 2018 by imsosorry2468

It’s taking a lot for me to write this. I’ve had so conjure up the will or energy to even post here again. I feel so hopeless right now. I just want to die already!

God it’s so hard. To think about the shit storm of pain I’ll leave behind. I hate myself for feeling like this. I think people would be sad for a while but at least they’d be able to move on finally and live their lives without having to worry about me or pay for my therapy or my school or anything . My mom could start to fix her marriage [...]
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10

I wish everyone would love me…

  August 2nd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

I wish everyone would love me so I wouldn’t havw to be hurt anymore…

 

Their wouldn’t be any misunderstandings, or disagreements, or avoidance, or hatred and so on…

 

People would understsnd me and love.me forever…

 

I… what was it agsin that some people said in my last post about a girlfriend?

 

I should wsit for the girl to come to.me? How? Why? This isn’t Welcome to the NHK, there is no Misaki, I’m trying to be realistic.

 

How am I going to find people atrracted to.me just by natural persona? Or shoukd I some friendship into something more eith a girl I find?

 

Well how do you find and make friends…?

 

I [...]
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4

Loneliness

  August 1st, 2018 by rejection

I wonder if there is a cure to loneliness…


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4

To Whom It May Concern

  July 30th, 2018 by bec1998

I feel nothing but pain. The smile on my face is fake. The happy, carefree woman who was a mascot two consecutive years in high school, who sang for small crowds, who wished for world peace when she was younger, who wanted to be beautiful, has died. There is only a broken, tearful, world-weary woman in excruciating pain. A woman who spends her days crying. Who spends her nights crying. Who can’t take the pain.

I feel like I’m a burden to people, and I want to free them from their burden. I make everyone else sad because I have crippling depression, and I’ve had it [...]
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2

What is it?

  July 30th, 2018 by ariusversea

What is it?

What is it about me that makes me lesser than?

What is it about me that makes it so that I can’t be as good as her?

What is it about me that makes me think of what she would have done, how she would have done better had she been in my situation?

What is it about me that makes me incapable of being her?

I should be happy. I have everything. Everything I wanted. Everything she doesn’t have.

Almost everything.

She has the grades. The natural talent. The recognition that she is in fact the best.

The recognition that I am, in fact, in second place.

And second [...]
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2

Groundhog Day Loop

  July 24th, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Groundhog Day Loop Syndrome

(Image Source: Haruhi Suzumiya (Anime/Manga))

Itsuki: “We’ve entered an endless recursion of time. (x4)”

 

Intro

(Some rambling, sorry. :()

 

Sigh… I feel like saying so many things on here. 🙁

 

Like, most of it is on my profile I guess, but it would be nice to talk about personality stuff to see where everyone is at so I can get to know them, or if they never looked into it, they could to discover themselves. 🙂 Like, Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, arguably sillier ones like [...]
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