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Coping Skills
I’m so sorry for being a terrible person.
I will never be a doctor.
I would make an awful husband and father.
I regent putting everyone though hell.
Thank you Mom for always being there for me, please forgive me.
I’m sorry Katie for all the harassment I inflicted upon you and your friends.
I’m a coward for doing this.
I deserve nothing more then to be Satin’s *****
God let my condemnation provide justice for all my victims
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Many old timers here will be more familiar with the back story of Dawg … newer folks, feel free to peruse my past posts that date back to 2011.
The cliff notes:
I suffer from chronic back pain … make life difficult and saps my strength and will … often to the brink. And in years passed I was faced with homelessness through foreclosure … at which point I was confident I could implement my “Exit Strategy” and wash my hands of the whole mess. During this whole time … about the only reason I did not end my pain and cut short the inevitable march […]
I don’t know who believes […]
The little one I used to be,
Abandoned and replaced by,
a ghost in purgatory, a shadow crawling along decaying masonry in the dire dusk
I’ve been in this world long enough,
a refusal of existence comprised of sorrow with beauty hinted at but never possessed
The circus calls out to me and revelations of younger years ferment in the circuitry
Impossible to leave in this condition,
I’m still too thirsty, too weary, too broken
Numb to others until I become Aurora, glistening and carefree,
then the final act to beckon me into the abyss,
Exciting and disorienting,
The grim reaper stamps my ticket behind cold […]
So I’ve been absent from this site for awhile. I’ve been busy clearing out my shit and NO WAY IN HELL would I have imagined what a heap of junk I’ve accumulated; I actually wish I had a huge pit of fire to throw it all into lol..I know this is something I have to do or I’ll feel like I’ve left a mess behind and I believe that would fuk me over if there is an afterlife..I’m just covering all my angles here. ITS STRESSFUL as for some reason I still have attachments to some of the junk but at the same time I’m […]
Dust
Footprint
Reminder
Behind is a trace
It is a grey color
In its place I take a step
I watch as the sun rises now
Before you close your eyes, think of everything that made you smile and laugh today. Even down to the littlest giggle.
Pull it in. Fill your mind with it all. Close your eyes and hold onto those thoughts until you’re opening your eyes the next morning.
Stay strong tonight, friends.
When you’re laying in your room not knowing if you can keep going, remember something for me, okay?
You are amazing and perfect just the way you are. Nobody is ever weak. You are stronger than you could ever possibly imagine.
You know why?
Because we all have a flame of strength in our hearts. It burns bright even when our hearts are badly damaged. Our hearts continue to fight for us so we should always continue to fight for them. The flame cannot go out until our last breath is taken. So, you are always strong. Just have to keep that in mind.
I know life can be […]
I remember their voices as I lay there in the hospital bed.
Asking over and over why I did it. Why I took those pills. Why I wanted it all to end.
I remember laying there and for a split second I didn’t know. Here’s these people standing over me, tears in their eyes, and broken hearts beating in their chest.
Whether I were their kid, friend or brother, they all had a sign in their eyes that a piece of them almost died with me.
This is what I think about when suicide comes to mind.
Even if you want to die, you have to take a second to realize […]
When the bath’s drawn, the phone’s off, the house is empty… as it always will be… what do you do? When there’s no friend to call, no family in existence, no job to work, no place to attend, tomorrow, nor the next day, nor the day after, no car to drive, no health to live? What then? Cannot one simply slip into oblivion, forevermore? Isn’t that okay now? Finally?
I’m stalling. Why? Is there a man to stampede through the front door, thumping his chest with the almighty courage of one in love, to say, nay! Not tonight! This shall not be! Whisking me away in his arms, hair […]
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Hiya
I called this I Dye My Hair! Because when I was 13 yrs old I started cutting myself aka self harm. I have plenty scars on my body. And I know they will be there forever. So I learned to love each scar and shows me who I am and where I came from. I will always have memories part of me. I’ve. Stopped cutting about like September 2015 so I was just turning 17 and I haven’t really done it since then. But allot I think about it. So I have a technique I used on myself. I started dying my hair a […]
Hiya guys I’ve just made this account and lately I want to grab a hold of my weight I started gaining weight in like 6th grade and it stopped. Then I lost some because I had struggles with eating and I would go weeks and Months without eating nothing and if I did it was like a bite of something. Well this year I started eating again and adding weight to myself but I was never actually skinny. But now I am un comfortable with my body and my looks. And I pls on starving myself again or only maybe one thing a day idk […]
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Various Thoughts:
1) I’m coming down with a cold/flu thing, and have a sore throat.
I tried the important time-honored therapy known as “To hell with it, I’m having ice cream.”
And yet my throat is still sore, so this is going to last a few days.
2) I also am sneezing and sniffing, so apparently ToTrees and I will both be going (*sniff sniff*) for awhile. This is ok. I’m in good company.
3) Add all the other muscle aches and unmentionable disturbances that come with cold/flu bug things, […]
Since last night my internet connection died unexpectedly, I had to wait until I could get out of the house and go somewhere with WiFi.
While I was offline, I decided to use the time by writing some more music.
It’s a piece I started last week, during my extra dark bad days. Some things happened that triggered a pretty nasty pit of depression. It was bad and ugly and nasty, and I’m sorry for those of you that got to see that side of me.
Now I’m back to just my usual moderate day-to-day depression.
(Yay, I guess.)
But enough about that… the music!!
It’s a […]
My counselor told me that I need to spend time with people, that I’m alone too much. So I’ve been trying to spend time with people, people at school, people at work. I’ve been planning stuff with buddies and spending a lot of time with people who I can call buddies. The problem is that I still don’t feel right. See, before this I was always down and depressed and alone, but when I wasn’t alone I would sometimes (rarely) talk about my pain to people who I kind of trust (I don’t trust very much or very often), and I would feel this connection […]
This song reaches out to those of us who have been told that they can’t do something, or to those of us who have had their hopes, dreams, and hearts ripped out. You can keep going. Inside all of us, there’s a warrior <3. Stay safe everyone.
-BloodShallShed