Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

22 and Scared

by Inkblood 8/21/2013

written by Inkblood

I am a 22 year-old college student (female) who has had suicidal and depressive tendencies since high school.Â I come from a middle-class family of four, with a severely handicapped sister. My mother has always yelled at me for the most menial things (organization, putting things away, forgetting things, etc), and has called me “a piece of shit”, “jackass”, “asshole”, “heartless”, “twat”, “un-Christian” (I’m Agnostic but I’m afraid to tell her that), to the point where she blows up and hurts me both physically and emotionally. As I have gotten older, it has gotten worse to the point where I am now starting to get violent […]

8/21/2013 2 comments

fUCK tHE wORLD aLREADY

by 4L1C3 8/21/2013

written by 4L1C3

I’m just so fucking sick of everything

I’ve had to deal with things that have just driven me over the damn edge

My parents found out that I self harm and that I took pills

I feel so exposed and violated

They think I need a shrink

Hell, everyone thinks I need a shrink

They pretty much hate my boyfriend, who is the closest and most important person in the world to me

He understands things about me that no one else does

He’s accepted my shitty fucked up self

And I miss him so much

Before everything fell apart, it was like waiting for hell to happen

Now it is like going through hell

I want […]

8/21/2013 1 comment

I’m lucky, I know

by vhanne 8/20/2013

written by vhanne

I know there are so many things to be grateful for. We are not poor, I have a relatively high paying job, a college education, I have friends, my parents are okay, I have food everyday, I am not abused, I have talents, I do not have any major problems that could be the stuff of movies or tv shows, at times I am even considered to be physically attractive by some. On the outside, I am just normal, who have NO RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED.

But deep inside I feel dysfunctional, I cannot stop myself from dumping negative feelings in my social media accounts, and […]

8/20/2013 3 comments

Time

by theforgottenfew 8/20/2013

written by theforgottenfew

They say time heals all wounds…but I think that’s a lie. I think it’s just something that someone made up one day to tell someone they knew that was struggling through something. I wish there was some magical thing that could help every person that is depressed or suicidal because I know how suicide can hurt people you don’t think it would…I know how much it sucks to be on the other end of suicide, and even I feel guilty for wishing I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I miss being happy. But I guess when you’ve lost one of the most important people […]

8/20/2013 2 comments

And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known you wanted to take your life…

by theforgottenfew 8/20/2013

written by theforgottenfew

My daughter’s father before he committed suicide.I was three months pregnant. This was while we were still happy.

This is Annabelle, our daughter. She was born 3 months after her father committed suicide. She […]

8/20/2013 4 comments

Is It Better To Have A Friend To Fall With Or A Friend To Pick You Up?

by Dez 8/20/2013

written by Dez

For about a year now I’ve yearned for suicide and I’ve dealt with my mental insanity, by myself.

But now I’ve met someone with my same problems! We talk about suicide like its not a bad thing, we talk about our hallucinations like everyone has them, we talk about our anorexia like our parents would be proud, and we talk about running away from home like it’s a normal thing to do.

Sometimes I can’t help but feel like she’s bringing me farther off the cliff, other times I think I couldn’t live life without her. She’s convinced me to set a date for us to run […]

8/20/2013 4 comments

Anybody who has been with CAMHS…

by oliviadee 8/20/2013

written by oliviadee

Anybody that has been with CAMHS (Children Adolescence Mental Health Service) comment and tell me what your experience was like with them; mine was okay but there were aspects of CAMHS which i wasn’t impressed with and some factors that led me to get progressively worse!

8/20/2013 4 comments

This is my story.

by theforgottenfew 8/20/2013

written by theforgottenfew

It has been almost a year…

Since I lost the man I love.

Since he gave up.

Since my daughter lost the father she never got a chance to meet.

Â Since he shot himself.

I wasÂ six months pregnant with his only child.

She is perfect.

She looks just like him.

But he won’t ever know that.

He is gone.

He has been gone forÂ nine months andÂ twenty-nine days.

It feels like it has been centuries.

I watch the one video clip I have of him just so I don’t forget his voice.

8/20/2013 6 comments

So many thoughts

by bohomermaid 8/19/2013

written by bohomermaid

I have so many thoughts in my head right now that I can feel the weight of them pushing me down. There is so much going on at one time in my life right now that I don’t know how to sort it all out or how to even begin to deal with it. First there is all my friends leaving; I knew this was coming but for some reason in my sick and twisted world I had made myself believe that I had so much time to say goodbye and that summer was just going to last forever and no one was really going […]

8/19/2013 6 comments

Read it if you wanna, it’s kinda long, I’m just ranting :v

by seekinghelp 8/18/2013

written by seekinghelp

Writing helps calm me down.
I don’t know why, but it does.
I’m writing right now, because I’m under severe stress.
They’re still fighting as I’m writing this lol

Well guys, let me tell you my story :v
I mean if you bother even to read it haha

Well, my Dad’s a gambler. he lost all the money in the household and now we’re broke. Like BA-ROKE.
My mom’s suicidal. She always tells me how she just wants to stop living and attempted suicide multiples of times infront of me, and my siblings.
Well, me, I’m just a kid going through highschool
I have a little brother […]

8/18/2013 8 comments

Why now.

by mumblebumblebee 8/18/2013

written by mumblebumblebee

I have been clean for 10 weeks, which is a tremendous achievement for me, as I’ve never gone for this long.
The only thing that comes with this, however, is the overwhelming urges, especially at this time, when emotional release is important right now. I struggle to find any other forms of emotional release, I really struggle.
I am receiving my exam result in a few days, and if I fail it will affect me hugely, I would’ve let down my parents, who have held me a high standard I have enjoyed working towards, but the pressure is immense now.
I am also caught in […]

8/18/2013 1 comment

Closure

by RayBz 8/17/2013

written by RayBz

To any this concerns toâ€¦

I have grown tired and frustrated of life that I cannot continue any longer, I have accepted the idea that I may well be forever alone during my stay in this unforgiving cesspool we call Earth, thus I found no other reason for me to continue living. I have had a good upbringing and life and for that I am thankful, but I cannot live simply for the sake of my family or friends. Life is pointless when you have no one to love. What is good about being alive if itâ€™s not even worth living?

Funnily enough it took a story […]

8/17/2013 4 comments

I’m still here

by Sunnygirl1 8/16/2013

written by Sunnygirl1

Ivory skin, your bodyâ€™s still warm

Donâ€™t you leave me here,

My heartâ€™s not ready to mourn

Tired eyes, not yet closed

Donâ€™t you leave me here,

Be my perfect ghost

Your heart, is beating

I have hope

That youâ€™re not yet leaving

Donâ€™t you leave me here

I refuse to cope

The sun will rise

The sun will set

But youâ€™ll be gone,

And I wonâ€™t forget

The river still runs

The creek still flows

But youâ€™ll be gone

And my heart will slow

A quiet rain hides my teary eyes

Nowhere to run; nowhere to hide.

Your skin is too cold for me to touch

I canâ€™t look away, it hurts too much.

Sunny days have disappeared

No more sunlight to dry my tears

Your heart is slowing

Why […]

8/16/2013 0 comment

I think I might be broken.

by Sunnygirl1 8/16/2013

written by Sunnygirl1

Hey everyone, I’m new to this website and this is the first post I’ve ever made on here. I’m 17, entering my senior year in high school. On the exterior, it might look like I have a good life: I have good grades, a great group of friends, and I’m not in any financial trouble. I smile a lot because it’s expected of me. I don’t remember the last time I’ve smiled for myself. Everything I do feels forced and fake.

When I was four years old, my mother killed herself. She hung herself, and I walked in on her hanging there. This stayed with me […]

8/16/2013 7 comments

How do you know?

by mcurie 8/16/2013

written by mcurie

How do you know when everything is done?

When every avenue has been tried, and nothing has actually shifted enough to make life something more than tolerable?

How do you know?

I believe that living organisms naturally seek life, and so I understand that to feel this way – to want to die, to stop – is not the natural order of things.Â it takes a tremendous amount of will, and even in the oddest ways our bodies will still fight for life while our minds are saying “stop, no, let go.”Â I believe this, and I know from experience how hard it is to push the body […]

8/16/2013 3 comments

Fuck You

by Manny Manson 8/14/2013

written by Manny Manson

” what you going to do with your life ” shut up its my life like you said mom so there for I do what I want, when I want & how I want it. How dare you try to take away the things you didn’t help me get, take the dignity, the accomplishments etc you didn’t help me with shit & father whose that I fucking hate seeing your face every day. Ya both make me sick and feel like shit so I hope the pain you cause me eats you alive and leaves you there like a helpless child like how I did […]

8/14/2013 2 comments

Doomed From Birth

by rkgatsby 8/14/2013

written by rkgatsby

I’m 18 years old and IÂ feel trapped in my life.Â Every single day since IÂ can remember, I’ve woken up miserable andÂ hating myself.Â It started when I wasÂ 4 years old and my parents got divorced.Â My dad got married a few months later and I lost almost all contact with him aside from our three hour visits each month, which are forced and I dread going to.Â I grew up living in an apartment complex and my family was in a horrible financial situation.Â My mom would yell and complain and take out her depression on me andÂ my siblings every day of every year.Â She and […]

8/14/2013 4 comments

Giving up

by lilac 8/14/2013

written by lilac

I don’t care if anyone answers, I just need to know that someone out there has heard my story.

I guess is how most stories of depression start out, daddy leaves and so forth. Well my dad left 6 years ago, when I was 11, and I haven’t seen him since. I was confused at first and hurt, but I put on a facade of cockiness because I hated being perceived as weak. I developed depression but no one noticed because I was so good at hiding it. I started eating as a coping method and gained a lot of weight. Kids made fun of me […]

8/14/2013 4 comments

A Victim of My Own Mind

by beachyhead 8/11/2013

written by beachyhead

Hi all. I’m currently really low in the depressive cycle of bipolar. I hate the guilt I constantly feel for being this way. I never asked to be manifested on this planet anyway, so why is it such a taboo subject when telling people that I feel suicidal? People are hypocrites, saying they want to talk anytime but then when you explain that you are at peace with the idea of ceasing to exist on this physical plain, they turn and then the guilt starts.

I have a degree and I used to be in a band who were pretty decent, but all of that is […]

8/11/2013 4 comments

I’m Losing It

by rafaelgarcia733 8/11/2013

written by rafaelgarcia733

I’ve thought about taking my life so many times. I know some say it’s the cowards way out and that someone always has it worse than me – Truth is, I’m just so fed up. I’m exhausted. It’s like things are so bad I just don’t even feel like getting out of bed. I have great friends but I just have so many emotional issues that even hanging out with them seems like a chore.

I was sexually molested and abused continuously when I was young. I didn’t even know to tell or what to do. My mom found out because there was blood in my […]

8/11/2013 9 comments

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