General

I guess everyone has limits. I’m reaching mine. I can’t take much more and if it doesn’t get better I see no reason to continue on with this life as well as the thoughts in my head. They’re killing me. And I’m so overwhelmed. Time is ticking, there’s so much shit to do. My dad is barely being any help, only trying to help with his new girlfriend around. I’m reaching my limits however small they may be, I cant do anymore and I cant go any further. I want relief. I want to disappear. This fucking life, this world, holy shit. I just can’t […]

The reason why so many of us are depressed, and are languishing, is bc we do not have a good reason to continue on, to get up and fight another day. What for? What is at the end of the rainbow?

Most of us no longer have that Motivation- that ooompf.

Life would be worth living, if there was meaning, or some kind of purpose.
Life would be worth living, if your hard work and intelligence paid off and meant something.
Life would be worth living, if there was something at the end of the rainbow.
Life would be worth living, if you were actually […]

I’ve been coasting for the past few weeks. Just going with the motions. Something is going to catch up to me. My uncle told me the job market is bad and I should stay in school. Hell I heard from some people here that the job market is bad. When is it good? You always here that the economy is bad and the job market is bad. I still dread the idea of staying here. I’ve been coasting, but something is going to catch up. I can’t do this. I’m not good enough. But […]

I was woken up this morning by my tooth hurting…. so I ended up working on a horror novel I’ve been reading…. in the end it drove me to the edge. A few minutes ago I reached the point I stopped reading the detail, and started skipping about trying to get some answers, only for most of those answers to be out of reach. That’s what appeals to me about horror; often enough there are no answers, or the answers are up for interpretation.

It bugs me that humans as creators of narrative prefer to create a world of happy endings. Happy endings are a lie, […]

I miss my medication. It made me scratch the surface of what normalcy feels like.

If your parents don’t own land, then you are born into debt. Yes, the moment you are born, you are in debt. Your parents must pay rent every month. If they are lucky, they “own” a house and pay mortgage. They do not own the house until every last payment has been made. And most do not own the land. Especially if you live in the city. You may “own” a house, but not the land beneath it. And without land, you own nothing.

When you go to college, you take out more debt, bc in today’s world […]

I want out of this rat race
I want out of my miserable life

We aren’t allowed to live any kind of real life, given lack of money / shit jobs.
Yet we aren’t allowed to die either.

And YES, there IS a reason why they make suicide illegal. It isn’t bc they give a rat’s ass about our lives or whatever they claim. It is bc those in power do NOT want the peasants to have a way out. If there was a way out, people would not pay their debts. Credit card bills, mortgages, student loans, car payments, medical bills- you […]

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

This is a comment from this reddit thread:

People don’t realize that THIS is the problem with modern life in America. Is it a wonder why so many people are unhappy, on drugs, alcohol, opioids, antidepressants? Is it a wonder why everyone is so unfulfilled? With crap jobs and crap bosses? Sure not everyone has a crap job, but a LOT of people do.

We now live to work, not the […]

I hate drinking, but it’s one of few things that calms me down as of late. I don’t drink often, maybe once every few months or so at this point, but I just had a drink and man, I feel a lot calmer…

This is why I have to limit myself, so it doesn’t become a habit.

Luckily I’m a big dude, so drunkenness doesn’t come as easily for me. Still, it’s nice to shush the bad thoughts and just chill out after work.

And yet, my mind still races.

The medication seems to be working. I think. I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I still feel worthless and incapable of anything. But I’m still going through the motions. Doing the work. Still don’t know if I’ll quit school or not. Right at this moment I have this nauseous feeling. Like something is going to happen. Something bad. Like it’s creeping up on me and about to strangle me. I don’t know.

YES, things are BROKEN in America. If we point out that modern life is broken, or that we are trapped in a system that doesn’t work for us, we are told that there is something wrong with US. If we are sad or depressed or have mental issues, then anything and everything and all problems lie within US. WE are blamed INDIVIDUALLY for not being “well-adjusted” to modern society, and it’s OUR fault. Never mind that the system we are in produces broken lives and broken individuals. But no, we are told, there is something wrong with US. […]

Following up on someone else’s post:

Therein lies the problem- our society is fundamentally “broken.” It doesn’t work for the masses, it doesn’t work for the working poor. But Americans are brainwashed to think everything is fine and great in America- and if you DARE complain about anything it’s always met with “then move and leave the country!” or “look at Africa, we have it SO much better, how dare you complain!”

Nobody fucking thinks we should FIX a problem instead of just “leaving the country”?? How do you think we have Child Labor Laws? By saying, “if you don’t like it, move!”? […]

O’ fellow SP’ers… We’re unable to live proper normal happy lives, and also unable to die. Just what do we do with ourselves?

I’ve been going to therapy for nearly 30 years at this point, long enough that I’ve done therapy with every modality and philosophical bent. One particular therapist had a pillow on his couch that said; “if it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” I don’t remember him being particularly Freudian in any other way, so it might have been a joke.

That joke being that in Freudian therapy, it almost always comes back to the mother for young men. I remember when I was covering it in college and I found out that part of why Freud is less taken seriously now is that his approach […]

Reddit: Modern life is complete garbage

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

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If a puppy gets kicked and abused repeatedly by a human, it learns to distrust and hate humans. It reacts by being aggressive or shrink away from humans. It isolates and becomes a loner. It learns to bite and bark, and becomes an aggressive dog.

Much is the same way for humans. If humans from an early age are abused and neglected, it learns to distrust humans, it becomes a loner, self-isolates. It has a hard time trusting other humans, has trouble forming bonds, becomes angry and bitter, at the world, at life. And obviously depressed.

And what if […]

I remember bleeding for someone for years. And they never cared. And it was all a lie. See them for what they really are and they will show themself to you at once. Yeah that really answers the question……

The whole point was to find each other. Now you are both dead. And when I am dead we will all be together again in the spirit world. So the only entire point really of this life was that we found each other, even though we met with tragic end. The whole point was that. So that we can be together forever after that, in the spirit world! And you got to spend 9 years together. But fuck this place. Let’s all be in the spirit world together. We couldn’t exactly be in the spirit world together forever if we had not met in this […]