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Her songs:
I guess I just want to record this somewhere no-one can link it to me (not till after I’m gone, anyway).
I suppose I was probably happy as a child but I’ve been messing up big time since at least my mid teens. I let everyone down, repeatedly. I can’t be trusted, no matter how hard I try to be good. Everyone will be much better off when I’m gone. I’m divorced, two children, have a boyfriend but he won’t stick around much longer. I was single for a long time before I met him and I think life was probably easier with one less person […]
I know as I lost a best friend to suicide nearly six years ago while living abroad. He mostly didn’t respond to people reaching out and we didn’t know precisely where he physically was, but those more proximal to him say they could’ve been more forceful. I could have too maybe.
Now I tread dangerously close to the edge all the time, except I’ve attempted to partially opened up to people about it. Multiple different ones over a long period of time. Made dark statements, ask for a little engagement time to stave off the misery. And everyone just was super fucking hands off. Some of […]
The playlists abounded, the only things left besides the journals upon journals, notepads chock-full
I’ve been on here a few times before, but I’ve never posted. Was too scared, I guess. I still am, really. What of, I’m not sure. I can state the obvious, like, I’m here because I want to die. But I’m too much of a coward to do anything. I’ve been very close, but that’s not enough, you know? I used to talk to people about it sometimes, but they never took me seriously on it. Now I don’t, because I’ve become too burdensome for that. But I still want friends, I still want to be liked, which is why I simply don’t talk about […]
https://creator.nightcafe.studio/creation/lgZAU77M5JbFZvkkBCuY
It is human to, at this point, put forth a greeting to the community i have just joined here. Hello. I want to die. I shall start with a recent tale of achievement in my life.
-I am very happy that recently, I secured my avenue of prospective death in a manner of which I shall not discuss, but which brings me great solace to find was appropriately covert and fruitful. I feel peace knowing I can hold the hand of death this way, and have been more productive for having this comfort.
This is all I shall share for now.
Wishing […]
I don’t know who to talk to anymore, so I’m back here, because no one wants or cares about me, and the people who do don’t understand how serious it is. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live either.
I guess I should be honest here, if anywhere. Recently, I’ve been having bizarre sexual thoughts about my family and God, who are supposed to be these sacred things that you should never sexualize and I hate myself for it and the only thing I can blame is the abilify. That horrible horrible drug that yes, has removed some of […]
I hate others and myself because I’m very weak and stupid and I haven’t been able to achieve my dreams or any success in life. I hate this shit. Stuck and suck at this. I don’t know how to live a good life, a normal life. I wish things would change or end because I can’t take it much longer. I wish someone knew and told me how and what to do in life.
I don’t like this world, my world. I don’t like the way things are for me and around me. I hate this shit.
does anyone with major depression and also a cat recommend adopting a cat.
https://youtu.be/tkaYamHSyt4
credits
How is possible to change ?
Im tired of living.
Ive tried many things and I failed in everything. When things are going well something external overtakes me like a high speed train. Then I get a long time to recover.
Im so tired I can keep working, studying and reinventing myself.
I dont wanna do anything, just think bad things, procrastinate and wish to commit suicide.
🙁
Why does it have to be this way
Lost in time and outer space
Like a dying star
I feel like im fading away
Lost in time and space
I could never find my place
Why does it have to be this way
All this love i given away
Cant take back what i say
All these mistakes
Which will put me in the grave
About the only time ill get laid
still kind of not allowed to stop working, which I still think is a weird position for an adult man to be in, but hey, who said any of this had to make sense? Carl Sagan probably, but he was an academic, different rules for such people.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the doctor, not because I wanted to, but because I had run out of other options apart from hospitalization or death. Frankly, it was only slightly more appealing than death, and that was because it is nearly impossible to screw up going to the doctor. It’s like having a drug dealer who gives you […]
it’s really great. Try it if you haven’t. Humans of New York is another favorite you might enjoy.
I had a great 5 yrs till I moved back home (5 hours away) to help take care of a family member that is declining in health. My family never gets along with me I’m unsure why I felt like I needed to be the bigger person, why I felt that this will be different.
Fast foward…
Im now homeless because I ended my life to help others, I have no money cuz I was living off my savings however I manage to have a “friend” who is lending their sofa/couch till the end of the month. Idk how imma eat, how imma get my […]
About a month ago I spontaneously got into making and learning all about cocktails. I barely drink, mainly due to indifference and price, but mixology always interested me. I totally dove in, staying up late getting lost in learning about the tools, recipes, science, history, combinations…that lovely flow state of forgetting that you exist, and just becoming what you’re doing. What a feeling, I’d almost forgotten.
But man, booze is expensive here. One recipe led me to another, with just one or two ingredients I didn’t have. I finally stopped myself after dropping nearly 250$ on different things. Halfway in I started thinking about what a waste […]