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I don’t really try to be. It fucking sucks that I have to be around people who usually would make me feel better, and not feel better.
Stop hating yourselves for a moment…
Now, get used to doing that a lot.
You feel more than most people. You are the normal one. Your home, your community, your “world”, does NOT have to end in tragedy. The planet survived ‘the dark ages’ , and I suggest you survive yours.
Don’t let those bastards win.
I hate having a scientific mind, it’s like I can’t have a normal life because I’m thinking of things along the lines of “I feel like we are made of nothing, the whole concept of how we live life and how we sleep is unexplainably weird. We have eyes, mouths and ears.. We are walking limps.” It all sounds funny but it gives me this really nasty hopeless feeling. Trapped in my mind kinda thing. I wish I could think what normal people think but I’ve bypassed that mentality long ago. I’m living for my family and boyfriend in whom I love dearly. […]
Okay, so nearly six months ago, I was extremely lucky to find an awesome girlfriend. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, caring, the lot. But, she has a few major shortfalls. One: she can’t deal with my depression or bi-polar very well at all. Two: she shuts down when I try to talk to her (I.E. she tries incredibly hard to either swap topic or turn it into something else) and three: she doesn’t like the fact that I smoke (she fucking hates it more than I hate me).
Anyways, I very rarely see her these days because her schoolwork is absolutely ridiculous. She’s only in year […]
Why? Why is it that I feel useless? Why is it that people always find it so incredibly easy to leave me behind? I really don’t understand why I could possibly be so fucking useless and so hopeless that opening my eyes of a morning is the first and worst mistake I make of the day.
People always say “It’s a phase; you’ll grow out of it” or “You’re not really that sad, are you?” or, my personal favourite “I understand, you will be fine”
I wont be fine. I wont grow out of it. I am really that sad. It is such a challenge […]
my arms are starting to burn again. last night i was trying so hard not to break down and cut. instead i layed in my friends from yard on a weeping willow and closed my eyes. i guess thats strange. oh well. i was playing with my lighter last night and burned my hand. my friend noticed and said it smelled like burning flesh… oops.
I want to know whether people actually share the same perspective of life like mine. Open for discussions. No arguments please, I respect all your opinions. I just want to know how many thinks the same way, I dont try to impose anything. Thank you.
1. After a while of trying and failing, you start wondering if the problem is your own self.
2. The God of this human world is money.
3. Humans are all trash. They say good things, say they love and care, but then they lie, they scheme, they betray, they backstab. Humans try to blame it on the evil but THEY are the […]
Suicidal people can not help each other.
people who are suicidal do not care about the world or the people in it.
there is no point in caring about others
save yourself
Why did I have to spend all my money before my attempt? Now I have to put on an act until I have enough money for another helium tank :'( …at least I know where I went wrong!
There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]
so more came out. along with the paying whores for the last seven years he had multipul e mail accounts and was sending messages back and forth with people was on tons of sex sites chat sites dating sites getting naked pics from people jerking off to anything anyone any fucking whale or old lady who sent him shit. pretending he was this black guy with a HUGE ungodly moster penis. OMG.. unreal… my life seems so unreal.. like a awful fucking joke.. and I know he has a addiction problem and he is gonna get help but then there is other shit …apparently my […]
Am I wrong for saying if people want to hurt/ kill themselves it’s okay? o – o
Like I understand if your crying out for help and want to change that’s okay, and I’ll even try to help.
Because if you were really going to kill yourself you wouldn’t say anything… or at least I wouldn’t…
Any ways It wouldn’t matter what people say.. but if your really trying and looking for a reason not to do it message me on my email and I’ll talk to you I will be there for you.
Sorry to the people that will be & were, Â “Butt-Hurt.” By my thoughts.
If you are […]
2 weeks ago I told my sister I don’t like boys and that I kind of like girls she said that it’s an abomination to like the same gender and it isn’t ‘natural’ and said she was against it and asked why would I even like girls and said if I were to die today I would most likely go to hell (she’s Christian) she said I need to go to church (I’m not that religious) she also said if I were to tell my dad that I like girls he would most likely stop talking to me he said he’d rather his daughter be […]
In 3rd grade, I was told by my doctor that I had anxieties. I was going home from school everyday sick to my stomach due to my constant worrying. My father hadn’t contacted me in awhile and it was the first thing that had me worried so bad at a young age. I was making myself really sick and I’d have panic attacks. As I got older, I struggled with more teenage problems. My anxieties were at an ultimate high. I’m sixteen years old and can barely drive a car because I get worried about everything I’m doing and I have a panic attack and […]
Down in lines across the veins
It runs, drips and drains
Singing songs of total despair
the feeling one cannot compare
Euphoria down deep to the bone
drops drying in a new tone
Writing words at time with fright
a crimson flow my greatest delight
Letting out my fears
this has gone on without tears
Often scars happen at night
in day realize i’m not alright
Initiating relief slowly getting harder
life alone worse than a martyr
Pools of water stained with red
i’m alive, i never wanted to do what i did
I may be because i’ve already died
or it might be i’m Broken Inside
I hate it when people say: ‘suicide isn’t the answer, life gets better’…..
(if suicide isn’t the answer then someone plz tell me what the f#ck the answer is
my life isn’t guaranteed to get better believe me my life can get worst )
I hate it when people say: ‘people who commit suicide are cowards’
(people who commit suicide are some of the bravest people yet I bet if people had to put up with half the things suicidal people go through they’d go crazy)
I hate it when people say: ‘don’t kill yourself you have so much to live for’
(some people are poor, homeless, have no family , […]
Sometimes I ask myself why am I here… sometimes I ask myself what is the point of living…. when you have no hopes or dreams , or future who do you turn to? a blade maybe? perhaps a razor? If you cry no one will have to know…if you cut yourself no one will have to see your scars…who am I? what made me the way I am now….why must life bully me? why can’t I be pretty? or rich? how can I tell someone what’s wrong with me…
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
1 I only have 2 friends (well kinda 3 )
2 I have low self esteem (I’m worthless)
3 […]
2 years clean and i finally broke down. Â My wrists have so many scars on them its….its funny…
I claimed insanity today..I cut my arms and laughed as the blood slowly came out. I threw my head back and laughed.
I dont cut deep enough to drip blood..just enough to leave a mark.
closed my eyes and keep picturing me as a little kid. running through the grass with my arms open wide my head held high…laughing
I posted my picture of my cuts because to me its a pretty picture..but no one else thinks so…their all mad at me and it just makes me cut more.
ask me why […]
You messed with my heart.
I can no longer be your friend.
You say your sorry, but your not… You’re only saying those things for her.
She cares, Â she’s my friend.
She knows you hurt me. Â So she told you to say sorry.
You say you’re cruel but I don’t think so. You were so nice.
But I have to say goodbye.
My hands are shaking. My heart is breaking. I know I’ve lost you. You say I’ve moved on but I know I haven’t. I’m just not okay. I’m not happy. I’m not.. ANYTHING. I have my rope, waiting to slip around my neck and for me to take that plunge.. And I feel numb. Nothing. I know I hate myself. I know a lot of things. But nothing compares to the knowledge of my love for you. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. You are my soul mate and I will die without you. I can’t talk to you because you freak […]