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Bullying is Hard to Get Over

by hopefuldreamer
written by hopefuldreamer

I cried myself to sleep last night because I was so frustrated everything just felt pointless and I was tired of feeling stuck and just wish I never got depressed in the first place. I feel like being bullied caused a lot of problems for me that led me to depression and I feel like if I dealt with bullying by talking to someone and telling those who bullied me that what they were saying was hurting me instead of putting my energy into hobbies then I wouldn’t be here. I developed so many bad habits because of it for instance: I hold all my […]

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I feel pathetic

by Mat
written by Mat

I feel so unsure about my life at the moment and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to do after school and I am generally unsure about myself.
I am a 17, soon 18, year old male and I feel pretty much useless at the moment.

I have a great family and I don’t want to hurt them. I know that suicide will hurt them a lot because my uncle did it not too long ago…
I have never seen my grand parents so sad as they were after that. I just can’t stand the thought of doing that to my parents.
But at […]

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Rollercoaster, what one word can do with me.

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

Today felt like a rollercoaster for me. my day started pretty good, yeah I had some troubles with waking up and getting out of bed, but that’s quite normal for me. I was at time for my therapy. I have 5 days a week therapy from 9 am till 3 pm. Well, also that started prettu good, until the section visual arts. We had to draw the vulnerable side of ourselfs. I became very emotional of my drawing (I was drawing the word ‘trust’ with the first t as a cross) and when we were done, we had to say what you’ve had drawn and […]

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What is Love?

by RUG
written by RUG

When I was younger, I was molested and beaten almost daily by my older sister who I idolized and looked up to. My parents would blame me for her violent episodes, saying that I provoked her. Whenever I would fight back, I’d be punished, by spankings with a belt, or they would take away things that were important to me.
Later on, my sister told my parents that I was the one who instigated the molestation. It was a very, very shameful night, me, sitting at the table with my family, my sister crying crocodile tears of guilt at 15 years of […]

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Why I am still alive – more than a rhetorical question

by abhi
written by abhi

Am I just too coward to embrace the death… Am I still too much attached to people around me and care for their for feelings towards me … Or Is there still some materialistic/physical comfort that really excites me and is unconsciously asking me to hold on to it … or there is really a purpose that divinity had decided for us and we can’t go before fulfilling it …
I feel that the the answer is none of those…
Instead the only reason that I think that I am still alive now is sheer curiosity ….. there’s defn some thing really exciting after death […]

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what i want.

by b1urr
written by b1urr

i want to cut severely deep.
i want to hit myself with the hardest things, as hard as i can.
i want to drown in my tub with heavy rocks holding me down.
i want to never speak again.
i want to take all the pills i can find.
i want to purge until my throat is raw.
i want to never eat again.
i want to say good bye and mean it.
i want my body to fail me.
i want the blood to keep pouring.
i want the darkness to eat me alive.

pulling me further and further down.

i will be no more.

nothing.

gone.

if only […]

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What’s death like?

by just a guy
written by just a guy

I’ve been pondering this question since my time is near.  Of course no one knows for certain, but I think a certain blogger had the most likely description.

Time existed before you were born, other people lived and died before you were born, and other people will be born after you are dead.  One has no memory of anything before they were born (of course folks will claim to be someone in a past life, but people imagine all sorts of stuff).  Before you were born will be like it is after you die.  You won’t have any memories or consciousness that goes on.  In other […]

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Where I Am Now

by IWBF
written by IWBF

I have been on a journey now for a few years. A journey of self-discovery is the way I like to think of it now. I began on my path through tragedy. My initial methods for dealing with this were vast; anger, denial, suppression – the usual, I think. It was only after a second life-altering event that I began to heal properly. Again, not right away. I was led into a darker existence, but I believe it has led me through to a better place now. I gave up on trying to ignore the immensely negative thoughts I had been having all along. I […]

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Point?

by alone_in_a_sea_of_people
written by alone_in_a_sea_of_people

I am 26, male. Let me preface this by saying that I am relatively intelligent (B.S. Physics), relatively attractive, and from the outside, it appears that my life is going well. All is not well. I have struggled with depression for over a decade now and sometimes it feels like I am smart enough to out-think it, beat it, but it always comes back to haunt me.

I have thought of all the possibilities, I wish I could hand my life off to someone more deserving. I should be happy! I have a stable job, a great roommate, and vitality that […]

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i fell asleep……

by greatpretender
written by greatpretender

my friend took his own life on march 18, 2013. he gambled with his own life as he spun the cylinder to his prized .45 revolver, looked dead into his best friend’s eyes and pulled the trigger… he had a 1 in 6 chance of death and he took that- he left no warnings before hand… i dont think he thought it would go off…   but it did… and now he’s gone…….. he thought he had no one but his best friend- and even then, he knew he was gonna move in with his girlfriend and Robert would be homeless and living in his […]

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Death In Solitude

by Ichise8
written by Ichise8

“I don’t understand why we must do things in this world, why we must have friends and aspirations, hopes and dreams. Wouldn’t it be better to retreat to a faraway corner of the world, where all its noise and complications would be heard no more? Then we could renounce culture and ambitions; we would lose everything and gain nothing; for what is there to be gained from this world? There are people to whom gain is unimportant, who are hopelessly unhappy and lonely. We are so closed to one another! And yet, were we to be totally open to each other, reading into the depths […]

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sobriety is for quitters

by kristink
written by kristink

well it hasn’t been a whole day on a new dose and i have been naughty already. one is not supposed to drink alcohol while taking a certain anti-depressant that starts with a c. we went out to eat and i had a couple of drinks. interesting that my heart started hurting. like it was being squeezed or something. that was after2 drinks. guess i probably should not find out what a bender feels like. of course i was also indulging in other things as well. expecting me to embrace total sobriety is a waste of time. it is not likely to happen anytime soon. […]

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Anywhere but here.

by FakeSmilesRight
written by FakeSmilesRight

So I’m  14, I know too young to be feeling this way. But I have no confidence I cant stand looking in the mirror I hate myself. I’ve been breaking down a lot, nothing but crying this isn’t the first time but its never been this bad. I literally have been having suicidal thoughts everyday, its gotten to the point to where I almost started crying in school today. I barely started cutting again. I had stopped in like November-ish of last year I think. But its been awhile and I started up again like in April I think. I’ve written so many suicide letters its ridiculous. […]

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Feeling Lonely

by hopefuldreamer
written by hopefuldreamer

I feel extremely lonely and the worst part about it is that I don’t like getting to know people. I don’t know what’s wrong with me . I do talk to people but I don’t really open up about my problems and whenever I keep saying I need someone I feel like I’m annoying someone. I don’t think anything gets better

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My heart danced a little today

by DawgMom
written by DawgMom

So, the morning didn’t go too well but that’s a given these days so blah, blah. I went outside to mow the lawn. Christ, is was hot. I checked my mail first – the box was crammed full – I have no idea when I checked it last. So, I finally get to the backyard with my mowing and I am so dehydrated because, well, I think I’ve been forgetting to eat / drink and I think, ‘God, I could die. Yeah, oh, freaking please let me keel over from heatstroke’. No such luck but I did decide to get a Medical Alert Bracelet […]

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Sometimes you just don’t belong…(The hours)

by ChristinaRene
written by ChristinaRene

Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of these terrible times and I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices and can’t concentrate. So I’m doing what seems to be the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I know that I’m spoiling your life and without me you could work, and you will, I know. You see, I can’t even write this properly. What I want to say is that I owe all the happiness of my […]

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i just dont know

by bullied123
written by bullied123

I just dont know why i cant get the words out of my mind. I cant forget anything. I remember every single word or name i was called. I remember every punch. I still have the feeling of being terrified every day to do anything and being worried ill do it wrong and disappoint someone. My mind i slowly killing me and its winning. I cant fight for much longer. I hate more when i don’t know a answer to a question. i cant handle being so weak and stupid. I hate when anybody is disappointed in me. I hate me. I cry when […]

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Can’t take it anymore and can’t escape it.

by Akuin
written by Akuin

I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.

All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]

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