General

Is there anybody out there? a question I’ve been asking since I was 4 years old, I see shadows of what looks like people, I hear voices of what sounds like people and yet I see, I hear no one……no one to see me, no one to hear me, no one to feel me, I am today, a living ghost, a lost spirit and a soul in torment, my beautiful heart, shattered as pain runs through my veins 🙁 I can not live without my life, I can not live without my soul and yet…..I breathe, existing in my own private hell, in my abyss […]

Everyone is out there getting ready for my favorite party of the year… The one day that “you can be whoever you want to be”, I will be spending here, in front of this computer. I always loved fantasy and once had dreams the size of Jupiter. I believed in fairytales and miracles and that the sky was the only limit… Those were the times in which, even when it got dark and scary, I’d find the courage and strenght to continue on my quest to the other end of the rainbow. According to me, no matter what hand I had been dealt with in […]

I have had suicidal thoughts before but then i realized i am to arrogant to kill my self, no one cares about me so be it. i’ll earn for myself and lookout for myself and have a good time while i am at it. fuck the world (i’ll be doing the fucking).

do read this thread
http://boards.4chan.org/b/res/433149128

In the past few months I have suffered anxiety attacks,
self injured for the first time in almost a decade
broken up with the one i love,
lost my home,
moved in with my mother.

Things then looked like they were taking an up, my persistence was paying off,
I finally got a job after so long searching,
I got a new apartment, just for me
I was working things out with my beloved.

A week ago, that flame flickered out, In the space of 12 hours I broke up with my partner
the next morning when I awoke, I was having a miscarriage.
I’m […]

Just keep taking the pills .

The sides are half as bad ,

Curse or cure ?

Is it that bad my only options are to kill myself or blind myself?

Things just get worse ,

Only time will tell .

Chin up .

I’m about to tell you the last thing you want to hear. I’m eighteen. When I was 14 my best friend killed himself. My role model. The person I wanted to be just like. Me and his family have never recovered. Neither has anybody who loved him. At the time I’m guessing ( NOBODY will ever know ) that he thought he had nobody. Boy was he wrong. If only he saw what it did to his family. His friends. Me.
Please, I’m literally begging you. Please reconsider. I don’t care what you say, people would miss you. People would never recover. People would never […]

And the winner is: hanging.

Best options I have are to either hang myself or jump in front of a train. For fucks sake, isn’t Holland supposed to be a drug paradise? Why the fuck am I unable to get methadone. This is just so disapointing.

I asked my basically only friend to come over and smoke some weed with me last night. She didn’t want to come. Because she didnt agree with my “pathetic” lifestyle choices. Apparently being a lover of bdsm makes me less of a person.

One of my evil personalities is hoping she will feel guilty as fuck when she hears Im dead. The […]

I realized the other day that when suicide is the only thing on my mind and I am planning everything out, I become happy. Then I give life another go and instant depression. Its weird and annoying to be honest.

But I think the cause of this is a mental disorder (I think I’m bipolar). I haven’t been to a doctor to find out because they will push me on to some drug that I don’t want to go onto because I feel it makes me a fake person. Even if it helps, fuck that. From my experience when someone goes off their anti-depressants they get […]