General

i want to die.can anyone tell me plzzzz.

I first tried to kill myself when I was 8. No particular reason, I just felt like it. My parents punished me by taking away my mobile phone for a week -_-
12 years have passed and none of my family believe me still.
Doc put me on prozac a few months ago. Increased my dose. No change.
My Mum is the devil reincarnate. A psycho in her own nature. We’re all scared of her.
I love my boyfriend, I know I do – yet I just don’t feel anything for him at the moment.
I’ve had enough now.

Damn, I feel so heavy…so overwhelmed.  The weight of the world just sits on my weary shoulders.  A heaviness that seems to make every step unbearable.  My entire body aches.  A dark cloud hovers over my head and follows my every move.  A cloak of darkness surrounds me. I live in a world with no light. I am alone.  I call out to the universe…pleading for help.  No one hears me.  Tears constantly flow from my puffy eyes. I am consumed by dark thoughts.  These “dark” thoughts are the only thing that eases my pain anymore.  Suicide.  The thought of just going away.  But yet […]

Imaginary friends for treating loneliness = Unhealthy?

I HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS THAT HAS BEEN MY CONSTANT COMPANION. MY QUESTION IS, DOES HAVING A IMAGINARY FRIEND AS AN ADULT IS A GOOD MEANS TO COMBATE & FILL THE VOID OF LONELINESS SINCE REAL, PHYSICAL, IN PERSON HUMAN INTERACTIONS (FRIENDS) ARE VERY HARD TO COME BY FOR ME???

I had a classmate who became a really good friend this year, and I eventually trusted him enough to tell him about my depression and eventually my suicidal thoughts. I was going to kill myself on August 31st, but the day before, he and another friend showed up at my house and told my family. At first I was in shock that my family suddenly knew, and I didn’t feel mad at him, just betrayed. Fast forward to today and now I hate him and her. I’m doing my best to avoid any contact, but at the same time not arousing any suspicions since my […]

I have mostly been unable to maintain the most important relationships to me. My destructiveness has driven my closest friends away from me. I realize this has been true for all of my life.

I’ve always contemplated suicide. I was ready to commit suicide when I was a teenager in high school, but my older brother  committed suicide before me. I saw the pain my family members went through, and I felt I couldn’t ever do it. It’s been years since then. I was 16 at the time. I’m 22 now… I don’t feel too sorry about what happened to him. That’s a whole other story. […]

My roommates are gone, I am alone this weekend, I have the same pills in my car that old have killed me before had I not seen my crying mother. My Boyfriend has no idea I’m this screwed up, he tried calling me, I didn’t answer, what do you say when you’re forcing yourself to puke up your guts after eating a box of brownies. The Bulimia is back, damnit, why won’t Anna come back? I am so angry, I never asked to be saved from my eating disorder, I was so close to death, and my parents court ordered me to another hell treatment […]

Not going to say much….
Have been trying to cheat life for years now….
It is much harder to die than people might believe….
Given up on finding the reason for feeling the way I do….. Bipolar….
How do you fix something if you do not know what is broken????

Let me get back to the actual point I wanted to make….

Yes the old topic of “It is selfish” what about the people you leave behind…. Etc…..
I have come to this realisation sadly only after years of putting my loved ones through hell…
(Numerous attempts of suicide… Drugs… Accidents… too many to mention….)

I would rather […]

Hello everyone,

What a great forum I have stumbled upon. I just wanted to share my story with the only Sane people on earth. Thats right we who deplore living in this cesspool are the sane ones. The others that support the systems are the sick ones. So if any people could possibly understand my decision it might be you.

The clock is ticking until my fianances run out, and I will become homeless.  I am not depressed, actually very reflective. I have been alive on this hell hole for 38 years, and thats 38 years  too long. This place sucks, and its a slave planet. The worst […]

I’m thinking of doing it again anyway… another night of this. I was supposed to go out with my friend Em but she is ignoring my messages. She and Essie are probably at the party already. Why was I even looking forward to this? I hate being social – but I crave it. A duality that leaves me writhing and bitter and alone.

but when u end a 5month long distance relationship, being friends isnt much of a possibility:/ oh wel dont know why im sad over this i broke up with him cuz i already have another boyfriend…(one i can actually see everyday i wannaXD)
i may be someone else’s baby now but i still kinda wish i was yours…if only u’d forgive me…

i keep thinking if things were just different I wouldnt have to plot my own fall. but they’re not and if i cant change this the way i want i wont have it at all.
kill me now

Finding out the one person who finally keeps you cut free and possibly your first love is the person you could never be with. Like you make me feel better, but it’s the you that you show to me. Not the you, you really are. I find out that I don’t ever know you well, you lie, you keep things from me. How can I trust you fully? I hate situations like this.

He allowed me to look at his phone so I decided to check out his pics. I find picture of nude men and him in a womans wig + pics that look a […]

I still remember as a 4 year old girl standing in the mirror. I sucked in my stomach, and placed my hand there. I kept wondering how great it would feel to be like that. My father is the one to make me like that. Living with my father was hell, when he would come home my brothers and I hid somewhere, we knew he was drunk or high. Eventually he would find one of us, and abuse us. I was placed in boxing so I could defend myself, he would have me run miles and miles, if I puked he made me keep going. […]

I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I know that there are some people out there who genuinely care for me, but most don’t.  I live in a small minded world full of shallow people. I don’t want to be part of it.  In six days I leave on a trip that is supposed to last four days. What everyone doesn’t know: I’m not coming back. I hope I can go through with it. I’ve been planning it for two months. I am tired of living and seeing all of these happy faces. I have tried to reach out… make human contact… something, anything. […]

I am empty……..I would rather have sadness then empty………is there a way to fill it

please dont say anything dirty

But exactly what do i have to live for?

The demons have me now

I am surround by people- but I am alone. My eyes search for a light in one of these faces, my heart loses hope, no one knows. Why would they care anyway?

The demons have me now

I come home and beg God to let me die. If there is a God then why am I not saved yet or even better- why am i not dead yet? They say God put me here for a reason, but what is that reason? I’d sure like to know.

The demons have me now

I was searching for God […]