General

I put up a front everyday for the people around me. It really is exhausting to pretend you’re happy. Everyday when I get home, luckily it’s mostly to an empty home, my roommates are rarely around, I break down and cry and cry. I just want everything to end. I just wish someone would just kill me.

…in words, God, & people.

I am a 30 year old guy who has been sober from drugs and alcohol for 4 years. Back when I was drinking I lost my fiance because I cheated on her and then left her because I thought I could never forgive myself even though she forgave me. While staying sober I got hooked on tattoos, buying cars, and other crazy spending. I put myself in debt and have full sleeve tattoos now. I regret them so much even though they have to do with recovery and my faith in God. I feel like people are judging me […]

I’ll try this again:

This is not about debating religion.  This is about religion’s direct sociological and psychological pressures that result in suicide and a host of other “retaliations”.

The main purpose of religion is to oppress the masses and extract goods or labor from them to supply the ones at the top of the “social pyramid” example: the Pharaohs, Shamans, Kings, Priests, Reverends, Dictators, Presidents, etc.

In ancient religions, the gods they worshiped example: Amun Ra, Zeus, etc., displayed very primitive human traits. They were known to be violently inhumane and incredibly unfair at times. The gods practiced behavior similar to what a baby might grow up […]

hello again. for this post, i felt like sharing these amazing two music videos both by the famous rapper eminem. I hope this can cheer up the mood for everyone, though the first may feel a bit harsh on language.

I really felt this one encouraging cause eminem actaully cared so much about his fans, that he made a song on some1 who was very passionate about being like eminem and admiring him a lot too. it shows how a fan becomes extremely upsess with his role model, try to act and think like eminem, when really he was a whole different […]

Sitting in the hallway crying probally gonna cry myself to sleep thinking maybe tommorow she won’t call me names again? Make me feel like I’m nothing i don’t if I’m just feeling sorry for myself or if there is something wrong with me i try my best and I’m only 15 when I do something wrong she says you should know by now or calls me a stupid **** I want tell how I feel but I don’t because when I do she makes it out to be my fault or at least I think she dose everyone might think I just a girl […]

I’m tired of being lonely.

I continually compare my life to others. I feel like my life is pointless and I have nothing going for me.

I have days where I feel like things aren’t so bad and I have to hold on and be strong, then there are days where I so desperately feel the need to end it all.

I really don’t know what to do anymore 🙁

I’ll be doing a mindless task, walking for example, and it will just hit me. Collide with me. I’ll remember a moment. Nothing even has to trigger it. It will just burst from my memory and lay before my eyes. There’s so many to choose from that there are plenty of things to trigger it though. Maybe I’ll walk past a cinema and I’ll remember the time we held hands watching a movie. Maybe I’ll hear a word and it’ll remind me of a conversation we had in which he used that word. Stupid.

Every time he finds someone new to confess his love to it […]

Open ear

Free Hugs here feel free to line up to get your free one. 🙂

well im at that point where im havin trouble wanting to continue with this life ive thought about suicide before but never acted on it then i tried suicide by cop and that scared the shit out of me so i didnt follow through but i did get arrested and now things are really in the tubes and i have only one real option is to pull the trigger but im having troubl mustering up the courage to go through with it i know there wont be any pain ive planned how to do it i just cant pull the trigger any helpfull tips or […]

It really sucks. I can spend my time playing video games or watching TV or anything like that. The pain won’t be there. As soon as I have a free moment, it comes flooding back in. I’ve found something that helps though. It just isn’t a solution I want to be true. It makes me feel better while we are talking, but I still feel the pain. The pain definitely is still there even though I feel good at the same time. The only difference is that I don’t feel the pain when we aren’t talking. My life is relatively happy now. If I go days […]

I have a seriously sick mind, I am so fucking glad mind reading isnt real! I am not a bad person though, because I might think fucked up things but that doesn’t mean I would ever do them.

I’m trying to just be. I’m trying to let my mind relax and let myself be happy. Only, I’m finding it really difficult. My mind is constantly busy with thoughts of loneliness and suicide. I’ve been through so many emotions today. I feel like I’m going mad.

Every day that I’m here is another day that I worry about. I cannot focus on anything other than the past and I hate it. I am so lost. All I really want if for someone to make my life bearable–someone who can take my mind off the things that don’t really matter.

I just want to be cared for. […]

I use to shiver at the thought of cutting myself, but your words cut right into me, sharper than a blade, I would know, because I’ve felt the blade pierce my skin, but it was all numb. Where was the hurt I should feel as I watched the blood drip down my arm. Worthless. I may be numb on the outside, but the inside is constant pain, when will it stop. I stare in tears as I watch drops of worthlessness drain from my body. Until there is nothing more to drop.

You know I don’t know if I consider myself necessarily suicidal so some of you may think that I’m misusing this website, but I am just so tired. So god damn tired of everything. I’m tired of being strong and putting a smile on my face when I don’t want to, I’m tired of being called a “cold *****” even if it is a joke. I just wish (and i know it is a long shot) but I wish my parents loved each other as much as they love me. They fight and he throws things at her and stomps out of the house and […]