General

this is my first post , i do not know if i am doing this the right way. i was kind of looking for a prosuicide site and found out that there aren’t any! or that i could not find it. i find myself begging to god to please kill me, i know that i am not going to kill myself soon. i do not know why. i just see the future as a huge load of misery and i really don’t want to go on. i am sixteen and nowone around me understands or cares. my friends don’t take it seriously and just think […]

i feel like dying but its not worth it. i have been through a lot such as…sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by my parents. Anyway Jesus will never put more on you than you can bare, and besides he died for us and he went through a lot and did not give up, so why should we give up? I have been in foster care for four years, and it is not good to me. I am always going to one house after another, i have been in like 15 placements… plus hospitals. Anyway just KEEP TRYING!!

Im Dammed if i do. I’m Dammed if i don’t.
As darkness look’s at me. For i walk in to the night.
For my soul can not be saved. As i walk in to the moon light. Forever my soul sleep.
It feel’s there is no escaping for me. The curse of the moon is with me. Darkness walk’s with me. The sun can’t shine down here. Where i’m at.

I was a philosophy major in college. I was really good at it. I thought it would help me see the big picture as I worked through life, and I wouldn’t get so bogged down in the little things. That was a silly thing to think. Humans are creatures capable of a great deal more than other organisms, but we are still organisms in an environment. We have to work to meet certain needs for ourselves. We are social animals. We need to feel loved and useful. No matter how well-trained you think your mind is, despair will always creep in if you don’t remember […]

Can You imagine, yesterday i saved 16 people, but today seems like nobody can help me. Feels like i give up. I have lots of money problems and i feel so weak and tired, that keeping alive just coz of people who loves me, even they cant help me.

Im in a bottom. No more power. Exhausted. Can’t fight. Can’t die. Can’t stand up. But also can’t give up.

Closing my eyes and going through it blinded.

Blinded to see the world, truth or dreams.

My religion also obliges me into this blindness. If i will fuck up everything here i will come back to this shit on next […]

A chance has presented itself

this maybe my last chance to say goodbye to the world

I haven’t been here long but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone since many people here have similar experiences with me

I guess I’ll opt out first 😀

See you guys when I see you again

Quote from this thing i wrote about my beliefs on my computer:

‘Sometimes i’m wondering though, if this is all just an alien experiment and everyone else is in on it and i’m the only ‘human’ here. Maybe i created this world with my mind and it’s all in my head, maybe i’ll find out when i’m dead.’

Goodbye

Anyone get the hint?

They say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But what if your problem isn’t temporary? What if you have depression or an illness or whatever for years and it will never ever go away?

Beautiful but far away.∑>

So this time ive really done it. I got caught smoking weed in my dorm. Before everyone jumps on me, i really thought i could get away with it since i was the only damn person on my floor over break. My dad keeps saying that with all the other troubles in my life he would disown me if i fucking screwed up again. I spent almost 1400 dollars in 4 months on weed and was caught by my parents. Even though it was my money they were seriously disappointed. Now im getting kicked out of my dorm, getting bad grades, and was just about […]

I doubt any of you read or remember my previous posts…it’s been awhile.So in short…just to recap…last yr i found myself a 40 yr old virgin who had never even been on a date and was convinced that i would die alone. All i wanted was to end my suffering…i was at my breaking point and just wanted my life to end.I felt i need to voice my feelings and since i didn’t have anyone to talk to i went online and found this website and so i told my story not thinking anything would come of it, just needed to get it off my […]

Dear Father,

I feel hopeless, helpless, worthless. I have jeopardized my life, and most likely hurt others in the process. You know my sins quite well, and you also know my regret. I am lost. I though I was fine by myself. I though I was self sufficient and didn’t need you. I let myself fall to complete shame. I became vulnerable to the Devil’s sins.

Father, you know that I let my moral character be destroyed. I let my moral fiber to be taken. My narcissistic, and hedonistic behavior clouded my judgment. It is bad to let yourself indulge every whim. Such pleasures are temporal, and […]

I want to be happy, this is true,
But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
Ive tried everything in the book,
Maybe if they took a second look,
theyd realize im at my lowest point
Even when I smoke a joint.
Even when I pop the pills,
Even when I can pay the bills.
Every object I see can be
The thing that kills me, sets me free
Does everyone else think this way?
Do they think about it every day?
Do they research easy ways to die?
Do they sit in their room all day and cry?
Do they feel like there is never hope?
Is anyone else in the same boat?
I feel so alone, have no […]

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this, I guess because I feel completely alone and this pain is making me physically and mentally sick. Maybe I should start from the beginning, I can’t remember a time when I never felt sad. My childhood was really traumatizing, My father and Mother both have mental illnesses. They divorced when I was young and my father then died when I was 14. I remember having suicidal thoughts when I was 12, and I’ve had them ever since then. At the age of 18 I feel like a old person, everything makes me tired! I mean everything. I […]

First of all, this is NOT an advertisement for a suicide partner. I would much rather die alone. Before I came to this site, I had never really heard of getting a random suicide partner. So, for those of you who want one, why? I’m not trying to be judgmental at all…to each his own. I am just trying to understand.