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I guess I’m a Suicide Survivor

May 15th, 2008by Brooke

OK so I’m “Brooke” and I am 16 years old, 17 in September. I come from a very wealthy and affluent family and I seem to have it all. Yet deep down inside I am absolutely insane and dark. I’m not afraid to show people this side of me but I know If I were to show people this side of me I would be completely misunderstood and I would rather not have people try to understand me. It’s a natural human characteristic to over analyze situations and ask the question “why.” Sometimes there just isn’t a “why” for things. I would just rather have …

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Getting Help is a bad idea

May 14th, 2008by gemblon

Everybody says, “If you think about committing suicide, you should get help.” ::: so i am thinking, if you want help, ya, get help. or walk into a hospital, and ask for some pills so you can get some pills and a 3 day lockdown. but, really, you don’t want to commit suicide. you just want life to change.

a person that really ants to commit suicide, would never, ever, tell anybody. when they are ready, they do it.

if you tell somebody, that you are thinking of suicide, they will never have the same opinion of you …

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May 14th, 2008by anapurna

I can’t write about it.
A problem has grown into a mountain.
I feel hurt and have no one I can share this feeling with.
Why am I here and what is my purpose in life?
I have failed and failed and failed agin.
How can I tell someone what I truly feel,
when the world around me has such a different picture of me.

Once I was called, I felt I made a difference
and now it looks so bleak
I feel abused – I feel used

My Lord, my God
I need you more than life itself
you are all I need – you are my sustainer
even in my darkest hour I know you …

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May 14th, 2008by Survivor

Today happens to be my 34th birthday. I have been a survivor of debilitating depression since I was 19. I have forgotten the person I was. After 14 years of severe depression and all of the questions all of the odd looks all of the hopelessness and pain. All of those wasted years and potential. I am starting to feel better. Dr.s seemed to always give me a drug of limited effect in an insufficient dose and left me out to pasture. Higher doses of prescription drugs are what is helping me.
How the heck do I know how normal I should feel now after …

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What is Life?

May 13th, 2008by miss-understood13

Life . . . What is it?

Your born kicking and screaming into a world that might not always accept you.

Icolation confinds me to my own persoanal buble.

What is the purpose of life?

Does anyone truly know?

What are you supposed to do with the time given to you?

What if the time isnt enough?

Its a constant ticking at the back of my mind.

You could die today… One second walking down the street, next? Hit by a car, lying bloody on the side walk. People running and crying, friends you never had saying, “She was so young…”


Those are my constant thoughts.

I dont know if anyone else shares …

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How much of a bother…

May 11th, 2008by Reeshi

does someone have to be before the world would be better off with out them?

I have five friends. I love them; I would do anything I could to make them happy. I feel this isn’t enough, however. My flawed personality and value isn’t worthy of these people – and they’re aware of it. They have to be. That’s how I feel, anyways.
After all, these are all great people. My friends are kind, funny, smart…

I am insecure, with my friends – I believe that because I am so flawed, I will eventually screw everything up, they will leave and never talk to me again. When they …

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So Very Tired

May 10th, 2008by TiredOne

I’m not planning anything right now, just longing for rest and peace from this weary old life. I’m worn out–mentally, physically, emotionally. My brain and endocrine system are broken down, and it’s hard as hell to get any help. And it’s lonely because so few people know what it’s like to be so deeply exhausted and weary.

On my best days, I can put on a smile and can almost care about what’s going on around me. On those days, when I get out around people, I look and act pretty normal. That makes it all the harder for people to understand how little life …

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When Will I Feel Good Again? Where Did I Go Wrong?

May 10th, 2008by DyingInside

Basically My Life Story, Reasons For Being Suicidal.

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Hard to describe

May 9th, 2008by daerp

I notice that another writer is only 13. I am 60 years old (more than 4 times your age) and have been suicidal in various levels of intensity for the past 3.5 years. Lately I came finally to the realization that I am a jumper. I want to climb a 50 storey building (near our home) which is still under construction. I want to break through late night security. I want to climb all the way to the top. I can feel the air, and I can see the security lights on throughout the as yet unopened building. The smell of wet concrete. The air …

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Will it ever end?

May 9th, 2008by monica

I’ve been considering suicide for some time now. Three years to be exact. And the fact that I’m thirteen years old is what scares me the most. I’ve been depressed for so long and im tired of being tired! (in other words, im always about to fall asleep even if i just slept for 20 hours) I took therapy for a while, but then my family couldn’t afford it. My family doesn’t know that I still want to end my life. Basically, I feel like a loser and no one gives a damn about me. Literally, I think the world …

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When you know you are ready

May 8th, 2008by gemblon

When you wake up each day, and realize, you don’t want to go through the day.
When you realize, all the wonderful concepts you learned as a child, are wrong.
When you realize the world really is an ugly place, full of people getting what they can.
When you realize you had no training for picking a good mate. So you picked the prettiest.
You paid for picking the prettiest, the rest of your life.
That another man will be raising your kids.
People worship money.

Our stars are jerks. Even Barbara Walters dates married men. And brags about it. She should be shunned. Instead, they all …

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I am trying to get help, it just takes so long

May 7th, 2008by plantfood

The light blue on white letters make it very hard to even read the page you land on. I have a very low tolerance for frustration right now.

I have been trying to get help. Really, I have been trying so hard, trying to stay alive. Intellectually, I know my family loves me, my friends care, life can be good. But I’ve been in emotional pain so long and every where I turn there’s another road block, something else beating me down. I can’t work right now, I’m on social assistance, and I’m trying to get my meds changed so I can get my life back. …

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May 6th, 2008by hippiemom004

Iwake up every morning and thank god that im alive, and today wasn’t any different. so tell me what went wrong? im 37 years old, mother of 4, i have a grandaughter that’s 2, her mother is due in june with another girl, and all i want to do is end it all. my kids are 22(with a 2 yo and another 1 on the way), 18 yo son, 17 yo daughter and a 16 yo daughter. they all hate me. i’ve been in a loveless marriage from my husband for almost 21 years now. i really didnt think that i was that bad …

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May 4th, 2008by TheNextProphet?

I have OCD. I HATE IT!

Because of this I don’t “hang out” or have any real friends, so I spend most of my time by myself. I try to make friends but it is just awkward and people just accuse me of following them and tell me to go away. I’m just socially clueless. I try to fit in but then get made fun of for overdoing everything that EVERYBODY EXPECTED FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE! How do I please you people? I go on and on about my obsessions and other OCD-related crap. I just don’t …

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Blah blah blah

May 4th, 2008by Jan

Does anybody really read these things?

I feel like I’ve come to the end of my life. I’m 43. I have four kids. Every reason to stay alive.

How did I get here? They tell me it’s because of bipolar disorder. I’m sure I do have it, but that doesn’t change the way I feel today or why I don’t want to go on living.

I had a normal childhood. Maybe I didn’t get the nurturing I could have. Hell, my parents were just kids themselves. When I was 14 I wanted to die (I’m not sure exactly why), so …

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Still Can’t Believe It Ended Like This

May 4th, 2008by TheNextProphet?

I have written here before in an entry called Lowest.

When my school fell apart, I switched to a Christian school for sixth grade which I thought would be a great experience because I had a few friends there. I had no idea what I was in for. I had been picked on a little before for my OCD tendencies but not much afterwards, but I always knew I was different. I was tortured my first few months of sixth grade but eventually people left me alone. I managed to make myself a little less different. However, two of the tormentors …

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My Life

May 3rd, 2008by Grey

I recall from my younger years faking suicide. My parents would be gone from home, and when they’d return, I’d see them coming up the driveway. I’d quickly spread ketchup on myself and the kitchen floor, and lay on a knife. Now, as an adult, I realize I craved attention, to feel needed and loved, while at the same time trying to show my family what they would be missing if I wasn’t around – hoping that something like this would give them the motivation to give me what I craved.

I quit a job because I wanted more time to spend with …

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“The Sun Also Rises”

May 2nd, 2008by Trinity

Life hasn’t always been so depressing for me, I used to be a very outgoing, really funny child, and happy person. I had really great friends and a close family back then. People understood me, and I understood people. Things have changed though…my life has taken a turn for the worst, and I am completely out of control of it.

I really wish there was no such thing as disease and suffering. I’m sick of suffering from this horrible disease, no one understands me or what I’m going through, I just can’t take the pain anymore….

Evolution is a cruel but beautiful process which creates …

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May 2nd, 2008by Trinity

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Ill be you crying shoulder

May 2nd, 2008by wilkie

    im a kid whos gone through alot of stuff in his life and up until a couple years i was considerd normal and then all of a sudden everyone of my so called “friends” just abbandend me

    I dont know why and someplace i dont wanna know. Now i didnt know why i stared but i just started cutting and at first just to see what it was like and as time went on it became a habbit and a copping thing for me.

    And well a couple months ago i was gonna commit suicide, i had everything planned out from the time to

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