General

For general topics related to the site.

1

Life can be cruel, damn cruel

August 27th, 2009by therealnickz

I don’t know why I came to this website, other than to get all of my suicidal thoughts out. I have struggled with depression for a while, but lately I have felt more suicidal than depressed. I’m going to the local community college in my town. I can’t put this into words right now. Every day I’m there I feel these intense feelings come over me. I feel alone. I know I am alone, even though there are plenty of people around me. The sunshine doesn’t make me happy at all. In fact, it makes me angry and upset because the heat is so unbearable. I’m …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

time

August 27th, 2009by emily25

a serge to connect rushes through me
a time bomb with no clock showing
chains holding me down
my lips locked together
my heart trying to jump away from me too
my hand just out of reach for a loaded gun
out of reach like everything else in life
leave me with the waste
it’s the wrong time to be so cruel
i’ll just die here slowly
it’s ok though because i can’t eat anything
too weak to struggling anymore
let me die here slowely like i always thought i would
leave me with more of nothing
please
please
please

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

I cant take it anymore

August 27th, 2009by anonysuicide3

Im crying while im writing this, i dont value my life anymore, nobody likes me i feel all alone by myself and even if i try i always fail at everything, i’ve heard that im horrible and stupid and all kinds of bad things that you can imagine, i just have one single true friend and a couple more that i just feel that i cant trust, i never had a girlfriend neither i kissed anyone, i feel like im too young for suicide but i just cant take it anymore, i feel like an empty in my heart, that theres a growing pain inside …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Endless Future

August 27th, 2009by Thexter

I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.

I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?

If that is true …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

so very tired

August 26th, 2009by nowamfound

just can’t take this pain, just want it to be over , just wish I could find the cojones to do it.  just can’t stop crying just can’t sleep just don’t wnat to leave my house, just so filled with self loathing, just so damn pathetic

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Just one more good story

August 26th, 2009by Sideblinder

This will be my first post here. Hello.

A couple years ago I attempted to overdose on sleeping pills.  I was on anti-depressants that I had been taking irregularly because I had just moved into a new, very tiny, apartment with my new girlfriend.  We had been together for a little under a year.  In addition to anti-depressants I had some perscription sleep meds, and one night after weeks and weeks of worsening depression, I decided I would take them all.

I sat on the bathroom floor for an hour, and just stared at the walls.  After that I went outside and stared at the sky for …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Crazy.

August 25th, 2009by courtney.

I know I’m going to end up doing it one day. I always find a reason to wait, seems the longer I wait the more crazy I become. I feel completely fucked in the head. Always having internal battles with myself. Feeling so happy and normal one day to going into a comatose state the next day. If anything I wish I could just be numb.neutral.

Anything but crazy.

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Why suffer?

August 24th, 2009by beautiful_disastor_

I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. I went through the chemotherepy, and i stopped responding to treatments. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t wanna go through anything like that anymore. The doctors started me out on a new experimental medication, and i was on that for 3 months. Turns out, the medicine didnt help me at all, it actually sped up the spreading of my cancer, and now, i only have like a month left.

Everything is going downhill for me, and I have nothing to live for. I want to die so bad, I hate the pain im …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

i dont know why

August 23rd, 2009by sunset_rain

i dont know why but i feel like my world is crashing. my days started to brighten until a few days ago for some reason. The only person that i can talk to about it is my boyfriend. whenever i have the urge i can talk to him and he’ll talk me through it and make me feel better,but now hes gonna be gone for a week because his mom is  going to California. I have tried taking an overdose before and it never worked,and my boyfriend helped me quit that,and is trying to help me stop cutting,but it has been a slow process. it …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

some place else

August 22nd, 2009by emily25

Not that I want to be dead, really. I want to be saved. Loved, maybe? Not feel completely alone on this earth. I know there is people off much worse than I, which makes me feel guilty about the way I look at my own life. People without anything really. I have a pretty good job and my family hasn’t completely fallen apart. Slowly it’s fading, but then again, what doesn’t? My “best friend” refuses to talk to me anymore. It’s been a really long time. I don’t think she will forget about anything and I don’t think she will be my friend again even

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I hate myself sooo much!!!!!

August 22nd, 2009by kiwigirl41

Hi,

I am feeling quite depressed atm.  I am under a mental health team and have a keyworker and a CSW(community support worker) the latter whom I had a falling out with a few weeks ago.  I feel as though I am being pressured into just putting up with her demeaning  and negative attitude towards me so that I will “keep the peace” between service providers.  I grew up in an abusive household and was also bullied at school, home and then at work, where I remained putting up with insults about my weight, etc for most of the 15 years I worked…… I have tried …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

” You think you want to die, but in reality you just want to be saved. “

August 22nd, 2009by attachbutnevercombined

Yes, I am up at 3 am, on a suicide blog, trying to make sense of ANYTHING that is going through my head. I feel completely lost, and emotionless every single day. I’m writing this because I’m afraid. Really really afraid. I finally graduated highschool this year. I anticipatingly dragged myself through my last year hoping with every thing that I had that somehow I would be free from everything once I got out of that place.

I became friends with a girl who was loud, and really didnt have any morals. All my friends hated her. I thought she was simply amazing. She listened to …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

August 22nd, 2009by helper

im scared

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Newby

August 22nd, 2009by Death by Boredom

So never done this before but fuck it, the spelling and the grammer too. Grew up the oldest of six. Mom probably never wanted me and don’t remember many memories of Dad except for them fighting and all of the unhappiness. Felt like a daddys girl but whatever. Went to church alot when I was a preteen and yes, i still believe in God. Good girl until about 14, started hanging out with loners and troubled kids because I was so insecure that the other kids didnt like me. Always insecure, thats me. Mom and Dad divorced around 10 and mom remarried to a verbally …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

lost/trapt

August 21st, 2009by emily25

i feel so lost. my mind is lost in memories of him. im trying to lock my tears inside like my shattered heart. i cant seem to find anything good anymore. i smile but it isnt the same as it once was. it isnt real. it isnt me. i dont know who i am anymore. i still have my life i am just treating it different(as someone told me). i dont want to treat it this way. full of anger, hatred, sadness, envy and tears. i want the friends i had. but i burn everything that is anything to me. i run to the wrong …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

August 21st, 2009by mugs

I don”t know what to write. There must be something wrong with me. No one ever stays with me, I try to be nice to people, but for some reason they just hurt me. I don’t want to write anything now. I think i will just take a sleeping pill and go back to bed. I wish I could sleep forever.

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Why do I even try?

August 20th, 2009by broken_julie

I don’t want to feel pain anymore. The last year of my life has just been spiraling down into oblivion. I lost my job and now work part-time at a grocery store. I make less than half the amount I used to at my previous job. Because of this job, I am in constant physical pain and have thrown my back out more times than I care to mention. I keep applying to jobs and come in as a finalist for those positions, but never make it as the chosen one. My live-in boyfriend of almost 4 years has a tumor in his brain, no …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Life

August 20th, 2009by Looney

Good evening to all my fellow suiciders and i hope that everything is at your liking.  Times may get a little rough and may cause you to fall short of being victorious but don’t let something as small break someone so big.  Everyone has a special purpose and meaning in life, we all just have to try and solve the mystery before giving up and calling it what it is.  Times may be tough and there are no promises that are promised to you, so don’t wait around thinking that suicide would resolve your issues and cause people to care even more.  Instead write down …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Louder

August 20th, 2009by mffarrow

Tonight during dinner with my friends I left the table and walked away.  I left my wallet, keys, and mobile phone behind.  None of us realised that I wasn’t coming back.  I don’t know where I went, exactly, but somehow I ended up at home.  I must have broken in.

Why did I leave? Where did I go?  When I woke up, my hands were dirty, and there were scratches on my arm.  There was a knife stuck in the mattress next to me, but no blood.

My brain wants me dead, and I am scared.

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

regressing

August 19th, 2009by helper

Hey guys, been off this site for awhile, i was actually pretty proud of myself, been over 2 months since i have self hurt, or contemplated suicide. that was quickly overturned a few days ago, when i learned i was going to a school, a school that contains a girl that used and abused me. she was supposed to be my best friend, and be there for me, i hadn’t had friends in so long, or really ever for that matter, and she was there for me, hung out with me, and made me feel good. but in all this joy, there were tiny red flags that …

Processing your request, Please wait....