General

Last night I began to throw away all of my personal belonging.  I hardly looked at them because I didn’t want to linger in any memories or meanings they might have had… and they all did. I threw away some CD’s, birthday and valentine cards. It’s strange, actually going through with what I planned out. I don’t want to leave any trace that I was ever there. I don’t want my family to go through my things and be sad. They shouldn’t. If they knew all the bad things I did, they wouldn’t cry. I’m sick of trying to redeem myself, because for me, if […]

Well… From the outside I have it all together. Good job nice home family n all. But I’m miserable. I don’t have a long list of deep. Traumatic events. I just generally have a disgust for life. I’ve made attempts. Tried a gun chickened out. Strangle by tying a rope tight around my neck. Was discovered. Od on painkillers. Slit my wrist. Went to a psych ward for that. The doc asked if I was serious about suicide. I said if I was serious I wouldn’t slit my wrist I’d cut my hands off. I was released and refered to a counseling service that was […]

I have tried to focus on the positive. Tried talking to someone. I feel like I’m just going through the motions and nothing is working anymore. I have felt suicidal for a large portion of my life. I was hospitalized in May and tried to kill myself in my hospital room. I just want to hang myself or slit my wrists. Or overdose on my meds. I feel so alone and I just can’t do this anymore. My family doesn’t understand. Nobody does.

I don’t want to tell my therapist because I don’t want to be in the hospital again. It scares my friends, but I […]

Guys, I”m getting really worried. I’m completely alone for the next 2 weeks. I’m feeling like the one person I feel any kind of connection with is about to walk away from me. Anyone in the mmod to talk to me? If you had skype that would be great because this site doesn’t work too well for me.

hi im 16 and i tried to commit suiside last night,my brother and mother were gone to the city and i was alone in the house.

all that day in school i was feeling pretty low,im in my second last year at (high)school and i was listening to my sad music on my phone as i walked home from the bus stop.i entered my cold dark empty house with no one there accept my two dogs,i went up to my room and cried a bit in frustration at this life i didn’t seem important and totally pointless.i always keep a razor blade in a little box in my dresser,took it […]

Feeling unreasonably anxious for no apparent reason. All i did today was watch Breaking dawn. I spent the day with my sister. Nothing to fuss over. So what the hell is this? I just want to be alone…. She is going to spend the next couple of weeks on the couch in my room, since she’s just visiting. Maybe I’m just too much of a lone wolf. But freaking out the third (? counts… fourth/fifth?) day? It’s not like this is my room either, really… It was supposed to be mom’s study. I’m interfering, and i shouldn’t be noticed, i shouldn’t be a bother. […]

I hate it more than anything else in the world. I’m so fucking angry right now.

someone please help me.. i need someone to talk to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH4s0XaNyak&list=LLuFm-KvVjwrUTPYni50dMcA&feature=mh_lolz

Do Animals Commit Suicide ?  Interesting read.

maybe that’s good thing when i go and sign the paper work and have to face the man who raped me and my first born who was told I don’t want him or love him

Is there anybody on this site who has been raped? I want to talk to someone.

Is it bad that the first thing I do when I get home from school every day is pop open a beer?

Is it bad that I smoke weed once a week?

Is it bad that every-night I cut myself?

Is it bad that I cry for hours every day?

Is it bad that I dream of death?

Is it bad that I am never happy?

Is it bad that I regret everything I do?

Is it bad that I want to kill myself?

Its Kinda weird how, even when you know its gonna be a fairly good day you still wish to die.

I know that at anytime I could just let it go, for the simple reason of not caring but, i cannot die today.

I hate how people think that you are to afraid to kill yourself so they just torment you about it god. Im not afraid Im just planning, very precisely planning. how it will happen how i will do it. It will be great. I want to go out with style. With Grace.

I hope this train fucking crashes and I burn.

Life is very interesting. When it seems that i got up from shit – bang! New challenges!
I bought tickets to Italy. Spent adorable days there with my bf, sister, friends. Sister is that only one who really cared about me all my life. I trust her 1000%.
Of course, good things never last forever. I landed to my cold dark country. Was missing  my job so much.. Couldn’t wait!
And bang ! Got sick. Well, thought i can miss it a week more.
Bang bang! two more diseases!
Bang bang bang!!! Bank blocked my bank account! So now im laying all alone here, can’t […]

So it was my 21st birthday.  At least I can now buy all the alcohol I want/need.  We went to the only club that played industrial music on a wednesday night.  It was a nice place, K___ would have loved it.  But no one talked to me.  Of course, maybe hanging out with people several decades older than you doesn’t really help.  But still, I was totally hoping to get laid.

Of course, I’m not sure if my desire to get laid is mostly out of desire for sex or simply desire for any kind of social interaction.  I find myself wishing that my pet rat […]