General

It was a month yesterday since I last saw or heard from my ex. I have been in bad shape mentally and emotionally since. My thoughts are erratic and it’s just difficult to function when the future I thought I had with this guy left when he did. I have family and people saying the usual things like, get over him, it’s time to stop crying, consider it a new beginning, blah, blah, blah. No one actually realizes how much damage this has done to me. I’ve got no friends, lost them while I was with him. I’ve tried pen pal sites, social networking sites, […]

Last night i called my friend and we were talking and i was saying how i didn’t wanna mess up for tomorrow and she read me a bible verse about starting over every day …….

“Don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring its own worries”

(or something like that)

But anyways I thought well OK maybe that’s true, So i stopped worrying yesterday and did what i wanted and now I’m stuck with the consequences, I’m hungover and i have like 15 new cuts on my legs. They hurt so bad i cant really walk and now i realize, and i will keep realizing until they heal, […]

I’ve been diagnosed with psychosis.
People are constantly trying  to help me, but nothing seems to help.
I’m sick of all the pain I’ve had.
But every time i try to end it, I keep waking up afterwards.

I’ts like God saying; i’ts not your time yet.
But I want it to be…

The kind that’s numbing, the kind that puts you in a perpetual fog and makes you want to sleep all day.

I’ve been depressed for the past five years. Lately I’ve been feeling okay most of the time, but then there are moments of weaknesses when I’m alone, when I’m overwhelmed by the futility of it all. When thoughts of suicide arrive, I’m not even surprised anymore. I’m a senior in high school and I keep feeling like I’m on the verge of fucking up whatever chance I have at a future, but the thing is, I can’t see myself living past twenty; I don’t […]

I want to die.
Small things in life hurt me a lot.
I’ve cut myself manier times.
Hurt myself a lot.
I’ve tried to survive.
Tried trusting people and find help.
But everytime, i’ve faced trustbreak.
M fed up of everything.
Hope to die soon.

so ill be straight forward with u, im a cutter. i wear emo cloths. and i took a depressed quiz. i answered all of then with the full truth and when the 20 question was done i got a 62%. which mean im severe depressed >:( wow just when i though things couldnt get worse. and im only 15….. this sucks. i wanna die!!!!

I have set a goal date for my exit-I dont want to share it at this time-but its the anniversary of something meaningful only to me. I would like to try to hang on for that date,but as life looks bleaker,may not be able to.

The other day i was thinking about my decision,and all of the sudden, I felt this sense of calm-almost euphoria-come over me. Its like someone was saying,”It’s OK. You dont have to be here anymore.”

(No,I wasn’t hearing REAL voices-not schitzophrenic:)

But has anyone else felt this way?? I try to envision the future,alive,but each day brings more and more pain,rejection,and ridicule.It makes […]

31 years and nothing has improved.

lot of People thank of leaving a suicide note if take tear life but what about a suicide video telling family you committed suicide

My fiance left me a month ago after a 10 year relationship. Now everything wasn’t wine and roses for us, but there wasn’t anything that couldn’t have been worked on or worked out, at least in my opinion. Obviously he didn’t feel the same or he never would have left. I always thought if nothing else though, we were at least best friends…WRONG AGAIN!
We had been having some problems over his ongoing porn addiction, which always leaned towards teen porn. He knew it hurt me, yet he continued to go behind my back and look at it. I’m no prude and had been […]

Just wondering. There seems to be alot of younger people here that are depressed and no body is using hard drugs to escape life.

Well, those of you have been following (…yeah right) know my wish was to try and force myself to plan before November 15th, disappear into an endless expanse some time later and be completely gone before December kicked in.

Circumstances have…forced my hand otherwise for now. I will go live in Paris with a friend for the moment. Paris, my personal hell. Grey city of grey people, dead-eyed bureaucrats and thieves scuttling about like diseased worms under the vacuous light of their multi-storied totems of greed and grime. There is no outdoors there just the cage. Ugh I know suck as a writer but just thinking […]

Im reading this book call Parrotfish. Its about this girl who thought that all her life that she is really a boy. She cut her own hair and brought all boys clothes from goodwill. Now her new name is Grady and her mother, sister, and a lot of people from her school dont accept who she is. Her father, brother, and her new friend Sebastin dont mind it at all.

As i was reading this book it got me thinking. If i was transgender would my family accept me? My friends? The one person whom i lovieth? Would he be creepy out. Find it weird? Or […]

If you don’t hear from me by Sunday, I will have made my exit. I can’t take it anymore, I’m just itching to be released from this life. I’m wondering if I should write letters or not, I guess it’d be the right thing to do. Peace

I don’t have a right to be depressed. My friend has been sexually abused by her step-father. My other friend cuts. Me? I’m a straight A student, my teachers love me, i have amazing friends and my parents don’t hit me. But it’s the small things. The way my parents call me a failure when i get a B on a geometry test. When this girl in my class yells at me and then Kristen tells her to beat me up. When everything in my life is just wrong, but in the eyes of others, perfect. I’m never good enough. Ever. That’s how it is, […]

i just relized i never put up my story and thought it might be interresting to yall. Well when i was little i grew up my my just mom and staying with my grandma a lot. My real dad told my mom he hoped i can out with aids and left. when i was about two my mom found a great man that i call my daddy. Hes always been there for me even after they had my little sister and broke up. and he got married he still came and got us every other weekend untill now since the new woman dont like me […]

Last night was the hardest night of my life. I was up till about 3:30 crying and cutting and drinking. I cut myself so much it hurts to walk, my legs are burning and I can’t take any pain relievers. I have the worst hangover and now I get to go to school and pretend I don’t. My stomach is hurting again, probably from when I tried to OD on Tuesday. I get to face my friend who I called at 2:00 a.m. She said she was really worried about me and I can’t tell her what’s actually wrong because she will report me or […]