General

I’m so done with everything. I’m too damn young for all of this to be happening. I wish it was easier. First, we were going to go to church as a family. My step brother never goes to church with us so he was being a dick about going. My mom started yelling at him and a little later she started crying. I went in there and started yelling at him and then my mom pushed me away. I ran to my room and started crying because now my step dad was yelling. He was calling my step brother a bunch of names and […]

thoughts of suicide becoming more frequent. positives and negatives revolving in my head. can’t seem to shake loneliness, sadness, pessimism, or anger. done with psychologist, psychiatrist seems better option medication wise. cant do that due to parental disagreement. unsure whether or not to attempt in order to wind up in hospital, meaning no school or hassles, time to be alone and really think things over. be away from everything i hate. i think i am sick because i dont know whether id rather tragedy come to me or another i am close to. there are no words to explain this, i have felt worse than […]

My insides feel empty

My heart is as blue as the sky

My future looks shady

For a “Forever You and I”

One only has to take a good look at me

And nothing worth of note they’ll see

They have someone else they love in mind

And anyone who’ll love me must be blind

My heart has an expertise in breaking

As well as bad decision making

Girl, my heart is yours for the taking

But, no, I don’t think she’s believing

People see me as good

But will I ever be good enough?

I can steal your heart like Robin Hood

But are women really just after “hot stuff”?

My heart truly longs for someone out there

One who’ll never […]

im 15 and have no idea who i am where i belong and who i should trust…

ya i know this is normal every kid feels this way, but when they say those things their worried bout fittin in at school and if their gonna marry the boy down the street. I’m not, i don’t care about that when i say i don;t know who i am i mean i have nothing…ive lost all ability to have my own thought. I just do what im told and for awhile i thought maybe it’ll change when i turn 18 but i doubt it cuz i keep reaching […]

Sorry for the language… I’m just confused it seems. I have this dream of being in the army but my allergy prevents it. And the next best thing is…well.. swat (e.r.t. in canada) ANYWAY. What’s holding me back is… I’d feel unfit or guilty for a job like that. You need to be a cop first and honestly my mind is too fucked. If I can’t go a day without my suicidal thoughts, how the hell am I supposed to function with a gun in my hand?! Ugh this life is shit. Why am I still here?!

i’m new here.

just wanted to say i’m here if anyone needs/wants to talk.

i love to listen.

i won’t necessarily try to talk you “out of” anything.

just figure everyone needs to know they’ve been heard.

that is one word to describe my life. Boring. Never anything to do really. I like looking up famous serial killers and some from like the ancient past. I know it sounds weird but i love it. The killings, their childhood, their curput minds. I love everything about it. Call me crazy or a weird freak but its something i do enjoy. I rarely to never go outside. This week it was nothing but headaches. Not worth going outside anyways. I wish i had excitement in my life.Some fun or fucking money. Anything to keep me busy really. *Sigh* just what i need more fuck […]

This is a piece of my day.

I get out of the shower, stand there in my t-shirt and pajamas, brushing my hair in the foggy mirror. I hear a knock at the front door. I ignore it; anybody for me goes to the side door. After 30 seconds or so the door closes with no second knock. I hear the gate to the backyard slam closed. “Fucking hell, I’m all alone to face this” I think to myself, not actually knowing what to expect.

In retrospect I would have liked to have had my knife, 8 inch blade, black painted steel and stamped with an […]

all alone the conversations are deep. sitting conversating to the masses but still all alone. drowning in the ruins of my mind. all alone but still they wont leave me alone. to see them and know their presence but lay all alone. quickening decreased health but always thoughts of hell. does suicide help or worsen?

One summer night when I was sixteen I was walking home from my job at a pizza place a couple blocks from my house. It was real late, probably around one or two in the morning, and there was no one around. As I was crossing the street I heard this car coming toward me. It was a good four or five blocks away, but it must’ve been doing 100 because it was closing the distance between me and it pretty rapidly. It was so quiet out all I could hear was the car’s engine, getting louder and louder. I kept walking, thinking: “Surely they […]

I’m sorry that I’m incapable of being something worthwhile.

I apologize for being a flat character in the story that is your life. I have never had to be a fully functioning human being at any point in my life because I was always the tutor, the listener, or the sidekick. I’m not motivated enough to engage in educated debates, nor am I even capable of thinking for myself. I am wandering from place to place with no reason, no purpose, unthinking, unfeeling. I am forgettable, that piece of your life that you will lose all too soon, that part of you that was never worth […]

My mother called earlier today.

She asked among other things  “How are you holding on ? Are you alright?”

“I’m ok” I replied.  All the while thinking of scalpels and trees.

What else can you really say?

Does anybody else read the lyrics that are posted here? I angrily scroll past them because they take up so much space.

they say im handling everything so well. they dont see the pain do they? i wsh i could feel something other then this hollow pain. sometimes i just want to press stop so i can breath. the people who love me should give their love to those who need it more. sometimes i feel so ugly and empty and i wonder why God could make someone like me? my counciler says dont stop feeling, but thats what i want to do, stop feeling. she told me to stop trying to wave my pain away and that my pain matters. whay does it matter? faking has […]

‘do you know how much i want to kiss you?’

‘thats proably not a smart idea’

‘im not a smart girl’

i kissed him. and he kissed me back. he tasted like sherbert from earlier. his kiss was gentle , not what i expected. he has such a narrow nose and a funny smile. james kisses never felt like that. i dont want aboyfriend and he doesnt want agirlfriend. but i want to kiss him agian! i want to know if itll feel the same! he kissed my nose. james never did that. then agian they are nothing alike. i never felt anything when kissing james. my mind […]

If anyone needs a friend today

Jenniferjdriscoll@yahoo.com

iamwhereasnailhastobe@hotmail.com

Let me Know who you are on SP.