General

I have wants
that I know cannot be fulfilled
I desire a life
that is always fleeting
and will never be mine
Filled with dreams
that never take flight
Scared to hope
knowing I’ll be denied
So I’m left wandering
searching for something that matters
Idly waiting for something to happen
All the while knowing
expectations breed disappointment
I’m seen as cynical and dejected
but really I’m just being sensible
I keep wishing on flame-less candles
because, even light can’t save me now

I feel so guilty. There are so many people who have it way worse than I do. Who am I to complain when others are so trapped that they actually follow through and shoot themselves in the head? I know that everyone has problems, but some are worse than others, right? I hate my life, but I’m too afraid to actually kill myself. If I really did have a bad life, then I would have killed myself too. So maybe I don’t even deserve to be on here. I’m just a fake who wants people to feel bad for her. I’m just a useless, lazy, […]

I’m depressed. I feel like there’s no point to life. Am I wasting my time. Why am I here. Am I going to accomplish and fulfill my purpose. Materialistic things don’t even matter. You cant take them with you when you die. Suicide sits in the back of my mind. But what happens after that. Why am I not happy. Why am I always stressed out. Why do I not care about the people that love me. I’m searching for light in a room with no windows. Trapped in this box of emptiness. There’s no way out. Are drugs the answer. Is God the […]

I try to look calm on the outside to hide what’s going on inside.

The truth is a war’s being raged in me.

Two sides always trying to take control, but neither has won yet.

It doesn’t stop,

So let’s drown out the noise with some good tunes.

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Your work is the best Nujabes. RIP.

“And all the time that we walked barefoot in the sand somehow we never felt the rain.. I could walk off the hurt, run through the pain, wipe all the tears pouring down my face. Deny the dream that just never was. I just can’t walk off the buzz..” -Blessid Union of Souls

Well, it’s been nearly a year since the ‘big break up.’ I’m almost scared to believe it but, I think things are getting better. I think I’m getting better. I don’t constantly obsess over what could’ve been done differently anymore, and I’ve started feeling happy more often than I feel depressed. It could […]

Woke up earlier than usual, hung out with BF for a bit, ate some applesauce, went to his work to go charge my three laptops to find there was no internet access there…. So I’m planning on library, Friday. Anyway, that was 4 hours of almost complete bordem, just talked to BF’s Friend most of the time, and played either minecraft or mahjong on the laptop that had them. Dropped off at Kroger to turn in $17.70 in cans/bottles, and walked home. Sat around with BF, his friend and another friend until BF, the other friend, and and BF’s Cousin left do go shoot a […]

The time will come.
Slogans all over. False prophets emerged.
Kill the evils. Sacrifice. Repent your sins. Come to the Lord. Save yourself and for your own redemption.
While the real deal on Earth is only, not to let evil possessing you.

Good and evil are one thread close.
They all have signatures, and their markings are similar.

Swastika ! Those alleged good guys are marked with 7.
Of those four 7’s, all pointed to a centre.
Some with those 7 all flipped 180° . Some stack two 7’s head to head and create a mirror’s double effect of four 7’s.
But only the ones made up […]

I would cause a lot of stress on my family. But they would cry and get over it. My friends would not know so they would forget quickly. My love will die with me. Problem solved there.
I want to kill myself tonight. I have every reason to… I need someone to talk to.. Can’t stop shaking

I vow.

I vow, that christmas, this year, I’ll be happy, and not the ‘chrisitmas spirit’ happy.

I mean happy.

Sorry we couldn’t help change your mind but I know you’re going to be happier gone….

R.I.P….NihilisticThought

You helped me stay alive this long

I notice that a lot of people who post their pictures up are white. And you all are Very beautiful or handsome. Just wondering if there are any other Asian posters on here? Just to get a good idea.

Hello everyone. I posted on this site a few years ago under a different name and after reading  your guys posts recently, I decided to post a lil bit about my life. For the past couple months i’ve been feelin extremely suicidal, like if I had a gun in my house or had easy access to a gun I woulda blew my brains out a long fucking time ago!! I’m on edge and extremely paranoid.. Paranoid about what?? I DONT FUCKING KNOW. Just in general. I ignore most of my friends phone calls because of my paranoia and barely leave my parents house and im a […]

I had pet hamster called hammy. I sometime’s let him out of his cage for a run around the house But. the door was open and he ran into the garden. My dad said a cat probity eat him. He was my best friend. Hope he made it to the foest and is happy.

I’m so sick of this crap! Life is bullshit, I don’t want to play after its rules anymore. Call me stupid or whatever I’m just fed up with everyone trying to tell me “You can’t do that”, “That’s not how it works”, “Focus on real life”, “You can’t walk on water”, “Well that’s just how it is”, “Smile at the camera”. I was born into this world and I never signed something that I want to participate in this game.

I’ve been gathering the money laying around on my bank account, under my bed and wherever it’s hiding. And I’ve come to the conclusion that … I’m […]

Couldn’t I just; stop. Stop having to think. Maybe I could simply become a blank disk, only childlish giggles, and colourful things.

No thought, no worrys. A robotic institute within my own stereotypical mind, wrapped in a thick layer of semi-permiable armour. Wouldn’t that be devine.

I’m very sheltered… I have boyfriends in real life but I also try some long distance things.. I ended up having feelings for someone who lives all the way across the united states. We dated for almost a year but things got so serious..I got scared and broke up with him… I didn’t want to but I felt like i had to. He’s the only one who has had my heart for a couple years. After taking some time to figure out how I could do this.. I tried to get close to him again but I felt like he was pushing […]

I ordered the helium kit over two weeks ago and it still hasn’t arrived. I was hoping to do this soon, now it looks like i will have to wait. Any one else ordered these kits? Have you had any problems?

I now have no feeling. I see no future. I lost the only one I want to be with. I am 19 years old and recently retired from the US Army because of an injurey i had gotten in mid 2010 in Afghanastan. I have lost everything that is important to me. The Army was something i was good at, it was something that kept me going. I cant perform to the physical and mental standards of the army anymore because of my last tour. I dont know where i can go from here now. I feel that i will be coming to an end […]