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Every year i give a private toast to myself for living another year.
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I’m not going to care about how well this is written or how long it is only about getting my thoughts out which is quite a relief. I have visited this site a few times before but this is my first time posting and i hope desparately that it will be my last (because my problems will be solved not because i will die). I also hope you will read this in its entirety despite its length.
I suppose that my life hasn’t been terribly difficult and i will say to the many who have coped with far greater tradgedies that I am deeply ashamed of myself for […]
I know that I will do it eventually, I’ve already had one attempt. I’m terrified of being sent back to the psych ward I was in if I survive, which is why I must NOT survive. If I combine a few methods then it’ll (hopefully) reduce the chance of survival. I hate summer (I’m Australian). Every time I think of surviving I come close to having a panic attack, life can’t go on, but death doesn’t come so easily when you want it. This sucks. This is hell.
Useless words cannot convey
The thoughts inside my head.
And no mere poem
Or story I make
Can clear this sence of dread.
I am the dead weight you drop
Because it’s useless
I am the dust you blow away
I am the old book that you’ll never read
But that you’ll easily throw away.
Nothing I say or do
can make these emotions clear to you
And Nothing you say to me
Can make me less of an entity
Than I am to myself
I am the dead weight you drop
Because it’s useless
I am the dust you blow away
I am the old book that […]
The roses are burning,
Theres shadows on the wall.
Do you hear those whispers in the dark?
Do you see those withered dreams?
Did you know they were ours?
My dear love
Please tell me
When the ‘feeling better’s’ gonna start?
because now im forever falling apart.
Please let me in your broken heart.
And don’t leave me
To die alone
I don’t wan to be alone anymore, fighting battles I never win. I can’t let this happen anymore. It’s killing me in a worse way than any I could ever think up. If there’s any part of me that’s salvageable and willing to be saved. […]
Cheers to a new year. New year, New problems, same person. Hey 2011. Whats there even to be excited about
My life was a wreck. I took my anger, my sadness, my regret, all of that on myself. it was the wrong thing, but to me it was the only thing left.
I’m bored, tired, and I really need help. Can someone help me? :'(
I had a normal life. Everything close to perfect. I grew up with the largest dreams. Im 17 now a lot different than I was when I was younger. So many things have change.Well here’s how I think my depression grew(yes grew because everyone has depression some time in their life) I was a freshmen in highschool it was perfect. I loved it. I fell for this girl. She was a grade below me. She was so sweet and just was my entire world(I never had a girlfriend before then) She said that she loved me too. We would talk day and night about […]
I’m from Germany and currently it’s 1:22 am. (Btw, you’ll notice that English is not my first language. I’m 14 (Yeess, searching for excuses )The new year started aawwwessommee! But first I wanted to tell you the background. I have two older sisters, both of them moved out a long time ago. Okay, actually they got expelled from home. They didn’t say something like “you should leave now”. No, my father hit them. I can’t remember much; I was like 4 or 6 or so… But I remember on thing clear, my sister screamed and lied on the floor, my father would stand in front […]
I don’t really hear about trains much when searching for suitable methods. I have certainly come across suicides relating to an individual jumping on the subway tracks, but this is not really what I’m talking about. It seems messy and uncertain, particularly due to the fact that if your jump in front of a train pulling into the station it is comming to a stop, not to mention the fact that subway trains [in my city at least] don’t seem to go that fast to begin with [not compared to actual trains anyways].
So if one was looking to be taken out by a train what […]
I received some advice from someone on this site telling me to make a door open. So today I used that advice an am trying to put my life back together. I know I have a long road ahead but I will try. I have found so many good people on this web site and thank them all because I was never this close to suicide as I was this week. I am not out of the woods but am looking for the trail to lead me to piece with myself.
I’m not a stranger.
No, I am yours with crippled anger,
and tears that still drip sore.
A fragile frame aged with misery, and when our eyes meet,
I know you see.
I do not want to be afraid.
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.
I’m tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists, I find it when…
I am cut.
I may seem crazy or painfully shy.
And these scars wouldn’t be so hidden If you would just look me in the eye.
I feel alone here and cold here, though I don’t want to die.
But the only anesthetic that makes me […]
It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be happy…
Ok, so I understand that I’m not poor, I have a food, clothes, water, many things, but my house is not my home.
I’m a 17 year old male. Young? Maybe, but all I want is to feel free. I was born in England, but my parents are from India… You can probably guess where this is going…
I’m smart, behave well, don’t do drugs, rarely party, and I’m still a virgin. I have no desire to do any of that, my parents don’t understand me. They want me to be their “good Indian boy” unfortunately I don’t fit their […]
2011…One year closer to the awaited year 2012, woo-hoooh!
At 38,i feel like a loser, like somebody who hasn’t accomplish anything in life except savings and an apartment right outside NYC
Life is hard for everyone but for some people its a whole lot harder. I suffer from severe depression and have done on and off for the last 3 years now. The thought of dying scares me but the thought of living scares me more. The worst part of this awful illness is people do not understand which leaves you feeling so alone. People look at me and wonder what I have to be so down about….I have great friends, am very attractive and seem to have alot going for me from an outsiders perspective but I’ve always felt very different. Nowadays the only thing […]
Well this is my story, I’m from Mexico but it started on summer 2008 when I was on vacations in Disney, Orlando FL… I met 2 girls from Venezuela there, Victoria and Stephany they were best friends. I gave ’em my facebook so they could add me later, they were really nice to me, well that happened and me and Victoria started to have a good relationship later when I add her in msn in 2009, we were really closed friends, too close that she even invited me to venezuela and i invited her to mexico, we used to talk about music, piercings, parties and […]
I have been thinking about suicide seriously for a few years.. But who’s keeping track of time with a state of mind like mine anyway? Everytime I decide I’m going to do it, something stops me, but today was different..
What stopped me today, was thinking about my poor (literally poor) family paying for my funeral, which I know they would do even if I left a note saying I didn’t want one. Wonder what will stop me next. If it’s nothing, you won’t be hearing from me again.
-Kenneth