General

The sun was shining on my face, something it hadn’t done in a good, long time.

Today was just another day, no different from the day before. I woke up at 5:30 am, got ready for school, drove to school, waited for the last bell to ring before i could book it out of there, and then I went home and did homework until I had to cook my siblings dinner and go to bed. Not a very exciting routine, but I didn’t mind it so much.

There is always one thing that changes though, always one thing that I know is going to be different: my […]

The butterflies and zebras

Dance in the night

She dances with them

Never looking back

Moon to her right

The darkness is following

Always ready to leap

She dances her way across the sky

What happens when you reach the end

Of  your cloud?

The one you dance on

With butterflies and zebras

The darkness right behind you

What do you do?

You jump

And turn into to a butterfly

With zebra striped wings

Then soar the night sky

For butterflies and zebras

Are what we become

Once we jump

*I know that this poem sounds crazy and many of you may no get it. FYI the jumping part is not about jumping off a cliff to plummet to your death. This is not supposed to be […]

I stopped over at Scott M——-’s today. I had five pages, printed out, stapled together, in my bag. I was going to give them to him. They were the pages of the entry I wrote right after that whole night with Brandon happened. I wasn’t expecting him to read it and feel bad, I wasn’t expecting anything to change, I was just expecting him to read it in front of all of his buddies, and laugh. Laugh at how pathetic, emotional, and weak I am. I pictured it, him sitting in the middle of his couch, just flipping through the pages and reading off every […]

well, i guess i’ve been doing better. i’m not sure. nothing has happened lately to make me sad, but when it does, i know ill be worse. i feel that im blocking my feelings at the moment, but i know im not happy. im stuck in between. i feel blank. but i hate feeling blank because it makes me feel confused. school stresses me out a lot. all these projects that i have to work on are not helping. i feel like ive lost myself… i feel boring. it sucks. im just living with the same old routine everyday… waking up at 5am, going to […]

If anyone needs anyone to talk to after a rough day or anything.
Please go here;
http://leaveitallbehind.weebly.com/chat.html

we can chat 🙂
and if you want to email please email me at: love.advicex@gmail.com

no longer love-advice. 🙂

My love is a burden

Always weighing me down

But you shot at it

And I came to you

Looking for peace

Only to find war

You were my beautiful 

The one that I love

Flying on wings

You were my beautiful

The one that held me tight

Then the storm and darkness came

And my wings didn’t work

So you left

When I was no longer beautiful

Now I fly

Though the storm has not passed

I find strength in my anger

To fly and to soar

For a while

Before I must come back to rest

I lost the war

But so did you

Because you are no longer

My beautiful

I find that its easier to smile then to frown.

I’m stuck in a school where no one wants to hear about your problems, they just want to get through the six classes of the day and be done with it.

What isn’t easy is pretending. I’ve never had to pretend to be happy when I’m not, it’s never been necessary. Now, in high school, it’s like they have “be happy or don’t bother coming” postered on every single space of wall. The girls don’t cry from heartbreaks, the emo’s dont shed a tear for their screwy lives, and the clinically depressed never even spring a leak for fear that […]

December 15th, 2009 My 29th birthday, the day I was going to die, came and went and I am here today telling you my story.

I don’t know where to start… There is so much to get off of my chest.

Well, in 7th grade I caught my dad looking at gay porn. He never knew it, and I never told anyone. Eventually my younger brother and sister walked in on him as well and then my mom found out and everything went from there. My dad came out as gay, my mom freaked out mentally and physically. (had to be hospitalized, all of this coming from a very religious family) My parents were youth pastors for heaven’s sake, and well as worships leaders at the church! My family disowned my […]

I moved to a new country. The school is hard, the friends suck,I can’t get over what I’m feeling. My parents argue with me all day, because they can’t tust me, and they think I’m not taking my life seriously enough. Maybe they are right, because at this moment, I’m considering swallowing a bottle of pills, or jumping off my apartment roof.

They say, I need to do the right things, they make me feel like i’m unimportant. They make me feel like dieing. No one knows how I feel, no one knows what it’s like. Atleast no one I’ve met. All the stories I’ve read […]

Adultery is the case that a commitment broken.
Those who not married but cheated with real actions or just flirtings, the substantial commitment bonded is violated there.
And by law in most countries, people are free to engage in sex as long as they are not married and within the law abiding.
So the law seems to agree that lies are permitted to those people even sex is related.
Then why marriage is to be set being so sacred ? Some religious people even bind words of “till death do us apart”. Do we really have to die ?
Isn’t that only to bind the sharing […]

I recently attempted suicide by slashing my wrist. I was taken to the emergency room, and placed on a 5150 Involuntary Hold, after which I was placed in a psychiatric ward for 72 hours. I did this because my partner of seventeen years flaunted his new sex partner in my face, even going so far as to have sex in our bed WHILE I was trying to kill myself. I survived obviously, but he could care less if I succeeded. So, if you are trying suicide because you are trying to make someone take notice, do not bother. It will not work.

So i know I have a wonderful life. A family, job, people who care. I feel compleatly alone.
Some reason ujnknown to me, i have been staring at a little orange bottle mindlessly for over three hours, there are twenty one pills inside and i know it would end it. I want to. I could, its simple. i cant.
i dont even know why i want to. i feel like the world is caving in on me. like if i wasnt here everything for everyone else would be easier. i feel like a problem.
i’ve never said a single word to anyone about this, ever, […]

I’m crazy and here to tell you my life story, I want help and I need it…..

If anyone needs help. I have been through a lot of tough times and i can understand what it is like for some of you. I am a strong believer in the Lord and i will always be there for those who need me. You can reach me at  rocklee225@gmail.com

If anyone needs someone to talk
just email me at
love.advicex@gmail.com
or love.advicex@hotmail.com
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Hi. This story is so long I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just go with it.

The first time I thought of wanting to die was back in December of ’91. I was lying there in bed with my girlfriend, & it just came over me that it would never get any better. (We broke up soon after this.) Blah blah blah, circumstances caused me to become really depressed & it was sustained for the next couple of years.

Fast forward to August of ’94. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis after getting hit hard with it for a few months. As soon as I […]