I did this, you can too.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
First of, I’m new to this I came across this when I was looking for easy ways to die. I see myself as pretty messed up in the head. I had a mental breakdown when I was 17 after suffering horrific abuse and exposure..I was sectioned and before that was told by a nurse that if I had fallen asleep I would of died. I’ve always felt that no one cares about me as I’ve had my own mum tell me I was a mistake and my own nan has told me I was a 2 minute wonder baby. My depression is clinical and can […]
I have been struggling with anxiety for around five years now, and I thought I was getting better. And then Thursday rolled around. I took the ACT this weekend, and I was studying for it. It really didn’t seem that bad, until my heart started racing. My head started to hurt, my knees buckled, I started to cry. The normal panic symptoms. The worst part: I was home alone. You think a panic attack is bad. Going through it without anyone there makes you feel so alone and desperate. I hadn’t thought about suicide in two months, and all the sudden, all the thoughts came […]
Ever since middle school I’ve always wanted a bf. Almost every night I would cry because I thought no one would ever love me. When I was 18, my best friend introduce me to a guy. We started emailing each other a lot. I get really bad anxiety but that one day I decided to meet him. He picked me up, all he wanted was sex. He kept pressuring me to do it so I felt like I had to. So I lost my virginity to him. He totally left me after that. I was heart broken and sad again. I met this guy on […]
I had an account on here before, which I started a few months back. A little over a month ago, I had an extremely bad breakdown that lead me to attempt suicide (I had been thinking of it for awhile but many little things pushed me to it). I posted on here to say goodbye to everyone and apologize for wasting their time in reading my posts and trying to help me. I didn’t see any way in my life recovering, since the stack of shit just kept getting bigger and masked the few good things I had left. I was obviously unsuccessful in my […]
Today is a different day, not that it is special or great. Today I don’t feel like killing myself.
Last week I was in a dark place and I stumbled onto this website because I was googling painless ways to kill myself. That night was unlike the previous ones because it was the first time i had tried to figure out how to do “it”.
I opened this page in a tab and clicked around some other sites until i concluded that I didn’t have access to anything that could be used to conveniently end my life. This page struck a chord with me and i cried a […]
You know I’ve realized something
The more I think I’m bettering everyone else off, the more damage I do
For myself, but mostly others
They never get to feel what I feel
They never get to experience the love I have for them
I keep distorting everything I think life is supposed to be full of
And in order for my love to be shared I have to be here
I’m loving no one if I decide to leave
As badly as I feel, and as much as I believe the world won’t notice my absence, I won’t leave here until all my love is […]
http://www.truthortradition.com/articles/the-dead-are-dead-until-the-rapture-or-resurrection#comment-174685
I use my Instagram account for posting all my poems, quotes, and writings. And so in my post today, I asked whether I should publish the book I’m working on, then this account who had the same theme commented for me to do it and she just started to compliment all my works and I thanked her. Then, she asked me if I wanted to be her internet friend, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic, I’ve finally gained something out of a loss. We just started to share things about ourselves till’ we wrote each other poems about meeting each other. Then she asked me […]
Ok, so suicidal thoughts linger. Will they ever totally dissipate? Perhaps or perhaps not. I don’t really know. If I had to say, I would lean towards they will lighten but never just go away. Once you learn know or relaize something, it’s not like you can just purposely unknow or unrealize it. The partial truth behind ingnore is bliss. So with acceptance of the fact I may never be able to fully revert from suicidal thoughts and desires leads me to the question of what can I do to cope with them? My mind running on the topic of ways to kill myself and […]
I’m still getting through my depression. It’s almost a daily battle here at college, but I’m surviving somehow. I heard this music one day with my therapist, and I couldn’t stop crying.
This song has kept me through some of the hard days. I play it when I fall asleep. I wake up better.
Thank you all so much. Even if we never commented towards each other, I have read all. I will make it. I have made it 30 years of depressed, I can make it a little longer for my family. I am chronically ill and will probably only make it another 20-30 years. I don’t want to come repeat life because I didn’t learn my lessons the first time. Or end up in some purgatory with guides and counselors. (i have been reading NDEs). Even if I just wink out, it is not fair to my daughter, she did not ask to be here either (as […]
I call this day one because this is the first day I haven’t cried in a really long time. I’ve come to believe the fact that Jordan will not come back to me. That who ever wrote the quote, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was always yours. And if it doesn’t, it never was; never dated a stubborn, prideful, Army Ranger.
I can admit I fucked up. I completely screwed up our dreams of marriage, happiness and children. I can say, I never cheated, never thought about it and never wanted anything more in my life than […]
I remember my recent birthday, it was horrible. My mom, and my dad kicked me to the dirt and left me to cry my eyes out in my bathroom because I went to a friends house that day (yes I did tell them). My dad smiled to me and said “happy fucking birthday”. How those words hurt me so much. And to this day I still don’t know what I did wrong. So much yelling and arguing, but for what? I don’t even know..
I also remember when I was supposed to go to a amusement park with some of my friends, but I got stressed […]
So I am currently pregnant and 5 days ago I called my now ex boyfriend because he hadn’t called me or checked on me in 3 days ? So we had a conversation and he had told me that he had a new girlfriend and that they’d been with each other those 3 days. That really broke me down I couldn’t stop crying and I sat there and thought about how to end it all because I was so hurt ? I never thought this would happen so soon. Just the other day we were talking about how excited we were for our family. Glad […]
3 years since i last posted
Hi, I’m Annie, resident fuck up of phoenix arizona. But then again, we do have someone shooting up a highway here (in my honest opinion, i think it’s a part of the gun control movement. Shoot people and make them scared of guns, gets more people to orgasm over gun control.)
I used to post on here all the damn time as a 12-14 year old, I made friends on here that i never kept. It was like our own little community of fucked depressed people.
I don’t know how I remembered this website, but I am glad I […]
I’m different now, my heart beats for no one no emotion… I feel nothing but the annoyance of this world… I couldn’t die I was found with over two months of meds in my stomach they pumped them out… After a week they let me go of course I’m watched but… No one knows… The me that was hurt… The me that was weak, bullied, destroyed every way possible… Has returned the hunter… I don’t want my life for me… I want to take back what millions have lost… Millions commit suicide every year… I will take back the lives we lose… I don’t care […]
This is going to sound insane, like I’ve lost my mind, or like I’m a real idiot or someone who hasn’t been honest here, but I have been.
So I found a place to live for the next 7 months, provided my work keeps up and I can pay for it. I don’t have a bed though, so I’m on the couch. I’d like to be able to have a bed in my own room though.
Anyway, I’ve been through some real hell with the guy I like blowing up at me when I try to talk about how I feel, which is that the terminology he […]
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