I did this, you can too.
Someday, I get depressed and suicidal. I keep telling myself everything will be fine. It will get better. If i keep this mind, I can hold on. Â Then, I get depressed and hopeless again. It seems like a cycle to me. I told myself if I can’t hold on, just end my life. But, I don’t know when is the right time.
Abandoned by my mother
Raped by my grandpa
When i told abandoned by my grandmother
Raped by my brother
Abandoned by everyone in my family but my dad
Went to court
Diagnosed with Pseudo seizures
Struggling with depression, anxiety, ptsd, insomnia, cutting and other mental illness’s
You would thing my life wouldn’t get any worse.
About 3 month ago, I noticed a lump in my upper left abdomen, it hurt but i ignored it.
1 month ago the pain moved to my lower right abdomen.
In my right abdomen I had an ovarian cyst. Nothing bad right?
I told them about pain on my left side. They did a CT scan. And found a mass.
For the last […]
Depression is surrounding me again, I wanna cut.
I wanna feel something, I feel so numb.
Today is mine and my boyfriends 7 months.
And he’s currently looking at 10-20+ years for dating me.
He’s 21, I’m 15.
I’ve lost my best friend, and haven’t talk to him for a month and a half.
He was my reason for living.. my happiness.
And like everything else in my life it was snatched away.
I need to talk to him.. I’m slipping again.
I might break tonight.. I know if/when he finds out he’ll […]
It took all i had to make this. I couldn’t be any more proud. Days are still hard but I’m happy I reached this point.
I posted this here one day:
Cameron,
I fell in love with you the moment your eyes saw mine. Shivers played at me when you were close. Your beautiful black hair, and those dark grey blue eyes. Tall, freckles, always in my favorite color. Black. You were perfect. Perfect for me. But…I apparently wasn’t perfect for you…I know we talked once…maybe twice…but the sound of your voice made me want to cry tears of happiness…
Ugh, wow. Sounding like a total stalker now. Great.
Whatever. Not like you know who I am. You wouldn’t remember me. Yknow, the girl always glancing at you. The shy girl wearing your favorite […]
January 25, 2013 I met the love of my life.
I’m 15, he’s 21. On January 26th we got together, knowing full well what could happen if we were to get caught. But we did research, we looked up laws. We were suppose to be okay as long as two things stood.
We didn’t have sex, and my parents consented..
On March 26th my dad found out the Nick was really 21. He told him he was never to see me again, telling me that even if he […]
When I see you smile,
And hold your hand
I feel blesses, so full of soul.But inside my chestI’m bleeding,
From a cavernous, heart-shaped hole.
When you hold me tight it feels like flying,
When you kiss me softly I feel like crying.
I seem okay, but inside I’m dying.
For you have my soul, my dying breath.
Whilst cling to only memories left.
from when it hurt us both to part,
From when you held me in your heart.
On the surface all I have is passion.
But beneath the mask is pain.
And every time I fell renewed,
I’m plunged into sorrow again.
Each day is painful to live.
And I have nothing left to give.
The blue skies darken […]
Sometimes I just try to be positive.
Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.
Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,
and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything
I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C08Ini72mZw
To everyone who is thinking about killing them self tonight.
To everyone who is thinking about cutting them self tonight
To everyone who is thinking about throwing up tonight.
To everyone who is thinking about not eating tonight.
Please. Listen to me. I’m where you are. I’m young. I’m lost. I have no hope. No desire to keep going on.
But your reading this now aren’t you?
Please I know you see a light at the end of the tunnel, I’ve seen it my self for many years. I’m hear on this site because I’m trying to get closer to the light. I want to, deep down in side.
Live.
So please, fight […]
Is not that i hate life , or that I hate living, not that I want to kill myself.
I mean I’ve thought of it and I’ve tried it, but I just can’t.
There’s something I just can’t take out of my mind, I really don’t understand the meaning of all that. I just don’t know what to do sometimes, I am lost, but not sure why. I mean, I’m good at school, I love my career. I have friends, but to be honest, I don’t share thoughts or feelings about this, ‘how I feel’ with them, not even with my family, not even with […]
Is it a society full of fuck ups,
Or a society full of hate,
A society full of villains,
Or a society with no faith,
I don’t know what they want me to do,
They see me as a delinquent,
But that’s what my record tells you,
I’ve grown since then,
You can just look at my health,
And easily see,
that I’m not my old self,
I may be still broken,
But I’ve gotten some will,
To stand up and say,
That what I’ve done takes skill,
Damn right I’m strange,
But who isn’t in this place,
They say I can change,
But it’s too late to save face,
I don’t care much either what you think of me,
If you really think my […]
It all comes crashing down so suddenly.
It all comes falling in this downward spiral of everything you love and everything you know.
It twists you apart inside and you don’t know how to let it go.
Crying tears that no one else knows about and pulling away from it all.
Distractions only last so long and then reality comes creeping back in once you stop moving and take the time to breathe.
You try to be the glue that holds it all together but everything you touch falls to ruins.
Holding it in kills you but there’s […]
They say time heals all wounds…but I think that’s a lie. I think it’s just something that someone made up one day to tell someone they knew that was struggling through something. I wish there was some magical thing that could help every person that is depressed or suicidal because I know how suicide can hurt people you don’t think it would…I know how much it sucks to be on the other end of suicide, and even I feel guilty for wishing I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I miss being happy. But I guess when you’ve lost one of the most important people […]
My daughter’s father before he committed suicide.I was three months pregnant. This was while we were still happy.
This is Annabelle, our daughter. She was born 3 months after her father committed […]
I have been clean for 10 weeks, which is a tremendous achievement for me, as I’ve never gone for this long.
The only thing that comes with this, however, is the overwhelming urges, especially at this time, when emotional release is important right now. I struggle to find any other forms of emotional release, I really struggle.
I am receiving my exam result in a few days, and if I fail it will affect me hugely, I would’ve let down my parents, who have held me a high standard I have enjoyed working towards, but the pressure is immense now.
I am also caught in […]
90% of my time is spent listening to music.
It helps distract me from my surroundings and it supresses my anxiety.
Music is a great form of therapy.
I’m going to post a few of my favourite songs for when I’m in a crappy mood.
Enjoy!
This is my first time back on in two months… I’ve suffered some complications and hurt… But I think I will be okay now… All I can do is hope.
Have you ever reached a point of sadness where you just . . . Stop? You stop thinking because there’s just so many bad thoughts. Any thought you do have is incoherent; merely a few words in a jumble that you can’t put in any sensible order. Nothing seems right. The words mean nothing to you anyway. For these three days or so, you shut down. You are clockwork. It’s almost like nothing matters anymore. You can do anything you like, there are no rules; no restrictions. You walk around following your daily pattern, knowing what you need to do but not thinking about any […]
i fantasized about dying for a good 2 years. it was my source of comfort.
i dont need my cipralex anymore, so i’m taking myself off it. a week in and those familiar suicidal feelings are back.
i know it’s just the withdrawal doing this to me, but it all feels so… familiar. and real. surreal. i wanna go partake in my new life, but  i’m having momentary thoughts of throwing myself off a building. i know it’s all biological. just gotta let it pass. it’s just made very uncomfortable by the fact that my left arm is in a cast for another few weeks, […]
Please log in to report posts