My Suicide Note

2

God has answered my prays, I was reborn-ed.

December 28th, 2017by Urm8451n

Hey, good day for all of you.
This will be my last post

, because I have changed, and I’m quit-ing this site.
For those who didn’t follow my posts, or read the last posts of mine, I wanted to wake up today, fearless and with out feelings.

Fully honest with all of you strangers: for the last days I have been fighting in my mind, over the control of this body. As if I fought with my “anxiety” persona, which fears failures. Today I guess my other persona won, because I’m fearless. I’m focused on what I want and when I want it.

I’m just a kid, I …

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0

I want to pull the fucking trigger

December 27th, 2017by Urm8451n

that is it. I had enough.
I had enough of this kind of life.
I screwed up a few times. other times I got screw over.
Im fucked up.

I want to be soulless. I want to be with out feelings
I want to be a fucking robot.

I don’t want to communicate. I don’t want to love, to cry, to be mad.

God. If you are out there, when I wake up tomorrow morning, please wake me up feeling less.
Please help me become this hollow shell.

Why would you take away from me so much, without taking my feelings too? …

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1

Nothing to say

December 25th, 2017by Scottish man

Bye.

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5

current state of my mind

December 21st, 2017by Caelum

Hello

I am not sure how to start…I have this kind of suicidal thoughts more than 10  years now(around in my mid 20es). What is my situation now?I took a break in my studies.I studied business information in the 6th semester but I never graduated by University.It isn’t like I hate or love my minor but after some semesters I think it is boring and not enjoyable to study and work in this subject/environment.

I felt always like I don’t belong to anyone or group not because I am hyper shy/introverted but I am like jack of all trades.Actually during my studies I built my own social …

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2

just wanted to tell you

December 20th, 2017by pegasus40

Life is absurd. If cant give meaning to anything I do, I feel empty. I wasnt like this before, but here I am. People have some sort of meaning to keep living. It is about their job, love, friends, hobbies etc. I cant live like it anymore, everything has an end. It doesnt make sense to keep living if I dont value anything. That value would keep me strong even if I know it will cease to exist some time. Since I dont have it, I feel like a stranger, not from this world. So, I am bored to ask “why” all the time. If …

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2

gimme love

December 18th, 2017by takethistoyourgrave

sitting on the pink dresser of my room is a book. its been my diary for the past year. all the reasons are in there.

 

mom and dad: dont blame yourselves. i love you.

 

my friends: dont do what i did please please please. it’ll get better for you it just didnt for me.

 

my younger siblings: sorry i was never there for you and never got to see you grow up. i’m sorry im hurting you. please dont ever do this. i am so proud of you always.

 

my teachers: im gay.

 

 

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14

Going to end my Life today

December 14th, 2017by cal310

tonight, is the night, that i will write a letter to my family and friends swallow the 3 bottles of prescription pills i have, lay down, and go to sleep. i feel at this point i will be happier in another place, i hope to be with god, i pray to him that i am sorry and that he forgives me for this. i have fucked up to much so much where i am just so lost as to where to turn to next. i feel so lost, like a bag drifting through the wind. i have thought about this for several days, i think …

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2

December 13th, 2017by aphids

my name is payton andrew, well- on the internet it is that. it’s currently almost 9 pm,,,such a weird time it is. i’m always tired at 9 yet i’m never tired enough to fall asleep. but then again alot of time it’s like that

i’m sounding dramatic, aren’t i ? well,,i’ll just get to the point on telling my life story. i want to get this out in case anything happens to me in the next few days.

everything that has made me as fucked up as i am now is because of my family. when i was 7 i had to watch my mom beat my …

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4

who am I

December 12th, 2017by Drained-Blast

I’ve been around this project for a while but I did never have the energy to post, today’s am feeling bit better and that’s why I grabbed the opportunity to write.

I feel like having a whole population in my head, each person trying to make it theirs, looking from outside I have the best family and a prosperous future, but no one ever asked if I am really happy about it.

my parents ruined my life with their fucking ideal principles, : you should not do this, school before friends, school before hanging out, shcool school school and then school, ok I secured my future but …

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25

Empty Promises

December 10th, 2017by AZSAM

If you believe in God, I want to know why.  I’ve tried, hard.  It all seems like lies and empty promises.  I’ve done what was asked.  I followed the rules.  Nothing good ever happens.  The love of my life just walked away after 2 years.  I’ll never get over her.  She’s not perfect but sure as hell was perfect for me.  In every way.  For 2 years, I prayed, cried, kicked and screamed.  I begged God to find a way to put us together for forever.  Ultimately she decided God didn’t want us to be together.  What!?!?  He never talked to me about it.  Church …

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7

How do I make it through?

December 2nd, 2017by Urm8451n

Hey, good week everyone.

Hope you guys do well.

This post I’m addressing to any reader with a question :

In the end of the day, you are still alive. How come? How did you make it through?  you are more than welcome sharing to me your secret.

 

I’m a little bit of suicidal now…

So freaking terrored by the idea of not making it through.

I see the following week and I’m disgusted of my life.

It’s going to be a tough time for me.

I never hoped to get this lonely, but here and there, life has brought me here.

Will I make it through, like you do?

Will I one day, stand …

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12

Iron Pills Suicide Attempt

December 2nd, 2017by Spit

So I took an entire box of Slow Fe iron pills. And nothing has happened in over 36 hours. Don’t know why.

Don’t know

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4

Maybe, I just need to jump… (to my death)

November 28th, 2017by Urm8451n

A lot of time has passed since I wrote here.

My last post was about “Tips and good bye”, but I came back.
I’m suffering from abdominal pains each day, and it has become more and more harsh.
I’m trying to study, but I can’t concentrate. Where ever I go, I feel isolated. It is not socialy isolation, it is different. I feel different.
I can’t explain how I’m doing, I can only say I’m cracked, I’m fully torn apart. I’m all alone in this war and I don’t FEEL like I can make it through, I need help, and I HAVE NOWHERE TO GET IT FROM.

I’m a fighter, …

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5

My story if anyone cares

November 28th, 2017by Max

6

Making it look accidental. Indecision

November 21st, 2017by whatshouldmynamebe

Part of me wants to make my death look like an accident, not like a suicide. To make it easier on my loved ones, friends, family and girlfriend. The only problem with that is not saying goodbye really bothers me, and generally these methods are more risky( but i’m not trying to discuss methods)

Another part of me wants to leave a suicide note, to try and explain my rational and hope they can understand and don’t think that they weren’t enough. Because truly, the only reason i’m killing myself is because of myself.

What are your thoughts?

7

giving up someone who loves me. Help with grief (advice wanted)

November 21st, 2017by whatshouldmynamebe

I can not function in this world, this has been a long time in the making.

The only reason I am having trouble killing myself is because I have an amazing girlfriend. she deserves the absolute best in this world. She showed me what its like to be human. She loves me beyond my own comprehension. The selfish part of me loves how much she loves me, but the loving part of me hates it because it will break her heart when i’m gone.

The only thing that causes me more pain than myself, is the thought of her reaction to my death. Im afraid it would …

7

Torture

November 19th, 2017by Gnarledpoet

I’ve been in deep depression for 4 years now and I’ve attempted suicide 3 times. The first time i jumped from a bridge overlooking a ridge of water and rocks, it was about 100 feet i think. I ended up with bruised ribs, a twisted ankle and back pain for several months. The second time i overdosed on ecstasy, but one of my few remaining friends found me and got me help before i could die. The last time i tried a couple months ago with a 357 magnum, turned out it was old and the firing pin on it had been broken a while …

3

Why?

November 15th, 2017by Rosaaa

It seems that that’s the number one question on my mind.

Why am I here ? Why do I feel so sad?

Why can’t I succeed?

Why am I treated the way I am?

I feel so alone I have no body to talk to I have no feeling I’ve became so numb.

How much longer?

I sit and write the final suicide note…

3

It’s bad for me, but it makes me happy..

November 10th, 2017by lonelylostsoul

Yeah.. I uh.. I have started drinking beer. 4% of alcohol, but it still counts. I know. I f*cked up really badly. So badly that my only true friend threatens me that she’ll abandon me, just like that, if I don’t stop. I somehow find a way to f*ck up everything I can.. I just wish I f*cking killed myself when I had the chance to.. I just don’t want this life anymore.. I am only alive right now, because if I killed myself, my only true friend would too. Only because of that. No other reason. If it wasn’t for her I’d be dead …

13

I finally gave up…

November 8th, 2017by lonelylostsoul

Yeah, as the title says, I gave up.. I am not a fighter, and I just can’t see myself winning this battle anymore. I don’t have much time left.. Well, I have 4 days, to be exact. I guess this is the last goodbye to the world.. Not like I’ll be missed by many, but hey..

Thank you, my friends, family, for making me want to kill myself. Now I will, because of you all.

And to my only true friend – I loved you so much. I’m really sorry.