Poetry & Art

Please don’t do it,

for if you do,

I’ll just say “screw it”

and I will to.

Please don’t do it,

there’s gotta be a way.

I’ve been through it

and lived another day.

Please don’t do it,

I know things are tough.

Maybe I blew it

and did not do enough.

Please don’t do it,

I know that you’re down.

You know that I’ll rue it,

so please stick around.

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thanks for the cyberspace

One more before I try to self medicate the pain away.  Thanks for the cyberspace.

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I know somewhere that’s as cold and lonely

and as empty as Outer Space.

It’s really not that very far,

yet rather hard to find.

Look very deep into my eyes

and see beyond my face,

no GPS nor any map will lead you there,

you might as well be blind.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

If you want I’ll show the way,

if you really dare,

it takes a while, so if we’re going,

we’d better get a start.

For sure this place is fragile tho’,

so I ask you please take […]

I read depressing stories
The lives of countless others
(i suck at writing poetry, these are just seperate thoughts, somewhat)
Cause me pain and pity
Makes my eyes stare blankly out
And go back to my lil world
Where i daydream about
The shitty, ugly truth left behind
From an abnormal past
Not as bad as others
But still worse in its own way
I read these depressing stories
My month old habit
That died down for a while
Of choking myself
I feel an urge to wring my neck
I can feel where my fingers used to be
Feels like its been scarred into […]

This one is in remembrance of those “others” this past weekend. Titled same as this post, “Nobody”

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Nobody knows

how close I came,

Nobody cares

if I go insane.

Nobody listens

to what I say,

Nobody helps

chase my blues away.

– – – – – – – – – – –

Nobody is there

to hear my plea,

Nobody is around,

when I don’t want to be.

Nobody knows

or even asks why,

Nobody cares

if I live or die.

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Thanks again for the cyberspace.

This is a new one, just finished a minute ago. Written for someone specific, but I hope it speaks to many. It is actually a thank you to all here who have helped. It’s titled just like this post, “Plant A Seed”

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Life is crap

we can all agree,

all we want

is a way to flee.

– – – – – – – – –

If Hope is something

we all need,

then maybe I

should plant a seed.

– – – – – – – – – –

I don’t think Hope

grows on trees,

but I’m sure

our Soul it frees.

 – – – – – – – – – –

I’m not like others

so full of greed,

I […]

I had some conversation online here. It really helped. During that conversation of about 2 hours, I wrote like 4 poems. Here is one that hasn’t been posted yet. Untitled.

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It’s all about
“Do I want to live?”
and just how much
I have left to give.
I am out of strength
and have lost my will,
but I must have anger,
’cause I just want to kill
myself.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
My cats, my poems
that’s all there is,
I was a man,
now just a shell of his,
keep on livin’

I know I’ve probably posted more than anyone really cares for, but believe it or not, it has helped keep me alive….. amazing to me that in less than 3 hours of trying to sleep, I come up with two more poems. I haven’t written two poems in the previous 3 yrs.

“Tomorrow Is The Day”

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Tomorrow is the day.

They say it never comes.

Well that has got me bummed,

’cause tomorrow is the day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow is the day.

I want to end my life

with either rope or knife.

Tomorrow is the day.

– – – – – – – – – […]

what to title this post…. a very long and difficult day that once again had someone on this site saving me from myself. For the second time in 4 days. Because I feel like I should give something back in return for these two individuals, here is another poem that is being published as soon as it is finished. Titled, “Now I’ve Gone And Done It”

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Somewhere deep in the back of my mind,

I always thought I’d be too scared to try.

But now that I’ve actually gone and done it,

I’m afraid I’ll never be too far from it.

– – – – – – – – – […]

this one is just a few minutes old….  once again, thanks for the cyberspace – FTS

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Afraid Of The Day

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Somehow I feel safer at night,

the demons must sleep then.

It’s around noon when try I might

and death comes calling again.

The daylight burns scars on my soul

when evil comes out to play.

Under the lonesome bridge like a troll,

I am fearful of the day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Absent stars, a velvet black sky

protects me from myself.

But morning looms, a new day is nigh

and again I go through Hell.

Why am I so afraid of the sun

and the day so full of […]

Just another poem from today…. I’ve written more today than I have in 5 yrs….

“I Walk Alone”

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Amongst the rubble and the ruin,

smoke hangs heavy upon the mist,

full moon rising, darkness falling,

I walk alone

– – – – – – – – – – –

Black, barren oak trees

form a sullen empty canopy

over the desolate rocky path.

Chilled to the bone.

– – – – – – – – – – – - –

Within the shadows, creatures lurk

and feast on careless souls.

Down this sinister path of life,

I walk alone

like I said earlier…. difficult day…. all of the poems I’ve posted here so far were written much earlier in my life… years ago…. I think the most recent was from 2005…..  this one was written today… about today…..  titled same as the post… “Today Would Be The Day”….. thanks for the cyberspace….

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If it wasn’t for a promise I made,

today would be the day.

To end the pain and all the strife,

today’s the day I’d end my life.

I told someone I do not know

that I’d be there, so off I go.

It seems to me to be so absurd,

but I said yes and gave my word.

If it […]

Not quite 10 am my time…. it’s already been a difficult day….  sorry for my rants.

Another of my poems…..  hope some one can relate.

this one is appro po for today…. titled “Killing Thoughts”

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No one around to pick me up,

livin’ a life that’s stuck in a rut.

Just sittin’ around, lonesome and blue,

lookin’ for ways to get my mind off you.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

The sound of my thoughts is all I hear,

those of suicide are the ones I fear.

I don’t like myself or anything about me,

with rope in hand I search for a tall tree.

– – – – […]