For your poems.
I will be strong,
I made up my mind
So why look back,
Theres still hope in sight.
Day by day,
Step by step
These little things I will never forget.
I once was weak,
But this is my day
I will be strong,
Get the fuck out my way.
Hi guys, its been only one week since i found here and i feel a lot better than ever. I feel like i have a family in here. I have learned a lot from you guys. You guys are my heroes. I hope youre doing well.
I have said this so many times, and im sorry if im saying it again( i apologise, im young and unexperienced) :
Please Read These books. For god sake!:))
They helped to revive. I haven’t used any med (i couldn’t) until now but books about philosophy or other science majors.
If you don’t give a f*:
Mark Manson – The Subtle […]
In a world full of people,
Filled with hope.
In a world full of needles,
Filled with dope.
Hope dies when a mother
Sees her son as a different color
Lifeless in his bed, undercover
Like his habit, now discovered
And she has another
A tiny boy, a little brother
By her feet, his eyes are covered
He shakes, and convulses
Mom cries, there are no pulses
He was dead at least all day.
That’s what the medics say.
He wanted to stay
While they went on vacation.
They missed him for the whole duration.
Excited on the drive back home
Didn’t know they’d be left alone.
In a world full of people,
Filled with dope.
In a world full of needles,
Filled with hope.
How is it so possible to feel so alone.. when we’re supposedly so connected.. I go here to vent to rant to just get it off my chest. Say something anything even if nobody’s listening. Even so, it’s way better than bottling everything up in my soul. Feel like at any moment I’m ’bout to blow. Where’s a gun when you need one? All I have is this imaginary one replaying in my head. The sweet release of death. Oh how comforting it feels. Like home. The warm embrace. The darkness where everybody acknowledges who I am. Among the ones who felt the same. Wish […]
I use poetry to help me heal by processing events and emotions. I’d like to start sharing it, but I’m not sure the content is suitable for most poetry forums. so I’m posting it here, as it is a safe place for people like me.
An all-consuming desire,
a rage bubbling deep within,
a need- twisted and contorted though it may be-
needs to be fulfilled.
to be set free.
with an ancient elegance, a cunning
that exceeds the silver fox’s,
with eyes of the playful devil- its unlocked
snapping her neck with a skilful stroke,
feeding snakes between her lips
flicking on the switch that brings her
Before she was aware, she moved across seas. Of course she wasn’t aware, she was only 3.
By the age of 5, she knew something wasn’t right. Protecting her siblings while her parents fight.
From K to 12 she struggled without support. But even with uneducated parents, her grades were in good report.
Her home-life however, left much to Desire. Constant fighting and screaming and emotional fire.
At the tender age of 8, she would lie in bed, wishing she were dead.
Withdrawn and silent, she turned 14. Dragged to the psychiatrist for her mind to be seen.
Finally diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression. She was given drugs, but to her […]
When I was four
My mom would squeeze me into a suffocating dress
With ruffles that would make me itch
Like pins and needles jabbing from every stitch
Until I ripped it off without a sigh
While a tear rolled down my eye
When I was seven
My mom would paint my nails
Colors of a blooming flower
And for that hour
She would restrain my small hand
Becoming as rough as the sand
Until it became dislocated limb
One I could never put back in
When I was nine
My mom would make me play with Daisy
She would give me a death stare and act crazy
Since I took a while to pick up the Barbie […]
constricting vines have me
strangling my throat
cage my heart
pin my limbs down
the ashes are here now, insular and broken
when self doubt is at the forefront of the mind
when one is disinterested in everything
when the idea of a good life becomes a nuisance
the only strong desire is a silence
there are solely destructive ways to make it quiet
starving and imprisoned
i will one day leave this place
i cant wait for the day i am sated
short sighted infatuation became something to see through
teenage naivete smashed, the beauties became mundane
the absurdity of the experience leaves its […]
i lost my grip about 5 years ago, i started thinking that everyone i loved hated me, that they would leave me, and so i pushed them away.
i had been through a lot of trauma with the people i loved, people we loved had killed themselves and as we always took life as it was a little harder than the rest, i thought they would understand, that they would stay by me as i had stayed by them, that they might help me out. they could not handle it and i manifested the abandonment through my paranoia and dramatic cries for help that no one […]
and you will stay awake
alone and in the dark
for hours on end
waiting for him and wishing for him
while hes sound asleep,
not wasting a single thought on you
and when you finally get some sleep,
he’ll wake up
and his first thought will be of you.
his first feeling will be regret
for not seeing you when you were right there.
do not go back when he comes for you
or you’ll be wide awake,
wishing for him once again
when he re-forgets you.
t.a.-g.n.
Even after every day you didn’t talk to me. Every day you told me you hated me. That I should leave and never come back. After every day I tried to say I was sorry for my shortcomings, and every day that you never forgave me. Every day you never apologized for your own shortcomings, for the bullying and the heartbreak, for every time I tried to share my life with you only for you to throw it back in my face. Every day you told me I looked like a whore when I put on make up when I didn’t feel confident; every day […]
The worst part about finally achieving the happiness and contentment that you’ve always dreamed of is feeling it slip through your fingers. Feeling the hand that had found purchase in salvation lose its hold and force you back over the edge. Feeling the safety harness around your waist and in your chest snap. Feeling yourself slide down the steep slope you’ve fought your way up for years. Feeling your fingernails tear and bleed as you fight for purchase on a cliff so smooth you can see the scratches you’ve made reflected in your own face. Feeling your body hit the ground so hard you’re not […]
Suicide – it’s something I’ve thought about for a while, but only from the perspective of escape. It seems like a way out of all the pain that is life. Most people don’t experience life this way so they won’t understand when I call life pain. “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” So true, Mr. Goldman, so true.
Anyway, I started watching 13 Reasons Why without any expectations other than the main actor reminds me of a young Freddie Price, Jr. Am I dating myself there? Probably.
Probably no one will read this, and that’s okay. In some ways, I […]
Do you know what it feels like to have the last person you would say goodbye to if you killed yourself tell you that you’re a terrible fucking person? I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like your chest caving in on itself, your throat being torn out by the vocal cords, and your heart being crushed under the weight of unspoken words. It feels like fresh makeup running in lines down your face and like each heartbeat is a damnation, an act of sin. It feels like dying in the worst possible way and makes the noose you tied from your […]
Sometimes, late at night when I can’t sleep, I read suicide notes. Maybe it’s a morbid interest in what people’s last words to the world were. Maybe it’s finally being able to sympathize with a group of people, even if they’re all dead. Maybe it’s my way of preparing for my own note. I don’t know what it is about them, but I love to read suicide notes. I’ve read so many in the waking hours of the morning that they seem to blend together. Like the one from the 16 year old boy begging his parents for forgiveness. Or the one from the old […]
Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !
Human’s imagination is better than reality !
Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi […]
One.
For the sadness that lies deep in my heart,
And for the freedom that’s about to start.
Two.
For the hurt I’ve felt for 6 long years,
And for those long nights filled with tears.
Three.
For the emptiness I always feel,
And for my soul that will never heal.
Four.
For the broken smile I always fake,
And for my joy that always seems to break.
Five.
For a life I no longer want to live in,
And for death to take over and win.
Twenty.
For my last breath I will ever take,
And for my eyes to close and never to wake.
– A.B
Just a little background information: The countdown are not seconds, or time in general.
Noone cares, I’m unwanted
By their smiles and stares I am taunted
Are they fake or are they real?
I’m left crying into my meal
Hurting, dying from inside
Flirting with the divide
Between life and the void
Maybe if I was employed
I would be happier
But life keeps on growing crappier
With every breath
With every blink
I feel like I’m living death
I’m on the brink
Help me please
I need it
I have a lot going for me. I have college ahead and an amazing boyfriend. He gives me the world and loves me more than anyone else has. I know that I love him. But it feels weird sometimes because I go through these moments where I don’t feel anything and I don’t like it. I love him more than anything but when I feel nothing, I am so mean. I forget that people have feelings and I lash out and act like a flaming ****. I hate it but when I’m this way, its like I’m moving through a daze and I am just […]