I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
Rants
I have lost the will to live it takes alot to make me smile and hardly anything to upset me. I have no energy anymore have lost intrest in my favirote things. I first started starveing myself around age 16 because i always felt fat, ugly and stupid comared to everyone eles. Ill go a couple days without eating then give in and consume a sick amount of food only to feel horrible afterwards. Food is an enemy i regret every meal i eat.
Self hatred has caused me to cut myself which turned into an everyday vice. Iv developed a blood lust waiting and […]
i suffer from:
depression
social anxiety
trichotillomania
anorexia
self harm
severe self loathing
daily (hourly) suicidal thoughts
and i’d say all of these have been keeping me from living my life the way i want to, they cause me to hurt others emotionally, and they’ve all been getting worse. i don’t know if i consider what i’m doing living, but rather merely staying alive; always wishing to drop dead any second.
Hey everyone.
I am so unbelievably unhappy that words cannot describe the myriad of emotions (or perhaps lack thereof) which plague me with an intensity that is almost incomprehensible. However, I currently have the urge to try to do so for reasons that I do not know. Â I am not begging for attention, sympathy, or pity. I am merely using this post as an outlet for my own thoughts and emotions which I cannot express by any other means than by writing them down. Then again, perhaps I am subconsciously attempting to incite empathy, to offer others a glance at my own perspective with the intention […]
I realize a ton of other people are in the same boat as me; up to their eyeballs in debt. I think the baby boomer generation really phoned it in on being parents. My parents were awful when they divorced. I turned to drugs and alcohol. After the divorce, my Mom turned into an alcoholic and my Dad has been diagnosed with severe depression and is on disability. A part of me thinks he fakes his depression so he can just be lazy and not be my father. He ran off to Florida. I am pissed off at my parents. I think they should never […]
I am 45 years old, I have been clinically depressed since I was 17. Â It has been a long and arduous path with several major setbacks including 2 long term hospitalization a as a ward of the state. Â The reason I bring this up is that after years of talking with many like minded people and reading dozens of posts on this site there is a common theme. Â Most of us seem to think that at least part of our problem is the fact we just don’t belong. Â Speaking for myself, the pressure to conform in today’s society has resulted in much of my anxiety […]
I am about to graduate with my Master’s degree in Liberal Studies. My parents gave me no direction and I feel like I’ll never find a job with this degree. I am worthless to society. I don’t want to drain the little resources my impoverished family has. I wish I could go back in time and major in mathematics, engineering, or biology. I am in so much debt and the college put a hold on my account so I can’t even get my transcript to apply to PhD programs. I tried to explain to the college that I need my transcripts in order to get […]
My mother was diagnosed with caner at Christmas.
I have my A level exams next week.
I haven’t revised properly, haven’t had time to. I’m not using it as an excuse, I’m really not, but the stress of it all, it’s taken up my time. More than anything, my dad has taken up my time. Yelling at me. Constantly. Like it’s my fault she has cancer. And now, I feel like it is, I feel like I’ve fucked up everything, because he seems to yell at me for everything now.
And nobody cares about my depression. It feels disgustingly selfish, but I do hate it. I was diagnosed […]
I have no one to share my feelings with except the web where squalling little children are crying about their life and how “hard” it is because their parents “don’t understand them” and yadda yadda yadda. Get over it, you are 12-15 crying that you hate life and you never get what you want. Well, news flash! Life isn’t fair you little shit. You will learn one day as you grow up and it is going to be one hell of a ride but don’t fucking meander around moping how you have a shitfuck life because your parents won’t let you stay out till 2am […]
I was in love with this boy. He had black hair, bright blue eyes, and scars on his arms. He held me in his arms everyday I saw him. He grabbed my hand when he saw hopelessness in my eyes. He kissed me when I felt alone. What else could I have asked for? When we were in bed naked, lying next to each other, he’d kiss the scars on my arms. The bruises on my hands. The burns on my wrist. I was in love, so deep, that I would have never imagined the day to come that he’d no longer want me. Love […]
I just don’t see a fucking point to it all anymore.
Nothing really makes me happy anymore, and what little things that do make me happy will fade away in a few months. My social life is in shambles, I hate my job, and I haven’t been happy for roughly a decade. I’m awkward and creepy and alienating and weak and terrible at everything I do. I’m a waste of space, air, food, water, and resources.
The world and society are awful places. We, as a human race, are slowly fucking over ourselves and our planet, and nobody gives a flying fuck. Some people are born with […]
How’s life they ask
Good I say. Mostly because it would take to fucking long to ever explain what is really going on in my head.
It’s such a general question that when someone asks it it’s obvious they don’t give a fuck so why bother. But here’s to all of the nobody that give a shit about how my life is “going.”
Things are not as swell as they seem. No I havn’t been taking my medication. Yes I am having melt downs almost everyday. Yeah I definitely can feel I’m losing my self. I feel like i’m going crazy. i have no one to talk […]
Someone please read, give me any advice you can. I am in desperate need of it.
This is going to be long, I apologize in advance. I guess I can start by saying I am a 16 year old girl, although I hardly resemble a girl, and very depressed. I have been depressed for almost 2 years. I self harm, but cutting usually, I’ll pull my hair in the extremely emotionally painful moments, or I’ll pinch my arms. Its been a year since I have posted here, but I’m in need of some type of empathy. My family on a scale from 1-10, is a good strong 7.5, we have our fights, but i generally thing we all do love one and […]
I am so glad I found this site, it feels good to read people’s true emotions without the usual responses about how it’s not worth it, etc etc, and it seems there are some success stories.
I have been drawn to suicide since my school years, I got bullied, but lost the attraction to it, some years later after failing and struggling and finally dropping out of university with a massive student loan I wanted again to commit suicide, but since my parents co-signed for my student loan I couldn’t do it.
That debt is long gone, but my new problems are far worse, my parents didn’t […]
how much pain do people expect me to endure? they talk to me as if i should have an infinite threshold. i lost 3 people last month. my partner Brynn. he was also my dom/master. so for people who are part of that lifestyle. they know how hard it is to lose your partner from that kind of relationship. he left me in fucking pieces. he broke down all my walls, i let him in. i trusted him. and he abused it all, and left me a broken mess…and he didn’t even fucking care. then two friends that we shared….decided they liked/love him more and […]
Hi,
My name is Corey. Â I’m 29 years old and because I have no job and no money, the only choice I have right now is to live with my Grandma and Grandpa. Â I’m at a point in my life where I have no idea what to do anymore. Â I have no job (thus no money) and no prospect of a job. Â Nowadays when I actually have the motivation to go looking for work, I never get any callbacks due to having such a poor record with jobs (I tend to quit jobs frequently and have long gaps in my employment record). Â I’m constantly depressed and […]
how can things and situations and life be so wrong and sad. I get so depressed. Im only 17, but i feel like its over. its done. I’m too damaged now. nothing will be good again. i should’ve left when i could’ve. because people will break you. they will tear you apart. until you have nothing. and they’ve succeeded. i have nothing left.
i hate feeling like this. never have things gotten this low, the past 4 months have been hell.
sometimes it gets better for a moment or two. i see hope, happiness and my heart fills with something good, something i wish i could hold […]
in order to save myslef i decided i decided that by the time these 10 days are up i’d need to have: someone, something, and some place to live for.
and i’ve finally got all three.
yesterday i called my grandmother to check on her and chat. we got to talking about my dad’s move. he’s been acting his usual passive-agressive and hurtful self. she feels like a burden. she began to cry on the phone and told me that as long as i was here, and as long as she has me; everything will be ok. i love her. she’s the only person in my life […]
I didn’t go for 3 reasons:
1. I was too suicidal to function
2. I had a dream about my ex boyfriend last night (the only guy I’ve ever loved). We had a long distance relationship and in the dream, we met for the first time. It was so amazing but in the dream we were actually dating. It would be completely different if we met now..I couldn’t have went to school because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to fake the same smile I usually do.
3. Over half of my grade level went to a trip to Atlanta to see the Braves play and some other stuff […]
I’m done now. You can imagine that I’ve said that before, but I’ve never felt it with a hot, wrenching, harrowing finality like I do now. Bitterness, envy, sadness, and anger are all I remember feeling.
There is nothing left for me in living, nothing that I want is in reach, so why bother with the needs? I’m like a pointless parasite that needs to be scraped off the earth. I’m alone here, and I’m both saddened and glad for that because when I’ve killed myself, almost no one will be the wiser. The acquaintances at the edge of my daily life will just feel […]