I am just so exhausted… So utterly exhausted. It’s never going to change .. I don’t think I will ever change I think I’m just always gunna be fucked up. I’m just so tired , so tired of it. I’m so tired of always being tired but not getting to sleep at night like I desperately need all day, so tired of no motivation to do anything . I’m tired of always being sick from lung infections to strep throat, always on a new medication , it never seems to stop. I’m tired of being moody, and freaking out over the littlest things than right […]
Rants
I am so angry with myself, I just want this to stop. I’m mad that I could be like this. I get really angry with my loved one I don’t even mean too … Than shortly after I’m crying about it cause I feel like such a fucking asshole . How can I get so angry with something so stupid, why is every little thing that he does or that happens have to get to me? I want it to change but I don’t know how to control it, and I try to tell him I have no control but he can’t understand because he […]
Hi.. you know my other posts, yeah, them…. well they are  not true, i lie. I do this because i have a sick twisted demented little mind for a bi-sexaul 11 year old boy. Yes, you did read it right, I am 100% Bi-sexual, don’t like it?? Yeah well neither do I. I hate my sexuality. You know deathbug, well it’s funny really because we are so alike, we made sick twisted lying stories that made you fall bad for us, so i would again like to say sorry to all of the people on this site, especially U.N Owen and Holly. I don’t know […]
The start of my first “rant”,
Hm I’m not to good at typing things up about my problems but I’m even worse at trying to talk about them, so here this goes!
First off I just wanted to say please do not judge me or think of me as a horrible person for these disgusting facts I will probably type out,
Appreciated.
Well, for most of my life it’s been pretty hard on my family (mum & dad) especially after my sister was born it just got harder, it’s seemed like they have always struggled with money really bad.
My dad used to work away up […]
kso i am a bisexual girl but no ones knows i am. the reasson no ones knows is because at somepoint most people in my life said the dont like people that are in the LGBT community. i want to tell everyone now but i cant because they dont like LGBT people as much as people who are straight. my stepdad raised since i was born but his family and himself are against LGBT. my mom isn’t because in her culture(and mine) LGBT are seen as more superior. but i dont know if i should tell everyone now.
Hi. I found this site completely by accident. I thought I would say something. Forgive me if it is a bit scattered. I guess I should not complain really. I have more material things than some. I just feel so alone. I am so unsure why I am here. I really serve no purpose. Honestly, I don’t. I want to leave so bad, but reading some of the posts, I also feel if I try to kill myself and fail, then what then, I will be a burden. I just don’t fit in anywhere. I honestly do not want to be like everyone else; the […]
RANT-LONG!
My life sucks. But then again who’s doesn’t, right? Lately I struggle for a reason to live every day. I don’t need anymore freaking guilt trips, so don’t add to my damned problems please!
I am a 29 yr old mother of three. That’s why I am still alive today. That’s it. But its hard to hold onto that when I feel like all my mistakes are messing up their lives. Do you ever feel like King Midas? But where everything you touch turns to shit? I do every day, and I am sure to hear about it too.
What made my life like this doesn’t matter. […]
I’ve Been Wanting To Die Since My Parents Committed Suicide.They Would Kill Themselves For Each Other But Not For Me. I Keep Thinking Of How It Would Feel I Died,How It Would Effect Other People. I Thrive On Pain,But How Can I Feel And See Their Pain If I’m Dead?I Don’t Know,But One Way Or Another Ill Make Them Pay,Two Birds With One Stone. I Stay Alive And Taunt My Parents With Depression And Ending Any Love,While I Feed On My Own Tormented Thoughts And Hurt The Ones Close To Me. I Want To Feel Their Sadness Breathing On My Neck And The Lust For My Life. […]
Just a dumb poem I wrote
‘Stop pushing me away’
It’s just something they always say
But please
Understand
It’s something I must do
Before they get the chance
To leave me too
I cannot comprehend
Why the real ones come back
Why the true ones keep trying
Can’t they see that I’m lying?
Can’t they see that the mask I wear
The walls I put up
Cover something useless and hollow
Not worth knowing at all
But the real ones come back
The true ones keep trying
And I’m tired of fighting
Done pushing away
But I can’t let them in
I will not let them through
I can’t
My mother: she is a mean person. I don’t mean mean like most teenagers do when they say stuff like: “God my mom is so mean she took my phone”. She is horrible to me I get told at least once a week that I am horrible, I am stupid, I don’t deserve to have her love, and I am the worst daughter in the world. I stem the pain of her words with physical pain, pain that I can control. I live a constant lie and I hate every second of it. Every Monday I feel like SHIT and I go to school anyway […]
I’m cutting myself. I’m doing it right now.
And i have realised. I am too damaged to ever be loved.
I hope i fucking die.
From what I’ve noticed, everyone seems to want help in the world. Everyone I know expects me to take the time to help them out with their daily problems. I have no quarrels doing this. I enjoy helping someone else, it keeps my mind distracted.
But you say to much if you even mention that something is wrong in your life and want help. What’s with this society we’ve built where everyone expects help, but no one wants to help you. I hate it, and that’s why I come here. Not to find help but to be able to talk. I know that there are people […]
I want to share my experience with drug use and how it’s only added to my problems, not take me from reality, not make the pain go away. They only add pain.
When I was 13, I started smoking marijuana in my 8th year of school . No big deal to me, even today I still do, but it stopped helping my depression awhile ago. I quit for a bit, and became a ‘goody goody’ per say. In grade nine, I believe I was still 13 , perhaps just trned 14 I started to smoke weed again, since it was fun and all my nerdy friends […]
Okay so i hate when people write selfish things about themselves on Facebook like “I’m so fat” just so people will reply to them.
But i’m not trying to fish for compliments. And i don’t know how to turn off the comments so just don’t think i’m doing that!
Anyway was looking at photos today (which i regret doing now) and i just feel SOOO unattractive, I have never weighed this much in my life. It’s not like i’m obese but i feel like i could be better looking.
I need to try harder. Â I understand that i am always going to be unhappy with how i […]
My name’s Mikaela Guerry. Don’t care who all knows, but I just need some support. I’ve been in love three times now and I’m slowly breaking down into a complete mess. My family is broken, and my friends backstab me. My ex girlfriend is the only thing depressing me. Her name, Emilyn. I met her sometime in July last year and I had a crush on her from the moment I met her. We talked all the time, and went on crazy adventures. Still do. Me and her became best friends after about 5 months. My feelings grew stronger and stronger for her. Then i […]
Day comes, And I’m okay. I smile, I go to work, I laugh with friends and surround myself with good things. I feel like I’m okay.
But then Night comes. And I’m alone. And I can’t cope. I open my window and Half lean my body out of it from my 11th floor apartment.
Why the hell do i feel okay during the day, but night comes and these emotion flood back into me? What the hell?
I’m 20 Years old for Christ Sakes. Grow the Hell Up me.
I used to be able to bottle up all my emotions and then later when i cut myself it wouldn’t matter what mood i was in as it would still feel good.
Although i just cut myself and i felt nothing. I still enjoyed seeing the blood, picking where i should scar myself and then bandaging it after but i didn’t get the rush i used to get.
This scares me, if i can’t cut myself. I have nothing left.
Am i so empty that i can’t even feel my self inflicted pain anymore?
What the fuck do i do now?!
It’s just getting worse… The emptiness is showing.. I feel like I am going crazy, I’m losing my mind to this disease! How long till I fully lose it? It’s becoming more apparent I’ve gone fucking nutso. I’m scared , to break. I can only fight it for so long… How much longer can I hold off? The anxiety is at it’s peak, the depression has never been so high.. The bipolar is starting to come out more. How long till I snap? I’m so sick of this world.. So done with society, so tired of living. No one gets it, at least no one […]
I finally told someone about how I feel. Two of my friends. One of them was really supportive and told me to come to her whenever, the other was a *****. She got mad at me and said that she always asked is I was okay and if I needed help (she never did). Now I realize how dumb it was, they really don’t care that much. All they care about is how they look, not about how I feel. I should’ve just kept it to myself, I’m such an idiot. Honestly, I feel horrible all the time, and then I felt worse. I can’t […]
Everyone in my family hates me. All my friends are moving on. I can actually feel myself falling in with the crowd I said I’d always stay away from. I’m falling in with the stoners and the dealers; me, who used to be so smart and perfect, and who used to want to be so smart and perfect.
But if I can’t get companionship with people who don’t give a fuck what I do to myself, I won’t find it anywhere. Because I hate all of them in my family as much as they hate me. And mostly I don’t miss my ‘friends’.
Fuck it. I just […]