Rants

6

So Very Tired…

  June 10th, 2010 by Shelly

I feel so tired that I wish I could just go to sleep one last time and never wake up again, that would be soo nice right now. And it’s not just a tiredness caused by too many late nights, trust me, it goes much deeper than that. Basically I’ve grown so world weary that I’m tired of life itself and now quite at my wits end for the incessant doubts, fears and anger have really taken their toll on me. Sometimes I think this is all just a bad nightmare and one day I’m going to wake up and everything will be fine, but I …

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1

Hell is a place on earth

  June 7th, 2010 by Just a stupid kid

Where the river runs red,
no one sleeps, but the dead,
with their eyes open wide,
they know nothing of pride,
in this land, despair reigns,
it has people in chains,
but the world doesn’t care,
it doesn’t know that it’s there,
for what it’s made this land feel,
it doesn’t believe to be real.

In the place where the red river flows,
it is only those,
that have lived there,
who can know,
why? People often come, but never go,
as where the river runs red,
all the people are dead.

When the shadow falls,
across your face,
and the crumbling walls,
leave only darkening dust in your place,
there’ll be no one left who recalls,
your realisation, you won’t fall with grace.

Instead you’ll die by …

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2

Trust

  June 3rd, 2010 by Vamp

Why is it that I cannot trust anyone? I refuse to trust even myself at times. I can’t trust my parents, my friends, or even my girlfriend. Am I really alone, or is it just what I believe, regardless of whether I want to or not? Am I truly so worthless, so lifeless, so useless? I wish I could be someone else. Everyday, just someone else. No one understands my pain. No one could EVER comprehend my pain, my suffering and sorrow. No one…

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4

I’m not sure why I bother

  May 24th, 2010 by pointlessburden

I think I’m here hoping that venting out some of my feelings might help me make it through. Maybe make me feel better. I won’t say happy just better.

I’m 37 years old and I’m a screw up. I’m finally the end of  horrible 10 year marriage, with a mentally ill person.

In the past few weeks I’ve seem to have lost just about everything.  The worst being the most perfect person I’ve ever met. She made me feel happy and content in ways I can’t explain, and I thought it was the same for her. Our only problem was distance. And in truth me, I screwed up …

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3

Tired….

  May 21st, 2010 by erased_orion

I’ve been a member of this site for a while now, and really…I haven’t been on this page for about 5 months because I thought everything was going to be fine. Someone helped me stop cutting, I was doing okay at school. And then today, my stupid dad just…

My parents want me to stop going to school because we just can’t afford it right now…heh. It’s nothing new, I’m pretty sure tons of students are facing the same thing. It’s just that…I was going to be a junior in high school. I was so excited for everything, prom and thinking about college. And now, just 3 weeks before …

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2

My Life is a Failure

  May 19th, 2010 by A Lonely Soul

Through out my whole life I was that kid over there. No one ever seemed to like me so I was forced to create an entire personality and live a lie. The one thing the brought me joy was being praised for my intelligence. I even recieved 2 schoarships to my current private school. Well my family is kinda poor so that helped a lot and they bragged about it and I felt a little good. Now I am failing out and might have to leave the school. I’m just a dissapointment again.

Since I was little my only goal was to graduate highschool and then …

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3

  May 17th, 2010 by nicky

Me at my school seeing my dead boyfriend. i think im going crazy.

me: Why did you leave?

him: Because you wouldn’t listen to me.

Me: that didnt give give the right to do it.

Him: yes it did. i told you not to go.

Me:  Come back. I wont do it again i promise.

Him: Its to late im gone. you should have thought twice i just did that to protect you and you just went behind my back and did what you always have done.

Me: But i had to i didn’t do anything wrong you were just to scared to do what anyone else would have done. you …

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1

exactly nothing left just one more to go..me

  May 17th, 2010 by nicky

What if it happens again. What if everything changes. Everything’s gone down a big hill and now its almost over. Since you left every things changed everything including me. Nothings the same i feel nothing sometimes its so hard to see. i do so many things that you would be ashamed of things that you would stop me from doing. But not now anymore no ones going to stop me. i want to die i just want to leave this world full of lies people that cant control anything. i thought that i would never be like this again i promised myself but that doesn’t …

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3

Life is a game.

  May 16th, 2010 by Rockstar8587

You know, why go on living right?

Though I have tried suicide, and was given another chance to live. I am still miserable every now and then, yet there are ways to get over it. Forcing yourself to smile, actually does work; it is scientifically proven. The mind and body work together.

But I don’t know if it is just me, or some of you may think the same. But life is pretty pointless; existentialist make it seem pointless to the extreme, yet are they correct? Even though I may agree, I still see life as an immense possibility. You and I were created, thousands of things …

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2

Generic~

  May 12th, 2010 by SempaiRuinz

Yes, sir.

No, sir.

Yes, ma’am.

No, ma’am.

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4

writer with no voice

  May 10th, 2010 by darkgermandeath

You write down how you feel. but people dont really know how hurt you are cause they cant hear your voice the tune the stutter the pain. suicide is the right thing to do.

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0

Those people…

  May 8th, 2010 by Lock and Key

What’s their problem?
What do they know?
It might not seem like a big deal to them,
but maybe it’s because they don’t know the full story
and haven’t been through anything close to as heart breaking as it.
Some kid comes up to me and says “When someone gets bad grades they cut themselfs or for any stupid pointless reason” I felt so agrivated and sorry. I was agrivated because of him, and I felt sorry because his girlfriend was a straight up cutter like me. I wanted to bash his face in so much, but since I can’t risk gettig suspended I didn’t. He’s extreamly lucky. I hate …

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3

my suicidal tales

  May 5th, 2010 by death4life

i have been depressed for years…since i was 11 and started middle school. god knows, it started with ‘voices’. that’s the lie i’ve told everyone and to this day it haunts me how i can look someone straight in the face and tell a dark and deep lie.

many attempts were made…all included pills of some kind. it didn’t matter which ones…advil, aleeve, tylenol, parents prescription pills, solodyn, sleeping pills, anything.

but now…after years of attempts, about 2 months ago i was admitted into the psych ward emergency room at new york presbyterian hospital and i stayed there for 4 days (it was a cell…literally a three …

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4

Sleeping Pills = Yum

  May 4th, 2010 by Anna

An internet relation of confusion.

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3

Just Some Thoughts For You To Consider

  April 28th, 2010 by veronica

After briefly browsing through the posts on this blog, I immediately became panicked at the number of people who want to kill themselves.

And I’ve been there. I’ve been to that place where your chest feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, where you feel dark and cold and numb and totally alone. Where you feel like no one’s there to help you, no one wants to help you… I’ve been there. And I’ve come back, though still affected.

Depression happens, just for some (like us) it takes a stronger toll. It’s been almost 4 years since my depression first started due to bullying at school. However, I …

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1

Invisible

  April 22nd, 2010 by searching4life

I wonder if there is any impact of me in this world.

I wonder if anybody cared for me.

I wonder if it would matter to anyone, if I am no longer here in this world.

Everyday, my mother will show how much she disapproves of me. Although I was a first class student.

I don’t understand how to cope with my working life, although it’s been 3 years that I am working. I cannot feel my value.

The only person who seems to show some care is my boyfriend, but I think my negativity is so strong that it burdens him.

And sometimes, listening to his dreams and plans, I …

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27

The romance of it all…

  April 14th, 2010 by z

I am in another sway of emotion these days, seeking the idealization.  There are so many people left behind, the suicide survivors that voice this sadness and displeasure, while never really comprehending our lifetime of sadness and displeasure.  I wasn’t cut-out for all of this.  So when I think of suicide, I tend to not think of the disappointment I will cause the people in my life…I mean, I do, but–lately–there is a bigger chunk of me that idealizes the perfect moment.  That peaceful fade that I have afforded myself–through careful planning–sometime in the near future.  I have my way out, just waiting.  Not and …

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5

I know it’s nothing, but..

  April 7th, 2010 by unsuresoul

I actually am quite unsure about what to do. My life seems so normal on the surface, and I don’t have any mental problems (at least I think so.)

But I lost my dad two years ago, he killed himself with the exhaust fumes of his car, not telling anyone what he was going to do before. All he left was a note saying ‘I’m sorry.’ and his flat keys.
And ever since that, I haven’t been the same. Sure, I guess I can still talk to people normally and am fairly intelligent, but everything inside me just feels so numb. Most of the time I am …

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10

Permission To Commit Suicide

  April 6th, 2010 by z

So I finally move out of a horrible living situation and move into a new apartment and bam! I find a roach in my bathroom, albeit small one, but still, a roach.

Derailed my whole “new reality” I was trying to create. Lame. Deflated.

So a couple of weeks ago I told my mother I had a psychologist put the diagnostic manual to my brain and it turned out I have borderline personality disorder and severe depression. She told me not to take such tests. Good advice. But when I told her I was on anti-depressants at one point–a year prior,

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6

  March 25th, 2010 by magp1001

I’ve watched everything I do fail.  Every attempt I’ve made to make this pointless, bullshit, unfair thing I have called a life liveable has backfired, leaving me in worse shape than I was before I started.

As it currently stands, I freak out 10 times a day, and I spend hours every day lamenting and bemoaning my position.

Blaming me for this is like throwing gas on the house, throwing a match on it, then saying that the house was faulty.

This happens *every* time; not just once or twice, but *every* time.  I’ll admit that I’m less-than-perfect, and I’ve made mistakes, but I can’t, for the life …

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