For the last year or so I have trying to get help. I told my doctor how I was feeling and she recommended therapy and my mother refused. I trashed my room and in her anger she took me to the hospital trying to scare me by saying they are going to lock me up or drug me up. She called me a spoiled brat and attention seeker while taking me there. I got a therapist but had to drop her because she was racailly insensitive. But I ask for help and no matter what I say it ends in a yelling match with me […]
Rants
So, idk how to start this but here goes.
(Sorry it’s so long)
I keep going back to this same guy just because he’s the only person who’s ever really liked me for me. He doesn’t ever want a relationship but I always have, but when I bring it up he pushes it aside and doesn’t want to talk about it because he always has an excuse. I know what some people are gonna say, that it’s a toxic relationship or that he doesn’t give a shit and ik all of that but, I can’t get him out of my head. He’s the only thing stopping me […]
I am petty.
My problems are petty. I should be okay. I shouldn’t want to die. I have a loving family. I have people who care about me. I have love and support, but I still wish I was dead.
I have friends who have actual problems, and they’re okay. There are people in the world who have it worse than I could imagine, but they manage. There are people on this website who have actual, significant problems. Yet, I still want to die, even though my problems are stupid and insignificant.
I don’t understand why I feel this way, or why I can’t be okay. I don’t […]
I just want to give up.. I tried killing myself a couple weeks ago but my bf took me to the hospital and they saved me. I just want it all to end! I’m so done with this place !! The only thing keeping me here today is my 2 precious kittens. I don’t know what to do..
Stopped talking to people around me , I constantly seek to them to help me but they don’t understand the way I feel . I will not burden them any further . It’s hard to watch others concern over something they can’t control . They will understand . I feel like they’re just waiting for the day . So am I . I don’t have the courage . Every day gets harder and harder to live through . Problems arise faster than others can be solved . I don’t trust anyone and I can’t rely on myself .. I am stuck in a puzzle that […]
I think that living is loving. And true love isn’t just a couple or something. True love is sacrifice. If you try to take love from others to fill your gap then you end up emptier and the others are missing the love you took. If you give love to others though, even if you don’t have love, if you give a piece of you away; you will find yourself more full than before. Loving is giving what you are missing. Love is really beyond logic, it doesn’t make sense, just like life. However, at the end, love is the only thing that remains and […]
What if Life has no meaning without being meaningless?
What if Life is the meaning?
What if we are meant to be alive?
It may sound obvious but are we really alive?
And if we are not, isn’t it time to become?
I am failing college because I am pathetic. Had to do a machining class and get some training from the head of the shop. I went at the later portion of the week to the machine shop to start on my parts but he said we dont have enough people to help. You need some friends because nobody can work alone and you are supposed to be here in a group, you got bad work attitude yada yada yada. He was right so I just went home. Haven’t gone to that class since. I wanted to cut myself after that but like a little ***** […]
I have so many problems and things wrong with me it’s hard to keep track. I know that this site is for things to do with depression, anxiety, suicide or similar things, but this one is more about other things I struggle with and could maybe find others who can talk to me about it.
So basically it all started that I was born 6 weeks early, a tiny underweight baby who “died” and got resuscitated or whatever 3 times. I mean, bad start right? Well, since then I was sick in hospital for a few months and then still sick after that, just in my […]
ima kill myself and i just thought that maybe somebody should know, so now you all know.
Ugh. I feel like I’m falling behind everyone. Like, I used to be top of my class and now I have a D in WHAP. (AP World History). I can’t answer anything correctly and like, every time I think I know the answer and pick it I end up missing the question no matter how much I study. The AP test is Thursday and I am so so so not ready for it. I’m studying like crazy and I still think it’s not enough.
Like, I’m not even supposed to be here yet I am and then I can’t see myself next year and I can’t […]
You know what, I seriously don’t think I’m supposed to be happy. Like I think my destiny and fate is just to be unhappy. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is. Every time that I feel happy and can say to myself “life is going pretty great” (which is not often as it is) my life just suddenly says “oh, she’s happy, better change that”. Like literally things are finally going good like I can actually say I have friends and I’m happy with them and the way things are going but then now they’ve decided that they don’t like me as much […]
Ok, so this is really weird but, like, I really miss being able to cry. Like I started meds about 7 months ago and since then, I’ve been unable to have a really good cry regularly. It feels like I’m on the edge of a breakdown and I really hate this feeling. Like, I kinda want to go back to last year when I was crying almost every day because at least then I had some way of releasing whatever I was feeling. Like, now my only way of releasing my emotions when I can’t draw or write is through self harm but even that […]
This last semester, I have worked incredibly hard to maintain a decent grade average, and I mean low As and high Bs….only for everything to come crashing down to a C at best because I had another fucking breakdown due to being overworked and dehydrated….literally collapsed and had to go to Urgent Care to be forced to rest, but it doesn’t matter to my school.
If my grades come back the way I expect them to, I’m going to lose my scholarship, and that’ll be it.
I cannot go back home. I’m tired of getting hit and yelled at and told that I’m worthless. If I lose […]
Why am i so fucking weak!!! I swear i almost crued today bc my mom said something slightly mean. I just want to fucking end it. I rewatched the end of 13 reasons why so i could watch her kill herself. It seems so easy. I upset the onky person who seems to care about me the other day and i thought she hated me and im like 90% sure she actually does. I just want to die. I absolutely feel worthless to everyone. I keep razors in the back of my phone and I cut at school bc it makes me very slightly happier. […]
I hate my life. I’m a minor and that means I obviously have to live with my parents. I’m a girl and have 3 disgusting brothers. The only thing I have for myself is my brains which I got from my mother. She’s mean sometimes but she’s the only one I actually truly love in this nightmare of a household. My dad and I had a fight about 2-3 months ago and he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s a fucking stupid middle aged man and an ego the size of a fucking blue whale. I hate him so much, his standards for me are […]
Every thing hurts and I just want to cut. I’m sorry. I feel like everything is just falling apart and I want to tell my mom I have depression but I’m afraid to. I really need a hug and I’m 98% sure no one would miss me and school is getting worse and worse. I stole some pills from my medicine cabinet and I don’t know if I want to take them or not. I’ve been drinking isopropyl alcohol in hopes I’ll get sick enough to go to the hospital and not have to go to school again. I wish I was dying. But doesn’t […]
My life is such a mess right now. I don’t think it has ever been wors than this.
I have never really had any friends and I’ve always been the middle kid who didn’t got any attention, but it had never botherd me as much before. I was fine with just being on my own. I mean i would have liked to have friends but I was okay with it. But I’m almost 20 and I still have no one. I feel so Fucking lonely and I feel this dark hole in side of me which I can’t seem to fill. When I was younger and […]
Im so sick and fucking tired of trying to get through the day.People jus get on my nerves and give me hard times in one way or the other.Im so tired of self motivatin me constantly evryday to keep me frm commiting suicide.But I jus cant take it anymore..Life is harsh and hard.College fkin sucks ….
I will probably end my life next month after I meet up with my family and school friends.Ive been feelin suicidal for the past 8 months or so and i dont really see the point of living.And im feelin too bad bcoz I was really happy and satisfied with my […]
You are my SISTER. You should be understanding.
Instead, you tell me that nothing is wrong with me?
And I am forced to bring up a professional diagnosis and an attempted suicide to end this argument?
How can you say that?