For those who have passed on.
im think im going to end it tonight. i just want to find that reason to live. please help me. sholud i live or die?
Category:
Stories of Loss
S
So yesterday I had sex with the guy I’m madlyinloved with my brother walks down on us mind you him and my brother are bestfriends my brother ordered him out of the house told him they are no longer friends… Bbecause of me. I’m always ruining everything I probably won’t see him again and it’s all my fault feeling like total shit once again.
When you are lost, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. or even a tunnel at all. There is only darkness with absolutely nothing around you. You wander, but cannot see and eventually just stop and stay where you are. There are no paths, there is no hope. When you are lost, hope is a lie made of mere words.
And to be truly lost means to quit trying to be found. You are lost in nothingness and that is all there ever will be. A hole forms, where you burrow into it in the darkness. At least that way, you have walls […]
so the last 3 years i have had an illness and its the most excrutinatining pain you could ever think of, my family dont care about me and i have no friends. im worthless and stupid and death is my only answer. i just wish at least one person will care but no one does. the posts my mum made when i was in a coma was her trying to get people to think she was a caring person but in reality shes not. i have been battling this by myself and i have never had any help what so ever. i give up. i […]
hi, well 2 days a go i woke up very disappointed, i woke up from a coma and now im alive and it sucks! i cant breathe on my own and i have liver and stomach problems. now i have so much pain its not funny. my mum is helping me write this cause i have trouble thinking and writing. i dont see how my attempt survived, i did so much to try and make this work but it failed! i drank a whole bottle of bleech and some other shit as well as takning at least 70 pills, how the hell didnt that fail! […]
I have a love hate relationship with listening to old music.  Some of it makes me so happy, and at the same time just destroys my overall outlook.  I could be perfectly fine and hear a song that strikes a tone with my past, and I am suddenly exhausted. At the same time,  I love to feel that evocation of the youthful emotion.  It shows me that my peak of happiness has already come and gone. Oh the inner workings of music and the terribly sweet memories it brings about.
Constant change.
Layers of reality.
Illusions of truth.
Weighing life.
The sum of one.
A journey’s end.
Some months ago I posted a suicide note. Of course, I did not go ahead with it (suicide).
Although now, I am sure I am dead. 3 days ago (what is ‘time’, really) I dropped LSD with some people. That night I died. I suffered with jesus, felt true suffering, saw what a bad person I was, all my sins. I am constantly hungry. I haven’t slept for ‘3 days’. This world is a materialistic lie. I deserve this pain and suffering.
To all those who are suffering and thinking about ending their lives… persevere. Keep strong. Follow your dreams. Don’t be lazy and help those in […]
Well This All Started In Grade 7 4 yrs of happiness down the drain and its still draining i feel like i cant hold on anymore ive been severly bullied i have anerxia and i just turned 15 on november 11th im only 102 pounds … i have depression i lie everyday saying im okay. when life throw all this bullshit at me it knocked me off the cliff but someone grabbed on to me over the ledge and held on he later died that same year he helped me up off of it .. i lost it i attempted suicide but death didnt except […]
Alicia,
Sometimes going on without you is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I do it. You have no idea how much I miss you Alicia, no idea whatsoever. We were so young and naïve, nothing and no one could bring us down or put fear in our hearts but then I lost you and I found a fear like I have never known. When Paul pulled that trigger, he took away one of the best parts of me, you. Leesh, you were my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime. We laughed over the dumbest things imaginable and did not […]
I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to read my posts and was nice enough to comment with advice it really means a lot to me because I feel like what I say matters. I’ve had something that has been bothering me for the past few days that I need to let out. I’ve been frustrated with my situation lately because I’m just upset that the kids my age are enjoying themselves and I’m being tortured by my thoughts, I don’t mean to complain but I’ve watched a year go by like this and it just makes me feel so alone in my […]
its been a while since ive been online. not a lot has happened. but im getting worst. me and my bf broke up, and there is this girl i just wanna kill. me and my best friend are fighting and ive got no sleep in about a week. im going crazy. i run away a lot during the day and sometimes at night. i think about death more and more. i just wanna die. before they were just thoughts but now it is serious. self harm- if i cut my wrist and hope to hit a vein, it will take hours of painful death until […]
I hate him.
I hate his stupid smile.
I hate his fucking dimples.
I hate his muscly arms, his toned torso and his thighs and calves,
I hate the way my tummy flips when i think about his voice,
I hate his fucking voice, how soothing it is, how it makes me want to dance every time i hear it
I hate how much he makes me laugh and smile, how he understood my humour when no one else did
I hate how comfortable yet on edge i felt around him, like flying in the air but being spun around at the same time
I […]
It’s really hard to have someone come into your life and mean so much and then walk straight out. To go through so much with them and have so many memories. To hear a song and automatically connect it with them.To have dream after dream about them being reunited with you and wanting you back and admitting how empty you feel without them.
That’s how I feel everyday, without him i feel so lost and lonely. It feels like a big rock is sitting at the bottom of my stomach and it swings around and hits my insides to have this pain reverberate through out my […]
I’m writing more because I feel I didn’t express myself enough yesterday. In the beginning of ninth grade year I went to a performing arts school,I applied because I always wanted to follow my dreams of becoming a musician and to me applying to this school was my of feeling like somebody after being bullying made me feel inferior. Once I got there the people I saw were talented and confident and I just lost hope after that and classes weren’t as enjoyable because I kept thinking so negatively so I decided that I would drop the program to work on my skills and come […]
I just ended a year and a half long relationship a couple months ago, and i have met someone new. hes really sweet, has some depression problems like i do.. i like. It’s more of that butterfly feeling in my stomache? we ended up fooling around a little more than i had honestly planned, which made me curious.. does this mean something serious? in a way yes i want it to lead to a relationship, but thats because i am a monogamis type of person. but i mostly just want this to be an open thing, nothing official, but that were “talking” i guess? he […]
Hi all, Id like to share my story and need advice before i decide to draw the final curtain ill tell you my story first.
Me and my girlfriend had been together for nearly 2 years she was the best thing ever to happen to me other than my 6 yr old son, recently we broke up i had kissed another girl and been txting her my girlfriend found out and dumped me. I have a problem with self esteem due to things that happened in my past. She says she wants to be friends and has promised she doesnt want anyone else and would not […]
I can’t live anymore.
I’ve tried to suicide since I was 11, and I was suicidal when I was 10.
I’ve faked a smile, a laugh; I’m good at hiding my emotions. I can act like I’m perfectly happy, when I’m hurt. I can’t help it. I don’t want to show. I can’t speak up. I’m trapped in a living nightmare.
I feel like I have no family. My mom is always at work. And my dad…Him.
He sits in front of the computer and never seems to even MOVE. He’s like a statue, frozen. I feel like I can’t talk. Talking to a statue is pointless […]
I will be straight and will tell you all my whole life story. I live in india so yes i am a black but please dont discriminate. I am of 13 years of age .i got about 6 problems. I know this post is a lengthy one but guys please read. Â I need your help a lot. You might save my life.please help. Please read.
I am currently in class 9th. Since nursery i had been a topper ie always first allrounder. In class 8th i got abit distracted and started spending a lot of time on pc. This downGraded my rank to 5th. My mom […]
I was so ready to eat the berries. But then I got a text from a friend inviting me over next weekend, I realized that I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it because I was weak. I couldn’t make myself do what I know everyone secretly wants me to do and it is killing me. I tried talking to the counselor but everytime I go in there I end up talking a about something else. she can’t help me because twice I was a coward.