For those who have passed on.
im tired of my life, im tired of pain and the bullying =[ ive had a bad week.
i feel alone and suicide keeps coming into my head. how do i keep that thought out???
Category:
Stories of Loss
hello, well as you all know my life is a complete down buzz. if you dont well heres y… i have leukemia (cancer)
i get seriously bullied and no one cares about me. i have not told a living sole but i am planning my death and i need help…
i am seriously ugly now i have no hair and im always purpley blueish like a giant bruise. do you think if i was to dink half a bottle or more of bleech will it kill me i might even add in the meds i take. i wanna give up but then again i want help, what […]
I’ve been suicidal for two years, but during those two years I had reasons to keep going. Yeah, those reasons were few and far between, but they were there. I have virtually no reason to live anymore. I can’t drag people down. My friends – they don’t know about this. They didn’t much know about my self-harm (well, not purposely. If it was my choice they wouldn’t know at all), and they don’t know much about my ED. I find all of this, all of what I’m going though, humiliating. I’m not this person. I never was. I used to be so happy, and I […]
Dear Shekiera,
I words can’t possibly express how much I miss you, everyday I think about you, sometimes with a smile on my face and other times with tears. I remember the first time I met you, you were grade one and I was in grade two. we were both shy, socially awkward and got along great because we didn’t have to say alot to have a good time. back in grade two I can’t remember exactly what we would talk about, but I remember that we used to walk around and talk about “what if’s” and “when I’m older I’m going to’s”. You see, Shekiera, […]
My housemate of 2 years and friend of 10 shot and killed himself in May of this year (2012). Â I was downstairs and had texted him to ask if he wanted some scrambled eggs I was making. Â I heard him walking around, but he never answered my text. Â Later, afterward, I looked at his phone and I saw my text message had been read. Â He knew I was up, he knew I was home. Â Twelve minutes after I sent the text I heard a sound like a box had been dropped on the floor. Â For some reason I noted the time. Â This sound was loud […]
Since I was born my dad has beat me for everthing!! He has made me a baseball player and anytime I would mess up he would probably leave me at the place I messed up and always hit me and tell me horrible stuff ! He even hit me hard if I just got on his nerves. He told me that alot of people are better than me at a lot of things and that i’m not his son. And since 8th grade my grades have dropped by a lot and he tells me that im worthless. My mom barely talks to me.i have […]
i’ve been cutting again, my mum found out and guess what she said! i have no reason to do it im just calling out for attention… that’s what she said to me. how the hell do i not have a reason to do it! i’m dieing litterally heres y i do it…
im in pain
i have cancer!
no one cares about me
my lifes stuffed up
i get bullied
and im worthless
maybe i should end it right now, maybe i should stop fighting for my life. why should i have to suffer while no one cares about me.. am i left here to rott in this stupid hospital with a […]
Hurricane Sandy passed through last night on the east coast where I live and for once I felt calm because everybody was stuck inside,cuddled in there blankets, and just had to wait there for it to pass. I know that sounds a bit sadistic but it’s like for that one night, people sort of felt how I do, anybody else felt like I do?
I’m ugly I’m really ugly. 3rd time of chemo and I’m already really sick, ive lost over half my hair and its terrifying i’m scared I’m really scared. this is causing even more pain. should i kill myself now or carry on suffering in pain? cancer is to hard its awful and i dont see how im going to survive! ive been getting messages that im worthless, ugly, useless, good for nothing and that i should go kill myself. the hurtful things people have said to me its to hard to cope,…. how much longer can i last??? i feel really weak and helpless last night […]
I know that there are so many people that have problems way worse than mine. So, please don’t judge me..
Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. I guess I haven’t done it yet because I’m weak and a coward.
My parents are getting a divorce after 15 years. That’s my age. It really is my fault becuase if my mom hadn’t been pregnant with me, they wouldn’t have been miserable for the last 15 years in a marriage that fell apart.
I just started a new school, moved to a new house. I’m a sophomore. On May 20, 2012 one of my bestfriends got in a wreck and […]
Yesterday I was taking  a walk to clear my thoughts, it was very windy and I noticed that there was more leaves on the ground and nearly all the trees had changed color and it hit me that time was passing by and I felt like I was spending my time wisely, as I kept walking  I noticed the streets felt emptier than they usually are and it was the strangest feeling but I felt like the only person on Earth, then I had an epiphany that I wasn’t getting anywhere in my efforts of trying to get better and that everyday I repeat the […]
Been on SP chat a lot. New faces everywhere… Sorry if its long, this’ll keep you occupied for a while
written by RogueShadow1281
If you want my past look at previous posts.
I choked a lot and now its really making me forget, I’m gonna try to not do it anymore though. If I can since I don’t want to end up brain dead yet. Or forget any more of my memories, its hard enough trying to remember shit. I noticed that Stacey girls post and thought “the desperate teens are here” and its crazy how media fucks us up. I am fascinated with guns and really wanna join the army. There are girls blackmailing their boyfriends cuz they are leaving and getting themselves pregnant to stay together forever. […]
i kind of want somebody to know, please dont give me hate for this. a few years ago, i got this boyfriend… everything was perfect, like honestly amazing! sure, we had fights and stuff, but it was everything i could have wished for… and more! unfortunately… a few months in i started having troubled at home with my parents, and i slipped into depression and cutting myself. the short story of my parents was that my mum pushed me in every direction… she’s an absolute control freak, and it terrifies me. this made her and my dad start fighting, till they nearly split up. yeah, […]
I’ve decided to put off my suicide plans for now for two reasons, the first because of a boy I like which I guess is silly,the second is my mom found my notes and that threw off any upcoming plans.
Living with depression is very hard for me, I’ve tried to understand it but you just can’t it’s unpredictable, sometimes I’m randomly crying and and sometimes I’m crying because work feels over whelming and then there’s the days I spend most of my time sleeping or surfing the internet , and any kind of relationship I had with people is ruined because  I tend to isolate […]
today i found out i have cancer (leukemia) i dont know what to do, i dont have long to live, ive always wanted to die but now its coming im scared, the sad thing is i will never get married, have a family of my own and never have sex.
ive been crying most of the day and i still am, ie cut my wrists about 50 times deep and shallow and i feel nothing. im scared im really really scared, i was going to end my life in a week but now i know i have leukemia i am really really scared. im in a […]
Simple.
It’s not the loneliness – which I can never seem to shake.
It’s not that my best friend – Is who used to be the love of my life and I can never have her.
It’s not that I lost my feelings towards her – while she was the only thing that I cared for.
It’s not my lack of ability to miss or feel – I am fine without them.
Not even the lack of the ability to choose my fate – and being dictated it by my country.
It’s the fact that, no matter what I do, what I try, what I think I want – I get bored of it, I dispose of it, I […]
Sometimes i wanna take the easy way out. Like my Dad. When i was little i used to be so lonley and small, i used to try to semerge myself in the tub and hope i wouldnt give up,and come up for air. I used to yell into my pillow, cry but not just cry.. Soul cry. I like to write alot, hope to make it a Career so, listen up. See, 64 year olds they get a little crazy at that age. My grandma is a old winkley ***** that you just wanna punch in the face because she doesnt hear stuff right and […]
so this is my last post, and it my goodbye post. i guess this just got to hard and all hope inside has died. to all you people out there do not give up fighting you deserve to be happy and live, but i on the other hand do not. ive planned how and when as the last time i did not plan failed. i am doing it in 4 days as i need to get ready and write my goodbyes to family and make things right. the reason why im doing it is because im in physical and emotional pain nd its to hard, and […]
HI everyone, im 15 and im in my final year of secondary school. Last year i got really stressed with my exams that i started getting depressed and having negative thoughts which sometimes led me to cry. Lately me and my best friend had a little fight and we wasnt talking for a while and i realised that majority of the people around me did not like me, so i started getting trust issues because i didnt know who were my true friends and who wasnt 🙁 Me and my mate are now friends and we call eachother “sisters” etc. But lately ive seen shes […]
I have the perfect life. the loving mother, the adorable sisters and the caring friends. what was wrong was always with me.
I hated my dad, he practically abandonned me, its a long story that i dont feel like talking about because ive finaly gotten over it. everytime i was angry, even if it wasnt because of him, i would always end up cursing his name. but then i learned that whole reason he broke his promises, never called and abandonned was because he was scared of my mom. he had such of a vivid image in his head of my mom as a monster […]