Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

1

  March 20th, 2018 by Jean-bean102

I am here. Simply as it is that. For few months, I was thinking that nothing is truly last. I lost someone, a good friend who I care and love very much. The last person, I would expect to lose. It takes me a while for me to recover from that loss. I didn’t want to believe it is my loss. Now I accept it happens to me and it does not matter if I deserve it or not. I simply lost someone and it affects my life in good and bad ways. I still have hard time to look at something I love such …

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2

Suicide Attempt

  March 17th, 2018 by TrulyAlone

I attempted suicide on January 1st, 2018 by overdose. I had swallowed about 15 benadryl and eaten 7 or so tums, and continued to consume them. My throat felt dry and I was crying harshly. I was messaging a few people, but one person continued to message me. They were urging me to drink water, wake someone up, and get someone. I felt sleepy, and my legs were heavy. When I tried to stand up, I felt really dizzy. I woke my grandparents, and was rushed to the emergency room. It wasn’t very severe, but I was in and out of consciousness. In the hospital, …

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2

My story

  March 9th, 2018 by Unsheard

Been on here for like the past 24 hours and slowly realizing i have no hope for getting better i’m pretty much going to always be sad. I need to get off this site and sleep, but everyone seems to tell their story when they first get on and i haven’t done that yet so here we go.

Hi, last year was the first time i cut myself and fell into my deepest depression yet. I had always been sad and felt as if something is wrong with me, hell i can’t remember 6th grade because of how painful it was. But anyway at 13 i …

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4

Suicide year 2014

  March 3rd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and kicks, and make hate …

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3

Glad to be here.

  February 24th, 2018 by Monster1585

So I figured I would share my story. I have been struggling with depression for over 20 years. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed major depression. Last September 2017 I spent 5 days in a partial hospitalization program to try to help me. The Wellbutrin I was taking was upped from 300mg to 450mg. I just was not getting any enjoyment out of life. In Nov. 2017 I found out my wife of 10 years was having an affair with co-worker. She never once apologized or showed any remorse for what she did. I few days later I lost my job that I liked going to …

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0

Back to ground zero

  February 22nd, 2018 by Urm8451n

I went back to my home town. The horror-ed house and the damned “friends”.

I feel like I have to run away. This semester break is short, so I don’t have to worry about being here for long. But….. to be fair? Those aren’t my friends. Those are kids who ditched their friend in great need. I have had flash backs since I got back to here.

I feel like I have to run, run far.

People  talk about suicidal experience – which is good, but they forgot to tell you all about the “before” time.  The time they stood on the edge. How it feels? it feels …

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6

Suicidal family member

  February 20th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

 

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her.  She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs.  She was dying, it was an intensive fight.  She was alone, and my father divorced her.  Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help.  I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground.  I saw her …

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2

An update

  February 16th, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.

~Alex.

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13

Dying to Live

  February 14th, 2018 by Die2Live

So I want to try something.  A ‘Proof of God‘ project if you will…

I’d like to be clinically dead long enough to see the “other side” and if possible ask God a few questions and then be resuscitated.  (If there is such a deity).

This would actually be pretty awesome to do “Live” on Facebook or YouTube.   It seems I would need a partner to resuscitate me after I have been in fact, clinically flat lined with a heart monitor hooked up to verify time of death.

I have some ideas as to how I would do this, but suggestions are very welcome.

 

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12

Febuary 4th, 2018 wasnt my last day on earth after all.

  February 6th, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

two days ago, i attemped to take my life. If you remember, i made a post on it a few hours prior. so, heres how that day went and where i am now.

That day i had waken up around 9pm. By 10 i had my mind made up. I ate breakfast, watched TV for a little while. After a couple hours, i began to secure the rope (i had previously bought it) to my ceiling fan, then i tied a hangmans knot that would so just fine.

I chose a chair and placed it underneath, standing on it with the rope around my neck. My adrenaline …

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2

I’m Crazy, I Should Kill Myself

  February 5th, 2018 by Bettyblossom

Maybe I’m a psychopath. Maybe I truly am mentally disconnected from reality. Lacking empathy. But I want attention. After I tried to kill myself I just wanted to shout it to the world. Why did I want to do that? Why do I want to do anything? I’m useless. Oof, this is a hard one to swallow.

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2

My Story

  February 4th, 2018 by Duncan Walpole

In the middle of august I tried to take my life, I was destroyed by pain and I was so anxious about school especially some exams I had to do in order to be accepted in the next class.

I tried.

I failed, and when my mom got home I was in my bed crying and I had a very bad scar that explained what happened, she called my dad and we went to the hospital and now I’m here.

After everything happened I felt so calm and relaxed, I finally had my mind clear.

Now I have a psychologist but I still feel the pain inside me and …

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11

Coming clean, I had psychopathic needs.

  January 28th, 2018 by Urm8451n

Few years ago, I was a dead boy walking down the school’s corridors. Walking back, forth, between rooms for each class, and from there back to the empty house.

I always had knew what was expecting me at that house.
I always feared from those ‘good’ days. I was so.. under pressure, I could have felt that life is a – if you enjoy today, tomorrow you will be in sorrow, and if you are really lucky, your suffering will start from the same day you dared to fucking smile.

I kept my mouth shut for so long, didn’t feel anyone around me. They were merely humans to …

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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

  January 26th, 2018 by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & …

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9

Pork Soda

  January 20th, 2018 by thetrashmen

So I got out of the adolescent unit of a behavioral health facility

and

I’m lost.

I went purposely, y’know

seeking help.

And I got some?

I felt so optimistic

so productive

whilst I was there

but I got picked up last night

and now I just

don’t know what to do or how to apply anything?

There’s so much to fix

so much to get past

and it seemed so simple there but now it’s just

not?

I had it mapped, planned in the abstract

and no way to truly accomplish anything.

I’m trying so hard to get it together and I’m so pissed that I can’t fix myself in a day

but Rome fucking burned in one.

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5

I feel..

I feel..

  January 9th, 2018 by RiloMor

I know it’s kind of dumb thinking this way. Like, it’s not my fault my dad was not the brightest bulb in the box and I know this. But I hate him for doing this to me.

Maybe it’s me over-thinking things but, from my knowledge and knowing serverl people with disorders physical and mental as well as having researched it extensively.. I just can’t help but think that my father, and his stupied genes gave me all these worries. Hell, my half sister and half brother are even worse than I am after he got married to a lady whose bulb seems to be on …

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4

Looking Back

  January 7th, 2018 by colourandlight

  1. I spend a lot of time looking back. Especially recently.

Aged 9. Started self harming.

Aged 10. Tried to throw myself out of the window (several times).

Aged 11. Couldn’t understand why I was the way I was. What was wrong with me.

Aged 12. Distractions. Life. I wasn’t any better, but things kept moving.

Aged 13. Minor improvements. Self acceptance.

Aged 14. Good. Not great, but good. Acceptance. Progress. Self medicating through reading.

and life continued much the same until last year. Not good. Not bad. Clear head at least.

 

I met someone. We’ll call him Oscar. Or O.

He was amazing. A recovering alcoholic, who’d been driven to drink by the …

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2

Want to hurt myself all the time

  January 3rd, 2018 by Bunnytea

I want to hurt myself almost everyday. The main thing that keeps me from hurting myself is that I don’t want to end up in the mental hospital again. All of my mental hospital visits have been bad or outright traumatic thus far.

So many times, I get so upset at myself that I want to bang my head against the wall. I think “You’re stupid, worthless piece of s***!” and yell at myself and I cry because of how much I hate myself and can’t stand being alive. I have hurt myself by hitting my head before, usually when I was already in a mental …

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0

Trapped

  January 3rd, 2018 by empls

I’ve wanted to die for a while now. On and off. Every time I feel like I’m glad I haven’t done it yet because I might be enjoying some part of my life, it always comes crashing down and leaving me right back to wanting to die.

If I had my way, I would have done it maybe 10 years ago. My mum raised me to be quite religious and now, despite my doubts about the religion, I can’t risk dying just to go to hell on the off chance it’s true. It’s so engrained in me. In a way I suppose it has saved me …

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2

God has answered my prays, I was reborn-ed.

  December 28th, 2017 by Urm8451n

Hey, good day for all of you.
This will be my last post

, because I have changed, and I’m quit-ing this site.
For those who didn’t follow my posts, or read the last posts of mine, I wanted to wake up today, fearless and with out feelings.

Fully honest with all of you strangers: for the last days I have been fighting in my mind, over the control of this body. As if I fought with my “anxiety” persona, which fears failures. Today I guess my other persona won, because I’m fearless. I’m focused on what I want and when I want it.

I’m just a kid, I …

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