Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.


And I’ll go to work, and I’ll go to sleep, and all of the littler things…

  April 28th, 2018 by Triste Foi

A year ago I was convinced I was getting better, that I would never be back to write my pain… It lasted quite a while, enough to trick me into genuinely believing it. The sad truth is that I won’t be able to have the hope I thought I had. Perhaps without a really good year I would have been better off, I would have never envisioned a future with happiness for myself – and now that makes it harder for me to feel this way.
I wish I hadn’t failed last year I wish I was dead I feel so incurably sad [...]
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Failed Attempt leading to another

  April 28th, 2018 by Pained

I attempted where i configured a ratchet strap around my neck.. with my hoodie up to pad my neck tied in the front. I was confident this would work in the outcome of killing me.. this was my very first true real attempt without coming out with any physical or mental injury’s. I remember pacing in and out the room trying to gain confindence to pull it off because i was getting Anxiety on how dark this all was… pushing forward i was ratcheting to tighten and un ratcheting to losen every time i thought i was about to Lose consciousness and the thought while [...]
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Nov 5th, 2016

  April 21st, 2018 by ELECTRICAT

I didn’t know how and why it happen, we were fine before but without me realising he distances himself from me. I can’t even remember what we were arguing about sometimes because he wasn’t happy with whatever i do or say, he will say i am wrong, selfish, slut, ***** and i begged him to stay everytime. Even if it wasn’t my fault i just took the blame and this has been going on for 7 months, i missed him everyday wishing that he will see me as myself.

I made a mistake that he can’t seem to forgive me and he seeks revenge, he made [...]
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Since 2014

  April 15th, 2018 by sbkstep43

Hi Friends (old or new)

So, I have not posted on here in over four years (kinda) when I was leaving sixth form. A lot has happened and  a lot of changes. So get ready for a long update (SORRY LOVES).

Started and stopped therapy Was on antipsychotics (and stopped them because of side effects) Was diagnosed with ASD with Social anxiety and Depression Took gap years from school and started writing a series (maybe one day, I come back and tell you guys I am a published writer (dreams)) Got engaged again but it didnt last (sadly, I really loved her) Had a boyfriend and bought him to meet my family [...]
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Reality is boring ! Real life is boring ! Real world is boring ! Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress !

  April 14th, 2018 by niki

Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.

Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.

I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:

1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in [...]
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Last few months, that thing I have heard from people who care about me.

  April 10th, 2018 by Jean-bean102

Last few months, that thing I have heard from people who care about me.

“Sometimes It takes a loss to gain something beautiful to your life.”

“You are like a vine or plant that are trying to grow and your ex-friend is a brick block your way out and weight you down…You have made so much of a process and she didn’t let herself to move one and grow from it. You are on right path. ”

“You are so sweet person with a good soul. Yes, we all make mistake and that makes us human. I have lived with an abuser for 6 years and you are not [...]
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  April 3rd, 2018 by Eccedentesiastsoul

It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last [...]
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They ask

  March 31st, 2018 by Rosesareblue

They asked me.

“Why do you cut yourself?”

They asked me.

“Why are there scars in your body?”

They asked me.

“Are you crazy?”

They told me.

“Attention seeker at its finest.”

And i sighed. Breathed heavily and walked away.

Whats the good in telling them what my demons tell me what to do, it’s better to keep my insanity to myself.

Because it’s better keeping everything inside rather than telling the world who doesn’t know how to listen.

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Thoughts and Feelings

  March 27th, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

Do you ever have a really intense thought that u desperately want to let out, but the one person you trust the most is the person that the thought will personally effect, so you have no choice but to hold it in and let it eat away your mentality until you’re stuck sitting there at ridiculously late hours wondering the point of anything? I’m so exhausted of living a lie that I’m forced to live instead of letting out the truth. I want so much from life but who am I kidding? I’m never going have anything, I’m never going to amount to [...]
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  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

The world is silent; my heavy breathing is the only noise in the world… it feels weird. Almost like death is watching me, or like there’s something awful going on. Although there’s literally no noise, and no person in sight… I feel really alone and endangered. Maybe I’m just uneased, maybe I’m psycho, or maybe I’m lonely. I feel like god has abandoned us, because miracles and humanity no longer exist. All that’s left is pain, death, shattered attempts at love and the dried soil beneath our feet to remind us of the past we’ve lived; the history we’ve created. Whats happened to the [...]
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Remain calm…

  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

I feel like every inhale I take is just steady preparation for the depression and anxiety and psychosis that’s coming when its time to exhale. I feel like every inhale I take is the last, like it’s the final breath before someone breaks in and kills me, before the whole world collapses around me and everything fades to black, and I become paralysed with numbness, slowly loosing sanity as I fall into deep delusion that everyone’s coming for me. I try to handle it, or hide from it if I’m being perfectly honest, but what happens when I stop hiding? When I finally [...]
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  March 20th, 2018 by Jean-bean102

I am here. Simply as it is that. For few months, I was thinking that nothing is truly last. I lost someone, a good friend who I care and love very much. The last person, I would expect to lose. It takes me a while for me to recover from that loss. I didn’t want to believe it is my loss. Now I accept it happens to me and it does not matter if I deserve it or not. I simply lost someone and it affects my life in good and bad ways. I still have hard time to look at something I love such [...]
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Suicide Attempt

  March 17th, 2018 by TrulyAlone

I attempted suicide on January 1st, 2018 by overdose. I had swallowed about 15 benadryl and eaten 7 or so tums, and continued to consume them. My throat felt dry and I was crying harshly. I was messaging a few people, but one person continued to message me. They were urging me to drink water, wake someone up, and get someone. I felt sleepy, and my legs were heavy. When I tried to stand up, I felt really dizzy. I woke my grandparents, and was rushed to the emergency room. It wasn’t very severe, but I was in and out of consciousness. In the hospital, [...]
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My story

  March 9th, 2018 by Unsheard

Been on here for like the past 24 hours and slowly realizing i have no hope for getting better i’m pretty much going to always be sad. I need to get off this site and sleep, but everyone seems to tell their story when they first get on and i haven’t done that yet so here we go.

Hi, last year was the first time i cut myself and fell into my deepest depression yet. I had always been sad and felt as if something is wrong with me, hell i can’t remember 6th grade because of how painful it was. But anyway at 13 i [...]
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Suicide year 2014

  March 3rd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and [...]
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Glad to be here.

  February 24th, 2018 by Monster1585

So I figured I would share my story. I have been struggling with depression for over 20 years. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed major depression. Last September 2017 I spent 5 days in a partial hospitalization program to try to help me. The Wellbutrin I was taking was upped from 300mg to 450mg. I just was not getting any enjoyment out of life. In Nov. 2017 I found out my wife of 10 years was having an affair with co-worker. She never once apologized or showed any remorse for what she did. I few days later I lost my job that I liked going to [...]
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Back to ground zero

  February 22nd, 2018 by Urm8451n

I went back to my home town. The horror-ed house and the damned “friends”.

I feel like I have to run away. This semester break is short, so I don’t have to worry about being here for long. But….. to be fair? Those aren’t my friends. Those are kids who ditched their friend in great need. I have had flash backs since I got back to here.

I feel like I have to run, run far.

People  talk about suicidal experience – which is good, but they forgot to tell you all about the “before” time.  The time they stood on the edge. How it feels? it feels [...]
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Suicidal family member

  February 20th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.


When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her.  She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs.  She was dying, it was an intensive fight.  She was alone, and my father divorced her.  Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help.  I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground.  I saw her [...]
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An update

  February 16th, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.


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Dying to Live

  February 14th, 2018 by Die2Live

So I want to try something.  A ‘Proof of God‘ project if you will…

I’d like to be clinically dead long enough to see the “other side” and if possible ask God a few questions and then be resuscitated.  (If there is such a deity).

This would actually be pretty awesome to do “Live” on Facebook or YouTube.   It seems I would need a partner to resuscitate me after I have been in fact, clinically flat lined with a heart monitor hooked up to verify time of death.

I have some ideas as to how I would do this, but suggestions are very welcome.


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