Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

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january 27 – 11:47PM

I always give too much To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor They seem happier than me and […]

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the back story

May 9th, 2017by sailorsfight

First of all sorry for posting such a lenghty post i just have so much to tell n i havent done it ever before. So forgive me if i am taking too much of your time.
So in my last post i stated that i attempted ending my life, becoz of the person that i loved the most was asking me for what was more the just hurfull but also too damn insane for anybody i guess. But yes i did have to let it on her what she wants and so did she. This all started when she told me that she has started liking …

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How to kill yourself

May 8th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Okay lets face it, its not that easy. Regardless of the method, whether itd be gun, pills, gassing, jumping, explosion, train or just whatever its really hard to pull through with it. Because lets be honest death is not something that’s a walk in the park. We don’t know how bad its going to hurt, even if its the most “painless” of methods. The fact is only those that know aren’t here to tell. SO.. with all that said. I want to get into detail about what it may take to overcome that fear and actually commit suicide. Lets not even call it suicide, lets …

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fight it

May 8th, 2017by sailorsfight

I am 26 years old, sailor by profession. I am a very shy and let alone type of a guy, had problems making friends as a child. As i grew up i became even more emotional and sensitive. People say i am smart but i dont feel like it, I think i am average. I think i am a kind and a good hearted person but i do get evil thoughts at times and i have to fight to get them out telling myself “those are bad thoughts”. Since my teenage days i have had suicidal thoughts. I have been in ” in love” situations …

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I need help

May 8th, 2017by peachmuffin143

I was a bit sceptical about this site at first. Then I read every post and thought to myself that I’m not alone. I was desperate to fix everything. I was hurt to see others hurt. I tried my best to help them and in the mean time I struggle with own troubles. I HATE to say this…but I HATE that particular person. And I HATE myself for hating her. I hate that I have to admit that I’m weak….I’m insecure. I hate everything. I live for years coping with anxiety and depression.

I met with several counsellors in my life. Now I’m 20 years old …

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I ALMOST LOST HIM.

May 3rd, 2017by Baked13

Him. My best friend, my only love, my everything. I almost lost him to a shot in the head.
I wasn’t allowed to see him in ICU today and I almost replicated his actions just get myself in there next to him.
I am excruciating pain but i know he is too. Emotional pain and physical. I’ve cursed myself over and over for letting him go. Lying to myself that i do not need him and yet he is my support and my back bone.
He isn’t happy. Darning himself for being so careless with his act, cursing himself for being so useless he failed at his own …

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I seen it happen

May 1st, 2017by augusttwentysixteen

PLEASE READ…

I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the …

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WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

April 24th, 2017by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how

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I Will Overcome !

April 23rd, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind like a …

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Tried (twice) and Failed (twice).

April 23rd, 2017by bobbywylie

You’d have thought that, after my first attempt, way back when I was 19 years old (I’m in my 50s now), I may have learned a thing or three. Twice I attempted suicide – wholeheartedly, I might add – and twice some unplanned outside “influence” got in the way. The first time, I was just so alone, very few friends (I didn’t know how to make them), no job, no girlfriend, nothing to live for. I was into drugs at the time – I’d taken LSD (and had a couple of pretty nasty, as well as good, trips), and I was pretty much dependent on dope (grass). I …

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Blossom

April 23rd, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t agree.. threatened like a thief …

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The choice to end my life is mine. The only thing standing in my way is my fear of failing again. I almost died in November I overdosed on aspirin which a lot of people think you cant do but you can. I almost passed out on the bathroom floor but I decided I would […]

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Battle Scars: 2017 Update

April 16th, 2017by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Today commemorates eight months since I have gotten the urge to turn to this forum. At my last visit, I was broken, and quite humorously, at this visit, broken no longer can summate my existence. In exactly one year, I have had few victories and so much pain and deception that I have crawled back into the safety of my introvercy. Since my last visit, (when I was a 18 year old bum, not attending school) I have made some progression. I currently work, go to school and volunteer regularly but my battle scars are still present, Scars that refuse to heal, scars which threaten …

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Has Anyone Survived an Acetaminophen Cocktail Overdose?

March 26th, 2017by Bree9

Has anyone tried going out using over-the-counter drugs, specifically in the acetaminophen category?  (I won’t give specific brand medication examples to prevent my post being taken down). Did it hurt or did you just go unconscious? How did you feel? Did you have organ damage? Were you hospitalized? I want to know what happened but most of all, I want to know if it HURT?

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Blank

March 19th, 2017by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets …

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Failed before I started

March 16th, 2017by Vsgfail

I was waiting for a refill. They refused to give me anymore. I am now stuck. I don’t know what to do.

I need to do more research. Why can’t we simply choose not to exist?

I simply want to sleep and never wakeup.

So back to square one.

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New to the site

March 3rd, 2017by TrIeD2mAnYtImEs

I’m a 37 year old recently divorced recently homeless recently incarcerated recently fired bipolar schizo affective civil engineer. I’ve been searching through the internet, found this site and signed up today. The posts I’ve read today helped me through my depression that i face for about 40-70% of each day. I had a rough childhood and had my first suicidal thoughts at 13. I fought it for ten years and took an attempt on my life at 23 (pills)…things just got harder. I tried a few more times slit wrists, pyschotropic pills and electrocution. Any thoughts or information on how to navigate the site would …

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Failed hanging & slitting wrists

March 1st, 2017by ThisIsHard111

My mind is my worst enemy. I’ve screamed until I lost my voice over my mind just standing in the kitchen screaming and screaming and screaming! I’ve been getting mental health for years but those people don’t know how to help yiu.

Even when I get myself to a level where I say hey, I think I can live with nyself, MY LIFE GETS RIPPED APART! Every time without fail. Everything ends, no matter how hard yoyo try, even good feelings will pass but bad feelings pass and get replaced with worse. So much crying pain, even physical pain with back problems from numerous car qrecks, …

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5AM BPD/Love/Sob

February 20th, 2017by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

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Mah Story

February 17th, 2017by Killstead

Here I am. Another night, another thought; like the nights before, and like the thoughts before. Only difference tonight being a Google search and bumbling into this website.

Well, sigh. Here goes.

My story starts about 18 years or so ago, back when I was 12. I wasn’t actively thinking about suicide before this time, but they put me on the mind destroying drug Ritalin and the rest is history. It was Xmas eve, and I had made a super potent spicy drink for ‘Santa’. Well, my naive little mind thought I had made the drink so strong that it was going to kill my mother. Of …