That’s what he said to me this morning when he broke up with me. We had been talking/dating for a few weeks and it was damn near perfect. I still had my moment but of course he didn’t know that. We had such a good night a nice long walk in the park a good meal and he took me to see the movie of my choice. We rented a room and we just hung out for the most part, but of course we did the deed. I was so happy and he seemed the same way, but when I woke up this morning I […]
It’s funny how people say they want to help but they don’t. It’s funny how death is a last resort and people always think you’re crazy. It’s crazy that I just drank 6 Liters of water in two hours last night and I’m still alive. Death, find me as soon as you can. If not, I’ll come looking for you again tonight.
So recently I met someone. were officially dating and well its nice. He calms me and keeps me grounded, but i still feel like I’m going to drown, part of me feels as if i have to go, as if even if things get better, my mind and soul has chosen, and that my year is almost up. I haven’t shared with him my plans to go, i doubt i ever will. I hate how everyone thinks that he has managed to fix me already, i seriously don’t see how you can fix me. You cant fix monsters.
anyway, here’s a short story since i haven’t […]
I gave myself a year to see if I could turn things around. I mean I’ve tried new things and experienced more, but none of that really made a difference. I’m still the same hallow shell I was before.
It’s like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You can move them around all you want, but the ships still going under. I haven’t gone under yet, but I can feel the chill in the air from the icy waters I’m soon to plunge into.
Life will swallow me whole as I sink into the depths of darkness. And despite the year not being over yet, I’m […]
I’m Here Laying In Bed Thinking To Myself If I’ll Die From My Virus. I Don’t Know What Kind Of Virus I Have, But I Know It’s Getting Worser Each Day. I Have Nothing To Do, And My Horrible Sister Is Watching TV. And My Dad Still Isn’t Talking To Anyone And He’s On His Computer. My Mom Is Almost At Work Everyday. And Me? I’m Just Doing What I Always Do Everyday, Writing About My Feelings, Thinking About How Sick I Am, And Trying To Commit Suicide. I Don’t Really Know What To Do Anymore. I Wish Everyone Had The Life That […]
First time I’m saying something about it. I mean today is the day, but nobody knows. I wanted someone to know. It’s an interesting feeling walking around, conversing, interacting with normal life people, while knowing without a doubt that I will die today. I’ve ruined everything I’ve touched. I’ve wasted so many chances, so much time. Of my own, and more importantly, others around me. I’m the catalyst. Remove me, all is well. I’m quiet about it now, I’ll be quiet when it happens. No need for a fiasco. I’ve created enough of those. When you know, you know I suppose. I’ve discovered that clearing […]
I looked into everything and decided that I will end my life on my birthday forget moving to nyc and opening a gallery. That dream is dead like my soul and I am not going to waste anymore time…..however I am looking for things to do while I am alive might as well try to have some fun before a greet the gates of hell right…..Sadly my family does not know and the only person I told does not believe me… I decided to do the exit bag however to make sure it works I plan to load up on brooze and sleeping pills. I […]
For all the OZ and NZ fans….good to se;e after 43 years the bunnies won!! Maybe some of us underdogs may take the same result as inspiration to further our lives…unless like me we’re too far gone 🙂
Mistakes, it’s all I seem capable of at times.
Everybody make mistakes. it’s a part of learning. Right? Then why do you always keep on criticizing me? I mean, Stop it. If you can’t say anything nice then shut it. How am I supposed to do something right when all I hear about me is everything wrong??? Just because I try to ignore what you say and don’t react furiously, that doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want. Be sure to taste your words, before you spit them out. Some people will never understand that. And trust me, those people are so gonna regret it.
i can’t believe what my life has become, the realisation struck me maybe two or so hours ago that i have become a stranger to the people i cling to in hopes that ill be well enough for them one day. im here but im not. idk. ive realised what my life has become. and i can’t change it. i cannot cope outside these four walls I’ve been mercifully given. thats the worst part.i can’t change it. what’s the point. you ever seen into the wild? im gonna do that save up what money i have till there’s enough for me to go find […]
I just dont understand, its not that i dont want to, or dont have the will, but, i just want to stay and its so hard… I’m sorry of this is how you guys feel, i really am. I can’t help myself, i can’t save you, i just, well, i cant do anything. I can’t imagine going on like this, not without Makaila, she was my best friend, she was my anchor, she was my everything, but she had to leave us, not on her own choice, she had gotten in a car accident, a little over a month ago, and was dead on […]
Some days I feel like my chest is being crushed by all the love and care I would have wanted to give someone. Even now my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars, and no laughter and no sleep.
Some days I wonder if ppl just can’t see how wonderful they really are.. even burned out, or damaged.. There is such beauty in a strong beating heart inside a good person.
I’m so sick of being worthless and blown off. I’ll never be good enough for anyone
One day, I realized he might not exist. My soulmate, I mean.
I realized there might not be someone walking around this earth just waiting to meet me. Someone with a private world just as intricate as mine that, one day, I would get to share and be a part of and know.
And I realized I was keeping a vacant spot in my heart for this person who might not exist. That I wasn’t allowing myself to be whole because how could I be whole with my other half missing?
Like I Said Before.
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY LIFE SO STOP SAYING THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME!
I DON’T LIKE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO GET TO ME.
I’M SICK OF IT. JUST STOP.
I WISH I NEVER IN MY LIFE EXISTED!
KILL ME.
I Hate My Life.
I Hate You.
I Hate My Family.
I Hate My “Friends”.
I HATE EVERYONE.
Stop Making Me Cry. Stop. Just Stop.
[…]
Sup.
Hi There.
I’m Not Perfect.
I’m Not A Millionaire.
I Have My Ups And Downs.
I Don’t Have A Regular Life Like You.
I’m Sick Of Being Teased And Bullied By Everyone.
I Am Very Suicidal To Myself And Hate Everyone And Myself.
I Don’t Have The Dream Life Or A Perfect House Or A Perfect Boyfriend.
I Don’t Hide My Cuts And Scars Because I Want People To Know That I Am Who I Am.
At Times I Can Be Friendly And Cool And Okay, But At Sometimes I Can Hide […]
No more tears and no more trying. Trying – what does that mean? – Trying to find a place to fit in, trying to find some peace – just a comfortable place in this life – not looking for perfection or paradise – just a comfortable place … it just doesn’t exist anymore! So why keep trying enough of the pain, enough of the hardship, enough of the harassment, threats and harm. Enough of trying.
I look back at my life and consider how did it come to this. I used to be okay, how did it change – bit by bit over 20 years – but, not now too much agony […]
This is my middle part of the story of how I started being suicidal….
So, After A few years, like.. about more years? Yeah. Well, I was ten and I started listening to new metal.. like Pierce The Veil (PTV), Sleeping With Sirens (SWS), Blood On The Dance Floor (BOTDF), Falling In Reverse (FIR) And Etc.
Yeah, and well the only reason why I was listening to that kind of music was because I got tortured by everyone around me… Even the people I loved…… My sister, My mom, My dad, And Even my “Friends”.. When I realized they never loved […]
I feel as though i keep getting chases to “start over”… however i end up either back in the same place or missing where i was before. I feel like even though i have change of scenery all my baggage (especially of the emotional kind) always keeps me revisiting my past. I need to let go and move on. I dont belive in forgetting your past but for my case I dwell on it so much I need to completely push it back into the “vault” and only revisit the past when I have my head and life together; because right now I am just […]
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