I started out in a hell hole. I was born to a family that was a mix of two. One brother from my mother and one from my father. The one that lived with us was James (names have been changed). I was two and james was 10. So, one day our parents up and left. James had to look after me for about a week I think. When they came back, they were mad. The mother threw me into a window. My brother tried to protect me and ended up getting all his fingers bent backwards for it. Next door heard the screaming and […]
Hi everyone, I would just like to share the first step I’ve made for my 6year long major depressive disorder, I’ve been pretending I’ve been okay for the past 6 years I’ve dealt with my depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 11. And yesterday was my first therapy appointment, I’m ready to be happy.
You’re welcome.
It’s funny: people talk about how easy it is to find places on the internet about how to kill yourself. But, when you go looking, there’s actually very little. The “joke” sites far outnumber the serious ones. In fact, the only true serious one I’ve ever found is lostallhope dot com. It alone appears to have serious and well-researched information available on different methods.
But I’m serious about the Vipassana meditation and that book I mentioned. It sounds clichéd to say that “it opened a whole new world for me”, but, well, it opened a whole new world for me. And mindfulness meditation really is […]
Hi, everyone. I just joined this site. I just NEED to tell someone about my feelings. I’m 15, male, and ready to die. I haven’t lived a hard life, so some might find me selfish, Whatever. I’ve been fighting my depression for four years now, I had counseling once, and I felt better for a while. But it didn’t last. I’m ugly, boring, and not always a good person outside, but hidden deep within myself is the heart of a saint. And this cold, dark world has chewed me up, spit me out, and pissed on the remains. My family is a good one, My […]
Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]
Congratulations Cattygirl, leader of the free mind. You’ve not only led yourself into a distinct glass case of personal emotion, but you’ve also blinded yourself from the opportunities of ever getting out.
See, you’ve met someone. Not in the romantic sense, but a new optimism. He sees the world in you. The world of chances, the world of past regrets molded into morals. And you’ve decided, through lack of individual distinction that you will give this boy your undivided attention, whilst also shielding him from ever knowing the real you.
But who honestly is the real you? Do you even know anymore? All this talk of moving […]
And that makes me sad, sort of.
My middle name is Maree, and I’ve had serious depression for about three-and-a-half years now. I believe the causes have an older age, but most of it is a bit foggy. Do I write “had” depression, as if it was an object? I had a hat that I used to wear everyday, no matter the weather, but now I don’t anymore. Or is it more of a condition: I’ve been depressed for three-and-a-half years, and the fact that it hasn’t let up tremendously shows it’s more that a bit of the blues.
I’m straying from the point. I don’t know […]
The dragon
Roof of scales
What is the
Message
To symbolize
The warrior of
The golden fire
The trident
Of sentient
There once
Was a war
Claim of all
The spawn
Has arrived
The growth
Of algae
Satan’s era
Forgotten
Forsaken
Blind
If my dog
Surpasses
Can you take it
From the border
Marowak’s bone
Of saint
As strong
As iron
Sudowoodo is strong
As hard as a rock
It can shield against
The awesome Scyther
I freaking like
The Primeape
…
It’s funny I’m sharing my story here, cause just a couple of hours earlier I registered on here and actually posted a topic to clear my doubts regarding the suicide method I was opting for, at which I was politely told by a member here that this site is not appropriate for it. I’ve read multiple stories here, and I understand their pain, and I see they feel better having shared their stuff so I’m just trying my luck out as well, hoping I can resist the urge to die.
This basically refers to my two friends (C and M, I’m not gonna reveal the names […]
Two month going strong. To months I had enough strengt in me that i could actually feel, but it was slowly deteriorating with every little thing that happened it took a little bit of stength away till i finally hit my breaking point. The point where all the pain caused me to go numb. I needed to feel something. Love wasnt gonna happen happiness was a long way away sadness has been around to much and decided to go on vacation. Even my good friend fear wasn’t around. My best bet was pain. As i sit in a room only dimly lit only by the […]
*poof*
i confided in 3 people about thinking of hurting myself, and they all judged me and abandoned me. i can never tell anyone about these feelings ever again i see. people always judge me. i lost friends and its like i never had that many friends at first. i wish i never told anyone, but just killed myself. it hurts deeply.
Ok let be real
our life is suppose to suck
If you think no one wantes you
your wrong
your parents love u
if they dont so
they’re just people
im 100% someone likes you
even if its 1 person
Listen if you lived in peace
Then your life is going to be boring
find something you like
i like singing and playing piano
that help me
you have to find something that makes you happy
watch apple dance that should help if your sad
i seen it work
1 girl was going to take her life and she watch that
and she started laughing
i hope you dont take your life
i hope
…..i hope
-brian
I’ve decided that night time often is the worst time of day for me. How cliché – the worst comes with the darkness. I don’t like the dark. I’m sat in it now, with the dim light of my laptop illuminating my typing fingers and not much else. I try to familiarise myself with it, to know that I’m safe in my room when it’s dark just as much as when there is light.
I don’t know why this fear came back. Honestly, I do not understand, I got over my fear of the dark when I was a kid… but this past year or so, […]
Let me ask you a question. Do we like being miserable? I am writing a post on a suicide website. How does that strike the average individual? Obviously there is no such thing as an average individual. Members of this simulacrum of grief, of this meeting place of agony, come from very diverse and varied backgrounds. Some may get help and move on. I’m willing to bet a small percent have actually killed themselves. But why does any of this matter? Well nothing matters. You have seen a person on their last day. What does a person on their last day look like? Usually unremarkable. […]
One year ago today I was faced with the most difficult task I’ve ever had to do in my 21 years. With the help of amazing men in my life, I checked myself into the hospital for 8 days where I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 Depression. Following those days, I began a long road of outpatient therapy. I learned to value myself, to care for others in ways that would no longer hurt me, and to believe in what I have. I made some incredible friends along the way. This adorable kid we call “Ducky” gave me hope when I walked into the […]
I’m 18 years old, and I’m done with life. It all started when I was 12. I started self harming. I’m not really sure why I started, but I couldn’t stop. Anytime anything went wrong, I would cut. 6 years later, I’m still cutting. I can’t control the urge, ive tired so hard to stop… but I just can’t. I’m covered in scars. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors, every kind of mental health professional you can think of and they still can’t find out what treatment works for me. They’ve tried it all. I’ve been sexually abused by a man who is still walking free, abandoned […]
Tired of trying. Tired of crying. Just a lost soul who is waiting for the end. The hurt that is going on inside, no one tries to understand. They all say, “Just get over it and move on.” but how can you get over feeling dead inside?
HELP!!! Please see the signs, i need help, support. I am sick, depression is killing me, slowly, surely. When I talk you ignore and pretend everything is fine. You judge and blame me for being weak. All those times I stopped crying and pretended I was fine, all those times I confused myself by not permitting myself to show emotion was because of you. I am afraid of sharing now. Most of the times I am numb I don’t know what I’m feeling or who i am. I have killed myself slowly emotionally, because when I needed help, understanding, sharing,love you didn’t give it to […]
In the year 2010 I had two psychotic breakdowns and was forcibly hospitalised twice.
These were a direct result of my best friend and my partner turning on me, ganging up (with others) against me and leaving me in the ditch.
I kid you not.
The story’s too long. I haven’t the strength to tell it now. But yesterday with my new counsellor I managed to get it out somehow.
I no longer dare put my trust and faith in any human being.
I’m still haunted by the nightmare of that year.
I isolate myself. I’m still friends with my ex partner (because otherwise I would have basically nobody), though he […]