As I sit here writing this all I can think about is the medication I want to overdose on. I’m a very easy person to talk to, I’ve been taken advantage of and at this point I’m really ready to be done. Life as I know it could quickly end. I’m 16 and have been to hell. My parents caught me my first attempt and thus putting me in therapy because they said I had lost it.  How can I make it stop

Ever since I was a little kid maybe just 5 years old I was always extremely depressed. When all other kids were thinking about growing up, getting a job married etc. the only thing I would think about all day every day is “I can’t wait till I die” I always would tell myself that I won’t live to 18 then I said I won’t live to 21. As a kid my dad was very abusive towards me my mom and my siblings. I have a neurological disorder that makes me grown little bumps on my body. It causes me to walk slightly slanted forward […]

Ever since I was a little kid maybe just 5 years old I was always extremely depressed. When all other kids were thinking about growing up, getting a job married etc. the only thing I would think about all day every day is “I can’t wait till I die” I always would tell myself that I won’t live to 18 then I said I won’t live to 21. As a kid my dad was very abusive towards me my mom and my siblings. I have a neurological disorder that makes me grown little bumps on my body. It causes me to walk slightly slanted forward […]

:'(

I have read some of these posts and I identify with you all and I truly feel for you all. Many of these posts mention regretful and hurtful actions committed in the past. But what if you haven’t done any of these things and still continue to suffer daily? What if you are the guy who got straight A’s? What if you are the guy who is always loyal and decent to everyone? What if you have never done any drugs? What if are 31 years old and have never had one real friend? What if you live a completely healthy lifestyle, but continue to […]

If I were to die, who would care?

I’m sure someone would care, for a few minutes, but honestly, who would really take it to heart because I meant something?

My family might care for a minute, but they would forget about me, probably within a week.

I don’t really have any friends, and I know why. I am a jerk. I am worthless and stupid and I have no purpose. So, the people who are “friends” with me are friends with me out of pity. They would probably be better off if I died.

I honestly can’t think of anyone who would […]

I never thought it would come to this
I never thought I would cry
But now I’m finally broken
And now I want to die.

I’m bound to this earth with the feeling of regret from past events. My family doesn’t make the fact that i hate every part of my being any better. Sometimes i wonder, Why didn’t my mom leave my drunk dad? I mean she could have left him and spared my childhood memories from this twirling downward spiral of pain. I just wish i could have had a better time growing up. I only had One life, One childhood, One family….i could have had a chance at being happy if my mom left him……Happiness? What the fuck is the feeling of “True happiness”, someone please explain, […]

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]

I’m am going to kill myself in the next few hours, I just don’t know how to deal with the pain anymore and I’m tired of feeling so lonely, ever since my friend passed away there has been nobody there for me and I just bother people anyway. So, I guess this is goodbye, I’m sorry I never knew you people better and I wish I could’ve met how wonderful people you all are but It’s too late for me now. I just wasn’t strong enough.

If I don’t respond tomorrow with a post, you know that I’m already dead.

It’s all lost.
The hope.
The love.
The truth.
I only asked that I could be happy, and I get a life full of loneliness, hatred, and failure. And as I was watching my own demise, I saw how much I had ruined other lives in the process. I tried to repair it, I tried to come back and fix it all, but it only showed how little I could accomplish. In my downfall, I had friends for a short period. Or at least I thought I did. The truth was they felt sorry for me. They saw a helpless little shit, and thought they […]

It’s a shame that it had to be this way
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry
Maybe I’m to blame
Or maybe we’re the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
~Secondhand Serenade; Goodbye

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you
It’s not like that at all
~Avril Lavigne; Wish You Were Here

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye
~A Great Big World; Say Something

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough
For you, for my friends, for anyone
I didn’t know much […]

I need to get out of here. Can I come over, hang out, be friends, maybe share rent, and never come back again? Somewhere in the western half of the U.S maybe. Please let me know.

I dont know if i should end my life because their happy moments but sad moments in my life. Sad moments for me is when i get bad grades and school is so stressful or the times I hate my parents for doing unfair things. For happy moment is going to the movies with mom because thats the time where we actually bond and laugh and I love those precious moments.

well, the hotline helped a bit more this time around. I still want to slit my throat though. Ugh. I hate these demons.

I’m too scared to kill myself. I’m afraid that I’ll fail, and end up screwed in some way. I don’t have much to live for, with a family that cares to much about the unimportant stuff but doesn’t care about what matters and friends that lie to me and try to make me jealous of them, and social anxiety that’s almost crippling.

My dad left my mom and I when I was 3. She found a guy when I was 8, and at first he wasn’t so bad. Now, he blames me for everything, even stuff I didn’t know about. He forces me to clean everything […]

Just sinking so low. I haven’t written in my journal (which I’ve kept since I was 15) since that night. that fact in itself scares me. I don’t want death, I’m certain of it, not when my head is clear. But I just urt so bad, nearly every morning I wake up and brace myself for the wave of misery, hope it’ll be over fast and won’t keep welling up on and off all day.
I am… no nice way to put it, I am a failure. I’ll be 29 tomorrow. I ave never been able to have a relationship in my life: just the […]

Whenever something bad happens in my life I dont have anyone to go to. If my friends or family try to give me advice i pretend to listen and to understand what they’re saying. It’s just they dont understand what I go through even though they think they do. I always so they have to experince it for themselves to understand. I love my two three main friends because they listen and one of them kind of go trough the same shit everyday like me.

I mean, it’s only the right thing to do before you attempt anything…you may come back, you may not. And if not you want to make sure you sincerely said your apologies

It seems as I get older, life just gets worse. Reality becomes more…well, real. I don’t know if I sound crazy or if anyone else out there wants/thinks the same as me but tbh I really just want to live in a beautiful fairy land where no bad happens, no lies, cheating, murders, etc.
I want to go somewhere far far away from reality and this evil world full of evil people who don’t give a damn about anything! I do not belong here, my soul has never belonged in such an evil place. I am so different to everyone I know and meet:/ I […]