‘Ask him why there are hypocrites in the world.’
‘Because it is hard to bear the happiness of others.’
‘When are we happy?’
‘When we desire nothing and realize that possession is only momentary, and so are forever playing.’
‘What is regret?’
‘To realize that one has spent one’s life worrying about the future.’
‘What is sorrow?’
‘To long for the past.’
‘What is the highest pleasure?’
‘To hear a good story.’
— Vikram Chandra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVtPLBqjxGk
I am writing in this for the first time and all I can think is why? why is suicide bad, why am I living to write this? I should die, its not like anyone is out there waiting for me.
When you know how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, then we can talk.
When you know how hard it is to even keep breathing, when all you want to do is stop, then we can talk.
When you know how hard it is to believe that life will never get better no matter what you do, then we can talk.
But right now, all I hear is noise.
Life should come with a disclaimer
“For entertainment purposes only”
Maybe means I don’t know
Maybe means I think I’m giving up
Maybe means somewhere deep inside I’m still fighting
Maybe means yes
Maybe means no
Maybe means goodbye
Maybe means hello
Maybe means everything
I havent posted in a few weeks but thats because i was getting better i made plans and i was supposed to be going to my friends 21st tomorrow but then tuesday we argued because i asked her why she hadnt replied turns out her friend was in hospital and she told me to fuck off ive sent her over 300 messages and she hasnt replied she wont even read them which hurts so much more shes one of the last 2 people in my life i care about now theres only one and she hasnt been replying either so im alone i have no […]
Hello my name is Annabelle.
I want to die so bad.
SO bad.
I’ve given up.
Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone dies and thought “why wait?”
I got told by the only person who loves me and who I love that they don’t trust me.
So why wait?
I told everyone I even remotely care about goodbye and told them what I want them to have.
So basically
I’ve given up all hope.
I’m broken and at this point nothing can fix me.
I called the suicide hotline.
Me and the person talked.
It didn’t work.
I still feel as shitty as before, even more so maybe.
I betrayed the one I love and I can never […]
Home for a 3-day weekend. Last time it was a week and I was left entertaining and flirting with the concept of death. Anything, really, to keep from having to take part in the shameful charade any longer. You come home. We sit in front of the TV, we ignore and tune each other out as we stare listlessly at the screen for hours on end.
Is that all that life has become for you? Don’t you want to talk about anything of substance, anything at all? Why can’t you just be civil for once? Why is every word out of your mouth an insult, a […]
I’m alone. and maybe it’s better this way. I told the guy I’ve been in love with for almost a year now. to leave me alone. I’ve isolated myself from my family. I can’t even find the strength to get up and go to school for the last two days. I don’t want to go back on anti depressants. but I don’t know how to be okay right now. a part of me feels like it’s missing. I said things I didn’t mean but I know they were better to say then try make people understand the truth.
i still don’t want to live. i still […]
You know, I’m really sick
of people judging me
and thinking they know
who I am.
Just one
quick
little
glance
and an eternal
stamp
laces my soul.
Bi. Sex. U. Al.
You can say it.
I won’t mind.
My hand is as comfortable
in a girl’s
as it is
in a man’s.
My lips do know the touch
of a female
and they longed for another.
So what?
I’m not a SLUT.
I’m not a WHORE.
I’m not ‘undecided’
or just ‘confused’.
And they wonder why I
don’t believe
in their
God.
We were created in his image-
correct?
So then why does this
happen:
“Don’t tell the others,
but Daddy loves
you
the best.”
Is that who you worship?
“I love all my children
equally-
except for you.
You’re going to Hell.”
So here I go
with the homos
and the murderers
the thieves
the harlots
the liars
and in a way I […]
Where are you? We miss talking to you. If you’ve gotten out of this shit life, good luck with whatever happens when you die.
Although my scars have been covered with tattoos, I have recently been noticing that they tell a beautiful story. A story of strength and triumph.
I spoke with a young girl last night who had just cut herself, still ripe with both the physical and emotional pain. I didn’t know this girl, but I loved her so, my heart bled for her. She said “how can anyone understand me?” My scars showed her that at least one person could.
In that moment I became thankful for my […]
Stage 1.
Blaster of death.
Two player. Our shadows intertwine.
In full-throttle collateral damage.
Dreaming of the upmost dynamic.
The one of the chain of the wicked soul.
The comrade of life and death.
The game board is in reality.
For the life of my story.
Dying in our lost corridors.
Gotham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
Arkham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
First objective mission, videogame game-station.
Remote controller, in the hand of divinity.
Let us play. The wings of Satan, is my cape.
The battle of the living heroes, of the dying race.
Damien is my child, in Arkham town.
The reality against one man. The suit of sorrows.
Enter.
The Alpha Line, here.
Stage 2.
Blaster […]
“Deceit dispels the boredom of the Absolute.”
— Dejan Stojanovic