So i have devised a couple of plans, but never gone through with them. However this one occasion I did it on the spur of the moment. I had already got the worst possible results I could have imagined and as soon as I told my dad who had spent a fair amount on my education I knew how disappointed he was. He took me to the army office and decided that I should enroll. I still tried to keep myself together even though I could feel myself crumbling inside already having broken down once in front of my tutor that day. I couldn’t figure […]
Hello Guys,
It’s day three for this. I don’t know why I keep doing this… Maybe its because I need to write my feelings down somewhere. I haven’t been okay or good. I’ve been stressed, tired, and depressed. Sometimes I just want a hug, but none of my friends know about me being depressed. Except for one, but I’ve never met them. I talk to them. I text them. Facebook message them. But I have never met them. And I can’t ask them for a hug, because if I would I know I would feel guilty. I would feel selfish. I would feel like a burden. […]
I think it’s quite sad that I have resorted to posting on a website like this.
It’s hard to put into words. I don’t know why I keep doing what I do. I wish I was normal. I wish I didn’t have the urge to cut myself everytime I get upset. I feel pathetic. Everytime I do it. I wish I could be normal. All this is so exhausting.
It’s exhausting pretending everyday that I’m okay. That I’m that perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend. It’s mentally exhausting.
My brother comes home from the Marines today. I really want to tell him my secret. I’m very afraid he’ll […]
To be fair, to sum it all up I am simply just a lonely teenager who is loved by none, has many things wrong with her mental stability, obsesses with too many bands and unreal things, is addicted to self harm, has attempted suicide that many times I can no longer count them all on my fingers, drinks way too much coffee and alcohol, and reads too many band fanfictions.
And all I can do when I read that over is stare blankly at the laptop screen.
They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but sometimes that problem isn’t so temporary.
well. imma try my best to help you as much as i can and i hope im able to get through to you.
So.. i used to in your shoes. its either not eating trying to kill yourself or cutting. and i did all 3. there might be more but im not aware of them really. anyways . you are most likely not wanting to live an the moment right now. and i completely understand. but tell your self everyday that you are beautiful and special and perfect in someones eyes. write your self notes in the bath room or on […]
I came here thinking I would actually try to talk through my thoughts. I have plenty at the moment. I know that I am a failure. My results speak for themselves. My memory isn’t what it’s used to be and I am pretty sure I am just as stupid as I thought at the beginning of it all. Life just seems like one long endless journey. I feel so empty inside. I know my dad looks at me with disappointment all the money he has spent and I couldn’t live up to my potential. He still pays for me even after failing. I know he […]
Has anyone considered death by hypothermia? It’s pretty cold here in the UK currently, I was thinking of walking up a mountain one night and getting drunk then taking my clothes off so I’d get hypothermia and permanently fall asleep. Maybe some sleeping pills for that extra push over the edge.
Does anyone know if it actually works? How painful would it be (if you’re not drunk first)?
the reason I can bring myself to post on SP from time to time is because it feels the most like talking to a wall. there’s still that voice in my head telling me I’m going to be hated for doing it, telling me about how bad people will treat me if they see how weak I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of guy who’s silently locked up in his corner, I talk to people. But I never tell them anything real, everything I say is a load of filler and if I do say something meaningfull, it’s never about me.
I’m […]
Is brain way of saying
” you already screwed your life, be a man and die fast . don’t let earth’s weight increase by ~6okg because of you”
you are put in situations which absolutely mess with your mind and there’s nothing you can do. even though friends and family try and say all these things like its just a setback or do some exercise or move on etc etc.. the clichés…
I do feel that these things apply to people who are just temporarily sad or have hope. people who are beyond that point and want the sweet release of death are not motivated by this sort of stuff.. I truly feel that people don’t get it and they don’t understand. it is easy to comment from outside of the looking glass. I […]
for whatever reason your attempt was thwarted..do/did you feel at any point that being saved was the worst thing that could have happened to you? death was the sweeter proposition than life? I seriously feel that death is bad-named for no reason, it is life that causes the problems
An interview with the lead singer of Red light King:
Redlight King have been heating up airwaves with their single ‘Bullet in My Hand’ off of their debut album ‘Something For the Pain’ and now they have released acoustic videos for both the hit single and album’s title track.
In our interview with Redlight King, frontman Kaz told us that ‘Bullet In My Hand’ is about “taking a chance and making the decision to move forward. That is what it’s about and musically I wanted it to rock really hard. The song started with the line “I came out of the darkness / With a bullet in […]
is Latin for “Never less alone than when alone.”
The feeling of loneliness is due to the desire for company. The desire for company is due to our perception of others, or possibly the memory of a time when we were no so alone.
I believe what that quote means is if we completely remove the presence of others, physically and mentally and theoretically, then there is no such thing as loneliness.
If we were each hatched on a deserted island with no human contact, we would never know loneliness simply because we would never know that we’re expected to be anything else. We wouldn’t watch movies about […]
This is the autobiography of Kevin Hines who survived a jump from the Golden Gate Bridge in 2000 at the age of 19. I have seen him in the documentary The Bridge. Kevin has severe type 1 Bi-polar disorder. I’ve watched the film numerous times.
I ordered this book on my Kindle a few days ago. I read it straight through, crying most of the time. It helped me understand that my severe depression is not the result of Bi-Polar disorder as I do not experience the hallucinations typical of this brain disease. I think the book, and Kevin’s story as a whole, can be of […]
I’ve been better lately… I honestly have been self harm free for two days. Mainly with the help of you guys. You guys are amazing and awesome, thank you so much. For all of you who are thinking, “it will never get better,” please stop thinking that, because it will eventually. I’m here for guys, just as much as you are for me.
I just want to die. I want it all to be over. I once wanted the military, but after dislocating my patella they most likely won’t take me. Its gotten to the point where when I collect carts from the lot (I work at king soopers) I hope that someone just runs me over. I ended my relationship with someone who really cared about me, because I don’t want him to have to deal with this crap, and then I bought 10 new razor blades. they were on sale.
It’s partly cloudy and chilly. I can see a few stars out there. My time is up. I’m scared and sad but relieved. I wander into the dark woods.
Could be 10 minutes, an hour away maybe. If I do make it, I will be sure to let you all know what happened.
Thank you all for the kind words and support. It really does help. Keep doing helping people fight this before it is too late for them.
When it rains it pours and I just cant take it anymore. Â Every time i feel like i have something to look forward to or something to be happy about. its taken away from me…. again and again. Â I sometimes things its a way of telling me that its time to be with my mom. Â I feel like no one understands me. some people may say that its not that serious. Some people may think that i am over reacting, but the truth is my heart can not take much more. I wish i had someone to talk to that didn’t know my story. someone […]
Eventually you realize you might as well stop gambling when the casino is rigged. The dice are loaded. You can only lose so many times… The roulette wheel always lands on zero… Eventually you just got to stop the insanity of it. Why spin again? Eventually I always lose. The house always wins…. Gotta do what any gambling man would do in my position… Raise the stakes…all in…the hand ………….loaded:6
I’ll get lucky eventually    John G.