I’m about three days away from committing suicide.  Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to spend their last day or last hour to really make it feel like it’s the end and will help you commit to the act?  What’s everyone planning for their last day?

So in my family, my parents are very crazy about what  I wear not my brothers just me. I have to wear long sleeved shirts and long pants no shorts no low cut shirts no tight clothing which I mean isn’t really bad but it gets annoying when I see all these girl in different styles and I can only wear long pants and long shirts(the shirts also have to fully cover my butt) I can’t wear high heels or make up and my  dad freaks when I do. Today I wore a shirt with a. V neck and my dad went ballistic he said […]

So how goes the day. I have recently been on holidays (May 28th to June something) and within the first two weeks of being back I was in the hospital twice. Once I admitted myself. Only stayed there for 71 hours and like 50 minutes(few minutes before my 72 hour hold was finished, and btw I went in voluntarily and they still put me on a form), the second time was a suicide attempt. I stuck my wrist into SUICIDAL EXPLICIT CONTENT. That time though I went in voluntarily and they didnt put me on a form. Odd indeed. Anyways only stayed there for about […]

I’ve been on an antidepressant and it’s been working pretty well, until I had to handle stress. Lately I’ve been very stressed, to the point of cutting again. Other then that the antidepressant seemed to be working, currently I feel like dying and my heart is racing a mile a minute. Do I tell my doctor, or just keep it quiet?? I have an appointment tomorrow AM, so please give advice asap!

To the kid I know who tallies and flaunts his half-hearted suicide attempts as if they are trophies,
You disgust me. A suicide attempt is only called that because it is an attempt to commit suicide, not something to write about on popular social media sites in an attempt to gain respect or something. You haven’t even been to the hospital. Two cuts across your arm is not a suicide attempt. Eating salt and calling it “iodine” is not a suicide attempt. Jumping off your bunk bed will get you nowhere. Stop taking suicide so lightly. It makes those who are serious about it look […]

So, I couldn’t access this website for like a week so I started a blog  theventingspace.blog.com . Self harm is a pretty common thing for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I started cutting in February of 2012, I was self harming in different ways before that but nothing that was visible. I took laxatives, I had unhealthy relationships, I drank too much, and going wayyyy back to my early childhood( the only other time it was visible) I pulled out all my eyelashes and eyebrows and blamed it on an episode of Punky Brewster.  Now why would someone start cutting so late in life? I […]

Hey, Im kind of new to this so probably wont explain myself very well. This is actually the first time Ive ever talked about this to anyone if this even counts. Anyways im not sure how I even ended up here I feel like im wasting who ever reads this’ time. I dont want pity I used to do a bit of counseling as a youth worker so I know all the lines like “life is potential death is that potential gone”, I know how to help others I just cant help myself. I dont want pity or sympathy just a logical reason and some […]

This is a picture from 6 months ago. I miss my hair. Ever since I cut it off Ive been so depressed and felt to bad about myself. It drove me to eat a lot and gain 20 pounds. What should I do??? D:

As if the time goes “tick tock, tick tock” as if the seconds turn to minutes and the minutes turn to hours and then day by day the sun effects the way you live your life as if now….. You start to rot away!

You begin to write and you turn blank as if you forget how to breathe. You turn pale and flustered as if you turn and a train comes by and your life flashes before one eye…. Opens and you are starring into darkness.

You have horrible nightmares that make you never want to be alone. The darkness takes over your mind and surrounds […]

If you really knew me you would know that I was happy. I was surrounded by happiness and laughter. Now I just want to wither away. Everybody who I was close to drifted apart from me and look at me like I’m psycho. If you really knew me you would know that I’m hurting physically and emotionally, I feel numb. Numb is really an understatement but that’s the only way of describing it. If you really knew me you would check my limbs for cuts periodically, Nobody cares enough to do that though. If you really knew me you would know I’m breaking down and […]

Im 20 years old and I’ve had thoughts of suicide since i was 15 years old. I dont have a long drawn out sad story or history of abuse of any kind. I have a loving family & a boyfriend but i have never felt more alone. I often ask myself “How can you have so much but still feel like you have nothing ” . I have never figured out the answer. Im just so unhappy it almost scares me how many times I’ve actually sat in my bathroom , held pills , razors etc. and almost ended my life. Some part of me […]

We all seem to share one thing… The question, why do we want to die, why are we alive, why do we feel this way? I can only speak for myself we are all very different. I just turned 18 and have a world of opportunity. I’m considered pretty and envied by others and I’m off to a great school for fashion merchandising, my passion, at the end of August. I have best friends and a boyfriend. It all sounds perfect right? Wrong. I constantly wake up wondering why I woke up. Sometimes I lay and stare at the ceiling and feel like a hole […]

I saw my mum for the first time in a few weeks today. She turned to me and said all she has in the world is me, my brother and her husband, but that I was her rock. She’s been going through her own trouble, battling her own demons for a long time. Little did she know her rock was crying down the phone to the Samaritans last night, that I was crying down the phone just to feel something. How can I ever tell her that I want to die? How can I tell her that every day I smash up my sanity just […]

Everyone agree upon my ugly, fatness?

Well, I haven’t been looking around much here, but I thought that if I write it down, I might have a better picture of my situation.

Basically, there’s nothing wrong with my life. I got a nice apt., a cat, a loving BF and a  great family. Even job is OK.

Thing is – I just don’t want to live anymore, I have no interest in seeing what will happen next, no plan for kids/children, no interest in finding a new job or studying (have already pursued a Master’s degree). In short, I just don’t care anymore. I don’t see the point of all this, I’m not […]

I’m 14.. I really feel like I need to be taking weight loss pills. But everyone else Is against it. Oh they say just diet and exercise. You really want me to go outside and run looking like the fat lard I am? People will laugh at me! And its not that easy to diet! You have to have self control for that. And that’s something I don’t have and never will have. I just want to be fit and in shape! That’s all I ask for.

Actually I have a lot of big problems. But the one that has been bothering me a lot lately is being alone. I moved states and I live by myself. I don’t have my parents or my siblings around or anything. My next roommate doesn’t move in for a few months. My boyfriend will stay the night with me most nights but he won’t come until around 9 or 10 pm. And I’m not doing anything. So I sit around all day and do nothing. I just wait for him to get here and I hate it. I don’t make friends very well so it’s […]

I’ve been thinking about dying a lot. For some reason that makes me feel better. Things haven’t been good lately. My life is really pleasant on the surface, I’m doing the things I want to do and have a mostly supportive family. But then I have horrible self-esteem and I just end up in the worst situations and it’s really my own fault.

I am really devastated over this thing that happened recently with my boyfriend. I was away for a few months, volunteering at a school in a really remote place and making a documentary, and while I was gone he cheated on me. I […]

I can feel myself almost needing to go, I can’t stand to look anybody in the eyes anymore. I hate them. I hate that they will remember me if I go. I  just want to be gone, and forgotten… Sinking, slowly to the bottom of the ocean. It feels like I will never be able to breathe again… Why should I stick around, just to get my heart broken again, my dreams crushed and my hopes thrown off a cliff? I shouldn’t.. I don’t want to.. it seems like every breathe is a point for the other side in my losing battle…. I just don’t […]

I use to be anirexic but I got help and quit. I cut and I love it. I love cutting but I also loved being anirexic. What should I do?