Thinking back, I thought I’d been self harming for a year now but really? I’ve been doing it for almost 3. I was just thinking about everything and I remember in 6th grade I used to line my arms in rubber bands and just flick them until my wrists were bloodshot red. Then in 7th grade I finally got over that and tried cutting but swore I’d never do it again. Then I developed Trichotillomania (pulling out my own hair) and that got to an extreme enough point that I had to cut my hair short enough where I couldn’t see it unless I looked in the mirror. I still have […]
i think the one person that was keeping me alive. Is dead.
I am back on here. I am not supposed to be, but here I am. Long story. I am not sure if things will change.  Maybe they are not supposed to.
I wanted to see if scar 504, mimito, isaac, OB1, rathernot, dom, ect….if they still post here.
I’m not even sure how to do all this, I haven’t taken the time to read through everything. I just need to get this out. Now.
I think too much, way too much. I’m a 40 year old female who has thought about dieing since I was a teenager. I guess I’ve always been scared to live. I was bullied horribly in school. I never felt like I was good enough for my parents… But all of that is more than 2 decades in the past. Maybe that is what started my depression. I can’t even remember not being depressed. Now though, I’m on medication that […]
im crying now and its too much im not going to macke this long so
jacqueline ill see you there ples dont do aney thing stupid if you are still alive and i love you if not ill see you ther im comeing
and to you lot who i caal my frend good biy you cunts you made my life hell i hate you
to you my frends i love you
In reading the many comments here I am struck by the community of pain that we all share. There is strength to be found in this since it allows us to see that we are not entirely alone and that there are others out there who are suffering just as intensely. This is a comfort in many ways.
Over the past 2 years I have tried on no fewer than 4 occasions to end my life. After each failure I found a way to convince myself that “God wanted me to live”. I am now in the process of my 5th and hopefully last attempt. Rather […]
I wanted to talk about a couple of things today, one being coping strategies the other being about myself.
Starting with coping strategies; for years I have been told about trying various different methods to help me through depressive states, even how to cope in different ways other than cutting. Things like exercise, music, writing/diaries; stop me when it sounds familiar. I have tried all of those, and although some might have worked a couple of times, they were not long term strategies I could use and were often very useless.
Recently I stumbled upon origami, I have never really  been interested and for some reason now […]
I’m running out of options. My last hope, before suicide becomes the best choice, is to drop out of college for a while and move away. I just need to live, on my own terms, or not live at all. I mean, I don’t know why we bother with this college, marriage, children bullshit. It’s a trap. This world is so damn big. There is so much more to experience than most people ever do. That’s the point. To experience. I’m absolutely done with this not living crap. If i’m going to stick it out here for any longer, I’ve got to get out of […]
My hearts broken. false hope.
I wrote a post yesterday called ‘What am I waiting for?’ (http://suicideproject.org/2013/03/what-am-i-waiting-for-2/) and I now know why. Obvious to say, but I’m scared. I’m scared because I know that to truly end my life will be the most traumatising thing I will ever have been through – I know that sounds weird because surely I want to die so bad that it shouldn’t matter? Well it does matter and I really, truly do want to die, but there’s no easy way out. There is no way I can get hold of a gun or fatal load of pills – which, to me, would make it […]
Hi everyone.
In me, we have that rare case when suicide is considered on purely rational grounds, without being affected by depression, any sort of life problem, nor personal relations’ tragedy. I came in here to share how it is so and to look for an rational advice about whether my conclusions are correct, and in (unlikely) case they are not, – then why it would be so (in detail), and what correct conlusions would be.
The title i gave to this message – “What for?” – is a rhetorical (for me, nowadays) question about life. What for do i have to keep living? What for do […]
Why do i still live? Why do i bother to keep breathing? Can’t i just die? Maybe i will just kill myself now then everyone will be happy and they don’t have to see my face again. That would be much better!! 🙁
sundays my birthday, im turning 16 and im not excited at all. im very depressed, i dont know what to do. i just want to die. i have nobody to talk to about how im really feeling. im tired of hiding all this. i need to open up to someone but i cant trust anybody. day by day i lose more and more friends. i think it might get to the point where i have no friends and then i would really have nobody. if i does come to that point i just might have to end my life and  i have my mom but i […]
what do you think about suicide by freezing? perhaps some alcohol and walking out into the forest in freezing temperatures. you think its painless?
It’s been tiring these past few weeks.. I can’t think anymore.. I just slouch and barely talk.. slouch and barely try anymore.. I just want to let out all of this crying but no matter how hard I try I can’t even seem to squeeze out a tear.. I always taste throw up in the back of my throat.. I can feel my veins on my temples from being stressed.. It’s too tiring.. to be human.. I hate being Human… Everyone saw my scars today while I changed and I was confronted by all of my classmates.. confronted and lectured… I’m too tired to do […]
I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]
well i was in my first fight on tuesday with a girl named Doris i gave her 2 black eyes she gave me a scratch according to every1 i lost every1 hates me honestly i just want to go sit on the edge of a building :/ i lost my bestfriend becuz of the fight i lost my Girlfriend bcuz i told her dating a girl and a boy at the same time is concitered cheating she disagreed everyone hates me and usually the first person i call when i feel suicidal is my EX-bestfriend Jinn but i cant do that anymore i honestly……………. i […]
The pain is overwhelming
It has taken up my soul
All I ever think about is “will I lose controlâ€
The feeling of being lonely
The thoughts of pure despair
I think I am broken far beyond repair
The beast inside my head has grown considerably
Feeding me all these thoughts
Giving me false dreams
I don’t understand why this happens
I’m nearly ready to just give in
I want to give my soul to the and commit that final sin
I’m asked if everything’s alright
Of course I smile and lie
But whenever I’m alone I feel ready to die
I cover up my […]
You know that point where you’re on the edge of the cliff and any emotion you’ve ever had is racing through your body and you’re just ready to take the last leap? I think I’m past that. I think I’m falling, just waiting to hit the bottom. I say falling because I feel absolutely nothing. Literally numb. But I’m afraid one day my numbness will snap and I will hit the ground, hard.
Death, a lot of people live their whole life in fear of it. But what’s the point? Its a guaranteed. I don’t understand why people fear death. It’s said that when you die you will know every answer to every question, it makes me excited. I don’t fear death. It’s really not something that frightens me or chills my skin. I accept it. And I’ve even tried to attempt it. I think more or less, that people aren’t scared of death directly, but the pain that might be felt before it happens. That doesn’t scare me either. I’m so numb inside it would be nice […]