Breathing is a foreign thing
One that I would refuse
I need not this sentience
And lack great will to choose

I am broken, just a tad
Bleeding drip by drop
Faulty product to be returned
Just let the hurting stop

Tired of awakening
To this life and little else
Tired of each and every thing
Weary of pathetic self

Living just for that one day
Grants you naught but 24
And yet the irony remains
I am not fit for that much more

Years now, I have tried
To find within some form of peace
To gather courage against great wind
And from these shadows find release

Years […]

I’ve been going through depression for 3 years now. I’m 15. I use to think that it would get better and pray to god it would. I stopped I guess I lost hope in it three years does not seem like a long time but it is when you can barley get out of bed or do anything. I have no friends I once did but I push them all away. I began using drugs to numb the pain I tried weed spice meth and pills. Always getting in trouble for drinking. I screwed up my head and I basically became mute I only talk to my […]

I am Jacqueline, most call me jackie, but I prefer my full name because it’s beautiful to me. I am a poet, i write about whatever I feel, some poems are from my point of view some are from anothers. I’m thirteen, I live in the u.s. in illinois in a city part of the “heart of illinois” as they call it. But this city certainly doesn’t have a heart. Our city is so messed up, we have more people getting murdered in a day than there are scars on my arm and ankle, and I have more than just a few scars. This city […]

I can’t… I give up… I am done.

At one point we all are. From 5 going on 15 or 50 going on 5, at one point we need our kiddish selves as a sort of comfort. For example. A young man, 25 years of age, is expected to take needles and stress like it’s nothing and keep on with his day with a chipper smile on his face. That’s what the public might see. To the private eyes, at home the young man may be hysterical, or keep a collection of comfort toys or (dare I even say) ‘toys’.

My comfort is now. What I need comfort is from the world. My toys, my […]

Keep Fighting

Two words, thousand meanings, lots of inspirations. It were the words I wrote on my left wrist on the first of march, Self Injury Awareness Day. With a butterfly, as meaning of The Butterfly Project. It’s really amazing what two words can do with a person…. They just help me get through that day.

tomorrow is sunday where i live. i haven’t been able to deal with the pain inside. my cutting is out of control. and if i had my way. id kil my self right this minute. but the pills i have wont kill you alone so i have to wait till monday when i get the rest. to be sure of death. i don’t know what to do . . . im tired of meds and therapy. im tired of all these things that aren’t helping me anymore. i wish i could just say good bye. you know. i might just try to find some other […]

She felt the weight of the world.
Put upon her shoulders.
The pain, the sorrow.
like boulders.

She cried.
She pleaded.
But alas,
She was defeated.
this fragile being
once so beautiful.
was broken.

And the people she was associated with
the ones she called her friends.
left her like a hurricane.
swept off by the wind.
i guess they were just fakes.
guess it was pretend.

And then one day this shattered girl
finally gave in
she stopped this life charade
and surcomed to darkness,
and now this pure white dreamer,
is hollow and heartless,

Her only escape is her poetry,
so she writes
and lusts to be […]

???

:/

Today, when I woke up, I thought that this day was going to be nice but it turned out horrible. I went to school and I knew that my latin teacher would have given us our tests’ grades. I was absent the day it was supposed to be done so I did 2 days after. I asked my classmates the questions and I prepared them with other absents. I worked really hard on finding the suiting answer to every question and the day of the test I wouldn’t stop writing. The test was about Virgil’s “Aeneid”. Our teacher gives us 2 grades because we don’t have […]

I always think about it, ya know? How easy it could be. I’d just put the noose around my neck, and be done. But I can’t, because my mom would find me. I love her so much, I couldn’t do that to her. I can’t drive, so I can’t just go off a cliff and be done…

I have severe anxiety. Everything I encounter…it’s too hard to live with all of this. I used to think I was special, that I was an amazing writer and I had the potential to go somewhere. Not anymore. I feel below normal, some poverty-stricken punk with anxiety and depression…

I […]

I wonder what % of people who post on here that they are suicidal actually go ahead and do the deed.  Mine is happening tomorrow (possibly even tonight). The reality post which I put up earlier is all accurate but it was written 4 weeks ago. Since then I have literally been living on the streets. When I was smartish and clean to start with I blagged a few nights in various cheap hotels saying I would pay the next day (they would require my passport but the next day I would explain that I couldn’t get money from bank without it). A guy I […]

I am new here, first post, but I’ve been reading posts here for quite some time now, and as sad as it is that so many people here are in so much pain, it brings me a bitter-sweet comfort that there are others like me.  I really don’t want to be a sob story, or ask for pity, I’m just stuck and so confused about it all.

I guess I’m just very desperate for some relief.  I have created the greatest of masks to hide the anguish that dictates my every moment and thought, but its come to a point that I can’t even hide anymore.  I […]

Will I ever find love? Will I? I am the only one up in my house and I’m wondering about life, love, and me. I just wonder if there is something wrong with me. I look around and see happiness and I’m drowning in my own pool of sadness. I seem happy my friends tell me all the time that I seem so happy and perfect. Those words haunt me. Perfect. But the fact-of-the-matter is that I’m truthfully lonely. Really lonely. I just want someone. I know I can’t really spare the heartbreak but it must be nice to have someone hold me when things get […]

a girl is going to diy

and ill never see her face

and all the efots i put in will be in vane i feel

because shes the other side of the wold to me and i can not see her face

she lives in the usa the land of the brave and the free

well that must be a liy !!!!! cos for a girl to diy that yong

and for no one to be ther

for the sun may shine its briteist

but sheel all ways be in the dark cos know one ever lisiond to her when she calld for some one to be there and all day i shall […]

I am so done.. So sick and tired of trying. Why did he just let me die Instead of taking me to the hospital

What utter incompetence. do you think I want people to know my email?

These people who threaten to commit suicide by downing a bottle of Tylenol or jumping from the second story window of their house are just kidding themselves.  If you’re really going to, please spare us the lame details that make it unlikely that it’ll be successful.  If you want real help and support from others, state that you feel like ending it all.  That’s enough to draw attention from others to give you words of encouragement.  That’s what you obviously need.  If you really wanted to end it, you’d use a method that would likely ensure fatality.

Sometimes I want to die, too.  One day when I actually decide […]

as they sat on a hill
a sunset deep into their eyes
they stared and stared
into what they tried to find

all they need is happiness
all they need is love
all they need is motivation

as he sat there
and sat there
he thought of ways to die

as she sat there
and sat there
she too wanted to die
but as well tried to save his life

oh please dont go
oh please dont go
we will be forever
do you really mean that
of course i do
only you were meant for forever<3

as the words left the boys mouth
he realized how sorry he is