As i said in my earlier post … You would see and find out more of me ..
More of why I am so fucked up , depressed, lonely , .etc most of you will get it I’ve read posts related and seen a part of myself in them
Most of you will understand
How I feel depressed and suicidal every single day
You’ve shared part of why you feel like that , buy I haven’t .
Well it all began about 3 years ago when that event occured .. the event that messed me up ,
When I was 15 I had it all […]
I’m 17 years old, I suffer from BDD(body dysmorphic disorder), social anxiety, depression, and I’m pretty sure I have unstable emotions. My father committed suicide when I was 3 years old and from then my mother raised me and my two older sisters while she abused depression pills, she would always go out to drink and come home drunk and mean, whenever a guy would come into her life she forgot she had children. I was too young to realize all that was happening around me.I’ve been bullied since I was in 4th grade, I only had one friend until we entered middle school and […]
Hi. I am an 18 year old boy who lived with depression ever since I was maybe 12. My first suicide attempt was during high school when I was maybe about 14 or 15 years old. It hurt trying to deal with the loneliness, pressure, and the feeling of how I just don’t exist to anybody around me. And looking at where I am now and where I have been before, I think I’ve dealt with it enough to where I can live a happy life. I don’t have all the answers, and I get depressed every so often. But I just want to do […]
My sister died two weeks ago. Both of us had struggled with depression all our lives, but found different ways to deal with it… which caused us to have little in common the last few years. We had been communicating again and on good terms since summer, but had not actually seen each other (except when she was in the ICU) since a family get-together about two years ago.
At that event there was drama, which I loathe, and a lot of misunderstanding and misrepresentation of a letter I’d written her saying I was just completely burned out, used up, and could not function any more trying […]
For the past five years, all I could ever think about is “why me? Why do I have to be the person that goes through all this pain, and sadness. As time went on, I hoped that everything could get better. I hoped that all the things that was happening to me was only a one time thing. But then I noticed I was experiencing that kind of pain every single day. I prayed for guidance, and I gave little hints about what was going on but no one could hear my cry for help.
At the age of one, my mom passed away in a […]
Blehhh. This Mr. Piggy is like, gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble. Lets do some jumping jack guys! Oh Mr. Pumpkin, you’re so big! You feel so good when I’m inside you Mr. Pumpkin. Happy birthday everyone! Let’s dress up like the Easter bunny! Uh… Oh. Who let the dogs out?!? And this banana…. Tis the night before Christmas.
Sorry guys. Just humoring my boyfriend with that paragraph. ^ 🙂
well, I’m a lousy writer… What should I do? I have no one to talk to about my depression, my loneliness… I can’t disclose to anyone that I suffer from HSV-2 in fear of being labeled as what I am, a poisonous person therefore I’ve been alone, drowning in alcohol and drugs to pass out as much as I can… I want help, I need help but what help can I get when I am forever cursed with a virus that destroyed my life completely… I used to be social, I would go out, have fun, date girls, be fun, do shit, travel, do […]
Nobody likes me, everybody’s out to get me, I am ugly, I am fat, I am way too tall, I hate myself, I can’t find a job, screw the world.
This goes through my mind everyday. Yes, I want to do it! I want to finish off my anti-depressants, mix them up with all my sleeping pills.
I have NOTHING to look forward to. I’ve been through so much crap in my life. With getting made fun of, being an over-eater, being used, and mis-treated. Screw this. I am done.
My name is Jennifer. I hate myself with a passion. My self-esteem is so low that I can’t even live a normal life. I feel like everybody is out to get me. Anybody else relate to this? Whenever I go to the store I feel as if everybody is talking bad about me and focusing their attention on making fun of me. I always wear black because I don’t feel comfortable in vibrant colors. I am a mess. I try praying, but of course that doesn’t help.
Hi all, my name is Jennifer and I want to share my story with you. It is Thanksgiving day as you all know it, but I have been crying non-stop in my room. I am just so angry with this world. I feel as if nobody is helping me or at least making an effort to.
It all started in middle school. My best friend died from cancer, and everything just went down hill from there. I was super quiet in middle school and tall, so I was a target. There was this one guy who I will never forget. He would throw quarters at […]
I love you. I miss you. I want you. I need you.
where are you?
how are you?
I know you’re with, her, now..
but I really want you back in my arms.
I think about you everyday,
about your family,
and what you may be doing..
I have a secret hope that you and I will come back together again..
but I don’t know if it’s worth hoping for..
I feel that maybe we still have a chance,
but what if I’m wrong?
Oh well.
I love you.
Travis
W******
S********
just remember.. No gaps <3
and Tyler, and Ava, and our house in Colorado..
oh and our German Shepard-Husky mix puppy
I Love You Babe, and I always will.. <3
Even if you don’t […]
the holidays are so hard. Â i think about dying quite a bit. Â it’s like a heavy wet blanket that i can’t shake off or get out from under.
there is nowhere that i can express my true feelings. Â i can’t post it on facebook or twitter, i can’t show my true colors at work. Â i have to be on at all times. Â and i’m good at hiding my feelings. Â anyone who met me would think that i was ok. Â i’m not. Â i’m not asking for sympathy here, or for anyone to tell me that it’s going to be ok, or that it gets better, or any […]
A few weeks ago I nearly committed suicide… I wrote a letter and cried uncontrolably as I put the bottle of nitrate to my lips… Then I heard my girlfriend stirr in our bed. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her find me like that. I put down the bottle and crawled in to bed. The next morning I got up and went straight to the doctors. I told my doctor everything. She sent me to the hospital and I spent a week in the Mental Health ward. I was diognosed with BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder and put on 100mg of Quetiapine. life […]
SP is so important to you my dear! dont leave just because im here.. you see the horrible things i write, and i see what you write.. its not like we dont know whats going on in each others heads.. were just seeing it in ‘writing’.. dont let my presence chase you away. its helped you through too much, more than i probably have.. so dont leave because of me, thats not what was meant to happen.
Hi this is my life story and this shows how i feel and sorry for my grammar because im not english My childhood was very good like 1-4years until i startet realizing what is hapoening around me at that time my father was alchohfoflic like 2weeks drunk 1month when he was drunk the house was garvage he often goted that drunk that he would piss ewrywhere i was real amazed how human could survive only whit water so at the time reality realy crashed at me pretty hard at 6 i alredy knew santa wasnt real while 10,11olds still brlieved in him evry […]
Today has been such a hard day. I go with my family and we pretend everything is okay. I heard my cousins talking about me and saying how great it is that I have made improvements and how I am not crazy anymore. If only they knew how I was still feeling, how much I still hate life and how I don’t want to be here anymore. They would probably say I am even crazier than before. I wish I could be happy. I wish I wasn’t known as the “crazy one” in my family because I have tried to kill myself before. I just […]
I’ve been lost for 8 or 9 years. Years of wrong decisions, low self-esteem, failures, fear and depression. When I read stories of fucked up lives written by teenagers I almost envy them. I wish I was 16 again and had a second chance. But I’ll be 30 in 4 years, I’m too damn old for all this ‘my-life-is-such-a-mess’ thing. Will it still be the same when I’m 40? Pathetic. Could write a manual “How to fuck up your life without drugs, alcohol and gambling”.
I could have become anything, yet I’ve become nothing. I hate everything I do. And I’m scared, scared, scared.
I have felt little to no emotion as of late. I am confused. Possibly insane. Nothing in this world, nothing, I cannot understand. Try as I might, I cannot figure out my way out of my corner. The maze in my head. This is my DARK ABYSS. I guess. Shannon being dead couldn’t be registered emotionally, I could feel no emotions. If this is numbness, then holy shit thats awesome since I feel absolutely nothing anymore. It makes me so confused though.
Where the hell am I. My flashlight left me. Flashlight where’d you go. It’s dark and lonely. (Just a random thought in my head.)
Well, […]
Pretending everythings fine is exhausting. Its taken everything I’ve got in me to keep this facade up. I’ve got nothing left. I try every damn day to get out of this cycle of depression. I try to push the suicidal thoughts down, and I don’t know how many more days (hours) I can continue. I’ve got a home, people who love me,I’m
not rich but not poor either. But what I have whats killing me is of course depression. The pills don’t work, nor does the therapy. This has gone on long enough. No cries for help, no timetable, just a moment will come […]
Life is looking beautiful. As I’m finally looking up at seeing that there’s so much more than darkness. Everyday though there’s still the time when the sun finally goes down and the light slowly fades. There’s always the moon after the sun and stars to help shine light upon us. Some shine brighter than others but those others are still shining but then you have the stars that have burnt out and faded. Reminds me of life on the ground. Life is beautiful. Life is every where. Some of us fall an most of us stand up. Don’t give up guys. Remember, sadness is contagious. […]