Some say it’s a beautiful lie, others say it’s a horrible lie…But I agree with the horrible lie…How happy I act…I guess this is why I am going to be an actor when I am older…no matter how happy I look…inside…my heart is crushed and my soul is shattered…I am really hurt…and somehow…I have these five great friends and a therapist…along with a great teacher…but this just…hurts…

I have a feeling. I don’t know what it is. It’s there, sinking like a stone through water. Any progress I’ve made seems, at times like this, to be nothing more than acrobatics on the way down.

It’s like standing in an empty field, devoid of all life, with permeating heat but no sunlight. There is nobody to ask for help, nothing to do but walk forward until you collapse from dehydration or starvation.

Everything is distracting. Like having your attention torn from something you were immersed in, over and over again. It’s frustrating. Nothing gets done. Soon, you forget what you were trying to do in […]

Today marks one year since my dad passed..

its crazy even thinking about it bcuz it feels like it was just yesterday. I will never forget seeing him in his casket at his funeral. That had to be the hardest thing to ever witness or even deal with, but I did it & i’m so proud of myself.

i’ve gotten through so much shit this year ! i’ve accomplished so much, yet made so many mistakes. i’ve messed up so bad at times, but I tried to make him proud the best way I could.

Daddy, i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done, all the mistakes […]

someone plesee kill me now i just want to get out of this hell hole pleaseee i cant take it anymore everything is just going so wrong im soo alone in this world i need to leave and i think im going too very very soon

i always wanted to know what it feels like to get a knife threw you  but like i cant put a knife threw myself by myself i dont know whyy but i just cant do it im to scared of whats on the other side if you know what i mean thats why im just waiting for someone to do it for me i love fights getting into them is amazing feeling i think i just like the pain that comes from it but who knows everytime i close my eyes i just get this dream where im fighting some chick and going all out too […]

Fucks up everything .-.

Aren’t parents supposed to be there for you?

Aren’t you supposed to be able to go to them when your feeling like this?

Me? Can I? No.

My mom will sit there and ***** at me. She won’t ever comfort me.

My dad?

He’d just yell at me like always.

I’m done.

I can’t do this anymore.

crying everyday… every stinkin’ day is exhausting.

I just am so drained and lifeless anymore.

I’m done being put done.

I’m done with peoples constant lies.

I’m done with peoples shit.

I’M DONE.

I am definitely in a bad place right now. I started cutting again and i am desperate for someone to talk to openly, admitting i have a problem.

There is one person who knows this and ignores it by saying i should know better, and it makes sense. But it is not easy to stop just like that, i have some good periods and than it gets worse. I cut so badly, i cut all the way through the flesh, and it disgusts me the other day. People are already noticing i have to many scars, i keep lying but i don’t know what to say […]

I guesse today is just one of those days you know when ur head hurts and u don’t feel like eating but when u go down to eat dinner with ur “family” and hen u end up eating fast and run up stairs to he bathroom and end up throwing it all up. I felt this coming but I could reasite I had too. And then ur “family” calls upstairs that we’re leaving in 5 mins and u have to go so u panic and r makeup is ruin and I have 3 mins to fix myself. I can’t live like this anymore, hiding […]

Ok so I posted a little poem I wrote on here called Wake Up Call. I wrote it quite a while ago actually, but I didn’t know how I could make it work. How was I supposed to end my life in a way that woke people up? But thanks to a stroke of luck, that problem has been solved, so I decided to post the poem. And I decided to put up some backstory here: Very recently I went to an old friend’s house. His uncle was in town and he had brought his key to a gun safe they keep at my friend’s […]

suicide is a term of life set into the tone of vigor and gore death mutilated self and downward in life quality. this is the tone brought by the lifestyles of the cergamal a geu like caracter that aspired in begings as a loving self in an all loveing world then one day it downed itself from lover in life to cergamal a geu like caracter bent in a destruction path of all life not the same old lover from begging days. in my suicdal ways pre existance seems now more reasonable then suicide its the out of existance back to  the pre form of […]

A lot of those lyrics has to do with the Seven Deadly Sins in the most personal way possible. I started writing the songs for this EP before going into the studio to record the album. I was dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts during the songwriting process. Eventually, my music saved my life before the recording sessions began. I feel better posting this and sharing with everyone. I hope to see you on the road soon.

I took this concept for my solo album with Cold Tourniquet, a acoustic grunge/post grunge/alternative project I started awhile back with pride, and enjoyed working on it […]

I wrote this song a year ago in hopes of saving some lives. I wrote it in loving memory of a friend who committed suicide for being gay. This is for you, Asher Brown.

Every story I have read left me in disarray
I wonder what I could say to you to make it all go away
I know your days are getting darker and colder
But someday, I’ll regret never being able to help you as I grow older
I’m trying to get you on the telephone
Just so you know you’re not alone

Chorus:
Hold on even when you feel like falling away
Give […]

My name is Christian. I’m a transgender. And this is my story…

It was at age 14 when I had first committed suicide. I had hung myself that cold December day of Christmas. I somehow woke up in a psychiatric hospital in restraints two weeks later. I screamed, cried, begging for mercy while restrained and wearing a medical restraint mask where I can no longer scream or talk. I was silenced, alone, insecure, afraid and no clue of where the fuck I was at the time.

Eventually, I was released from seclusion and restraints, talked to the doctors, explaining my situation. Weeks passed by in this godforsaken […]

Hi everyone I just wanted to know how do you really find trust in people. I use to do it with ease and now it seems I lerned how bad they can hurt you. Right now its like I think I got a good girlfriend and I love her with all my life but I can’t or don’t have any friends because I don’t trust them and I don’t
wanna seem smothering are overbearing can anyone help

Even though the sun shines bright today, even though life truly is wonderful this day, at this moment, I can never forget the life of suffering ahead of me and I can never forget the suffering that brought me here, because the moment I do, all my efforts and my desire to end my own life will have been nothing but shallow delusions, things just felt in the moment and not profound at all. No matter what, I will hold on this feeling. Never to let go.

The Thirt Word was “Hum,”
Caught by straining ears
As I softly release
Your trembling arms…

Hi. This will probably be really long. I just found this site yesterday, lots of different posts were showing in google when I searched stuff about suicide, I feel so bad,  I’m fighting for my life literally every minute for the last few days, never been this close to suicide before.

I feel so hopeless.  I really don’t know where to start. I’m 20 years old and I seriously want to kill myself for 5 years now.  I have been to psychiatric hospital twice in my life, first time when I was only 11. The last time I advanced in school was when I was 13 […]

I kept waiting for life to get better, like just a bit at least…
I don’t to keep thinking about how much easier it would be to die, I would never take my life though…
I’m just so tired…
Ive been in a a abusive house for all my life…I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just venting
My mother, god…if only she could open her eyes..
She has the power to stop it…
It’s an all girl household, my mother, sister, aunt and maid, so theres no male
My aunt is an alcoholic, or I dunno…when she drink like every few months
She become this […]

as far as i can remember everyday was and is a stuggle for me. I realised i am i highly sensitive individual that just doesnt fit in as SMOOTH as the rest!

Its clear to me now that its just how i was born, its my nature! I am unique and now i can can proudly say i am proud of it! its amazing that out of all ive been through i can honestly say i wouldnt wanna be anyone else. I have been through immense emotional pain. No my mother/father didnt die no i didnt witness a real tragety. I have suffered MILD abuse but […]

Im sitting on my bed. Not knowing what to do. I wish I had some friends to do nice things with. Or just hang out with..

I need contact with the outside world to feel a bit more sane. But I cant get it.

I dont know how you make people to like you. How do people make friends?

I hate being alone all the time. I dont want to be alone.