Depression is very common in my family! In fact almost everyone on my mothers side suffers from some form of depression or mental illness. As I sit watching my happy and very silly baby boy run around the yard I am plagued with the crippling fear of passing on my depression to him. I can’t bear the thought of one day Broox wanting to take his own life or harming himself in any way. I wish there was a way I could scoop him up and hide him away so he is always this happy, silly, giggly care free beautiful boy that he is right […]
Hello everybody.
Just before I recite my terribly long story, I’d like to wish you all a very pleasant day <3
So .. My story … I’m a 14 year old guy and I have been dealing with a lot emotionally for a couple of years now. Let’s start with my parents. Ever since I was young, everybody thought I had the best parents in the world. Heck, my mom even quit her job just to take care of me and my sister. You might say I’m weird, you might say I’m insensitive for hating my parents when all they do is love me. Right? Anyways, […]
We’ve all been born
To live our lives in security
How do we know if we’ll die
or if we will recover-
From day to day
We live our lives the same way
No money to hold in our hands
and no time to spend it.
So I chose the easy way out
To do my body some harm
Cut my throat and slashed my wrist
I even tried electricity
Cut my throat
Slashed my wrist
It was the easy way out.
Anybody know how to delete your account on here??
I just cant take living with my dad anymore. i thought that by moving with my mom things would get better. but as soon as i think things are blowing over. something els happens. It seems like i jus have nooooo out what so ever. im 15. but i’ve been through so much already. and nooo im not trying to tell you the same”dramatic” sad story. But everytime i get upset the only reasonable out that comes to mind is ending my life. i know that sounds crazy, but i have this thought almost every single day. and they think i want attention & i […]
I know it’s not good for me but I often find myself reminding myself what a loser ****** piece of shit I am. I’ve had that since I was a kid. I’ve wanted to evaporate into nothingness since I was 4.
I won’t lie to you guys, I’m not like a lot of those people who use this site. I don’t have the worst life ever, I don’t want to kill myself since I don’t like living. I want to kill myself because either people would forget me or I would be making their lives a better place by giving them one less loser to worry about. My plan was to purchase a Maverick 88 shotgun and bring it to school with me, (I wouldn’t shoot any of my fellow students GOD NO! I could never do that) Hide it in a gym bag or something […]
if i wasnt such a whore. if i wasnt such a smart-ass. if i was the same goody goody i was couple years back. i’d take it everything back just to live in peace.
I have bought all the tools needed for the helium hood method, followed the instructions on the final exit dvd and book thanks. I have one concern, i have 2 balloon time (50) tanks, can i use 3 tanks? To be sure nothing goes wrong, my only concern is the gas will run out?
i understand how you feel but as young as you are you need to talk to someone, I have felt the same way for as long as i can remember, now 50 im still suffering in silence everyone thinks im strong and inside im screaming for help, i dont have the courage to ask for help and ive also passed this on to my children, my daughter has recently told me that its my fault because she has severe depression as i gave her to my mum when she was 2, i also had another 2 children to the same father whom abused me physically, […]
When I was born I had the perfect family. Typical happily married young aspiring husband (my dad) and loving devoted child rearing wife (mom). Â Up until around age 3 everything was alright. Â Then even as a young kid, I noticed that my Dad yelled at my mom a lot. I didn’t understand why my mom would cry every day when my dad left for work. She started drinking a lot. She never neglected or mistreated me in any way, but she just became even more withdrawn. By The time i was 5, My family had already moved 3 times. My mother had endured giving birth […]
My mum used to be my best friend. While I was attending high school, we used to commute together, so we grew really close, spending two hours in the car together every day. When we stopped commuting, it wasn’t as easy, but we still spent a lot of time together. I felt like I could tell her anything. My brother is verbally abusive to me, and she has always been there to help me handle him.
Ever since she started dating, though, it’s like I’ve fallen off the face of the planet. She works during the week and will go to his place after an hour […]
life is a game where each one of us is the main character, with his/her unique combination of experiences and opinions .. some love the game, some hate it, some seem to embrace the duality, some don’t care about the game, some are eager for it to be over etc
life seems to matter the most if you’re too immerged in it to question its importance .. you may also come to the conclusion it doesn’t but decide to pretend it does for the people in your entourage .. I’ve read here and there that Everything that Is is the product of consciousness experiencing itself and […]
im so worn out today, i cant be dealing with any of my complicatedness. so i plan to spend the day sleeping,music, painting. andof course chatting to anyone who needs me, ladies and gentlemen im here all day 😉
My world is based apon cutting,
My heart is based apon loving,
My only is based apon giving,
My last is based apon taking.
My love is based apon knowing.
Your world is based apon lying,
Your heart is based apon hating,
Your only is based upon taking,
Your love is based apon Deciding.
Two different worlds,
Two different hearts,
Two different ideas about seeing.
Your kind is not allowed here,
Your kind is not allowed to take me apart.
You’re not welcomed here.
Sometimes I wish could die.
Always Hiding,
Like nobody understands me.
Like nobody can see.
 Dreaming is usually my happiest moments.
Maybe Im to blunt,
Maybe im to strange,
Maybe im insane but,
 I wanna be happy. Is that too hard to ask?
Always chosen last,
Nobody cares enough to ask in the first place.
He even hates,Â
I love him, he isnt happy with me I feel like.Â
He is with me so I dont die,
and I try to hide,
Do you care at all, […]
I tell people stuff to hopefully change their thinking but it is nothing I haven’t told myself. I wake up most days with the same apathy to everything as everyone. What’s the point. Everything is shit.
What does get me going at times is when I start making little steps toward the future. For example, I change the oil in my car to prolong its life. Pretty soon I have to justify that investment by being more productive with my life.
I think it’s the little steps that count. Then again, I am slightly inebriated and the alcohol is doing most of the talking. .err typing.
I’m so ashamed of myself. I’ve let everybody down. I’m such a disappointment. I’m a stupid loser who can’t do anything right. The world heavyweight champion of poor decision making. Over and over again, so much pain, I can’t take it any more.
My wife left me, but that alone is not the cause of this pain that I’m in. My parents and siblings deserve better too. And my son… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please God forgive me.
im out of smokes, out of razors, out of booze and out of weed. im off pills and in withdrawl. my ex has been spreading lies about me, and she and my other managed to take all my friends away from me. nobody likes me, nobody cares for me…if i disappeared tomorrow, they’d forget about me in a week. i’ve given up on life, on hope, on everything. i just wish someone would shoot me. or run me over. or poison me. just kill me.
Taking pills, any kind, just seems to fix evverything. Parents screaming at you, take 2. Work or school overload, another two. Max dose it up just enough to stay functional. Appetite suppressants, the great side effect of pills. Skinnier and skinner I imagine….. I’d be beautiful only if I were skinnier. He says I’m perfect but he doesn’t have to stare at my awful body, the ripples of fat every minute of everyday. I’ve gotten through this before, but now im in a relationship, i dont know how much of my bullshit he can handle. I’m doubting him and not letting my walls down. I […]