I don’t want to go into my story, I don’t want to say why I’m doing this, but what I will say is that I have suffered long enough. My whole life is hell and it’s only getting worse and worse. It will never get better. I think I might end my life either tonight or Thursday night; Thursday night is most likely. I would like to talk about it some though… if only to feel less alone.

I’m over.

im frikkin deaf from blasting suicide silence, asking alexandria, my children my bride, lamb of god, and cannible corpse…-brain explosion- whoa.

I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still […]

I have hated myself since I can remember. I always thought I was worthless. I remember looking at myself in the mirror when I was 5 and thinking ‘I hope my face changes and looks better when I grow up’. I’ve never fit in with anyone and I cry a lot. I feel like my body is a prison and I would do anything to be free. Suicidal thoughts take control of my life when I am on a low. I can’t get rid of them. I’ve had these thoughts since I was 10 years old. I battle myself constantly and it’s exhausting. Only my […]

The line between sane and insane (reality and imagination) is skewed heavily and it’s getting hard to decipher and find out if it’s which. How do I slow down the process of insanity? I still have my head, but not for forever.

How do I fix this? Memory games? Extra reading? Keeping my mind off of any critical thinking? I got the last one covered, this whole weekend I avoided thinking and further depressing myself. At least I ain’t going back to asphyxiating myself.

This is odd. Is it really insanity? Or is it just another disorder. Or maybe I’m actually getting schizo, after creating another persona […]

I’m listening to a song as I work on my project. I do 3D modelling for personal release even if it isn’t comeplete. I’ve been working on an eye since eyes are another thing I’ve drawn well that hasn’t stopped. Eyes see everything even what they brain doesn’t process. Pain, happniess, sadness, weakness, strength joy, it see the world and what you see is reflected in them when the camera captures you in a freeze.

My eyes see the blurr frm tears that won’t fall. I’m still doing anything to distract myself because I have no real hope anymore. Just a passive motion. I’m […]

The fucking country were I was born it is making me more suicidal. Everyday I have to listen all kind of bullshit and stupidity, it is like everyone is trying to be as ignorant and rude as possible. Sick and tired, everytime I go out, I just can think: I hate this place if I have to stay here I will kill myself..

Just dying. I have really little, if anything to live for. I have a hard time imagining any accomplishment that would cause me to transcend the feeling of wanting to be dead that I’ve been experiencing for the past several months. I have done yoga. I have done meditation. I’ve taken all kinds of medication and talked about every aspect of my life. Tried to tie up loose ends in my relationships, but I am broken.

My family is use to me being this strong person and think I will make it through but the truth is I’m not strong. The force that drove my strength is gone my ex and kids I hurt so bad know that I’m forced to look from the outside in. I will do anything to change it bring them back. I can’t do this anymore. If home is where the heart is I’m as long way. From it. I don’t want anyone else I just want my life back without that why live. I’m not strong I’m human I care I hurt I bleed. They […]

What’s one thing you’d like to leave behind when you die? I’d like to touch someone’s life in a way that would make a difference. I want to inspire someone to do good and to mean something to them. What about you guys? What do you want to leave behind?

well, ive never been  somewhere where people kid of feel the same and i think it’ll do me good to like wriite this openly

im 17 and ive grown up with mysisters dad till ten who menaly and physicaly abused me.. he left. i also lived with a abusive alcoholic mum who constantly hiit,put me down and basically fucked me up (god iwish i knew this website earlier)

4 months ago my mum went to prison and im glad, my nan rescued me and im now living in a stable enviroment

ive felt alone most my life and never shared any of it to be honest except with […]

im so happy i could actually cry, im so glad i found this site. most of us feel like we dont fit in, we have issues and we feel alone. na’aww im so happy to realise im not the only one

Why do you guys think that music is such a huge trigger for people. I can definitely say that it is a trigger for me. I always cry when i listen to music. even if its happy music. it really sucks because i love music so much. it just makes me so upset and depressed. 🙁 liek right now. im listening to music and im fighting back an emotional burst right now.

i just dont know how i feel anymore, about anything? that doesent really make sence but thats how i feel. i feel completly alone, dont really get out of bed either.. when i go see a few of my close friends i feel normal and good for a while but i suppose thats because i just get stoned. i suppose ive told them how i feel but they dont get it, they just reply with shit like things will get better but i dont feel like they will? i feel empty and drained and bored of living. i litterally stay in bed and listen to depressing […]

The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating

As much as […]

i feel so emotionally numb last few days, these are the times i would usually cut but have managed not to. it feels like a thick cloud is hanging over me so i am in misery yet i am still numb, id rather be in pain, i would rather feel something, anything atall.

uh…just staring at this cut on my wrist…kinda depressed…=～= ill get over it….

So. I’m not dead.

I’m still as depressed as ever, And the ‘voice’ has developed. His name is Daniel. I know what he looks lik, does this make him real?

I have a new boyfriend. It’s long distance but i hope that we can make it work, He’s too amazing to let slip away.

I really don’t know what to say on here anymore.  I guess my story is done.

no, cuz u arent thinking, iv given hints that your the one who hurt me along with my ex oh god my ex has done more damage than u but u still hurt me only cuz i thought we were friends we understood each other u say “dont leave me here” ” i wont leave so easily” “im always here” was all of that a lie cuz now i hardly here from you i remember talking hours and hours til one of us fell asleep into the cruel nights. its like i lost a great amazing friend. where did u go?