I’m addicted to sex.

It’s sad really, I get excited in the beginning, but once it’s happening, the magic dies and it’s numbing. I don’t know why the excitement doesn’t last, but I can’t stop or want him to stop.

Just the feeling of him pushing into me, retreating, entering, leaving, I never want him to stop even though I’m not excited anymore. I guess it’s knowing that even though he leaves me, he’ll always come back on time. It’s maintaining that schedule, the rhythm that I long for.

Even when he’s satisfied, I never want him to stop. If I had it my way, I would want […]

I can’t remember: Ever having a role model, feeling love, having a crush on someone, Feeling trust, having dreams or goals,real motivation,Truely being exited about anything,Caring about anything deeply, not living in anger and depression,Being patriotic,A time I relaxed,            

I can remember: all the useless “medicine I took, falling for lies, suicide attempt,how mental hospital make  things worse and feed my anger, Watching my problems progress, the eventual lack of caring about everything, how depression robbed me of the ability of enjoyment, how it can still get worse no matter what, the weeks worth of time I have spent researching suicide , bullies, trying to figure out everything about the world and after […]

So, my wife fucked another dude about 2 years ago and then left me for the guy I caught her with.  I then got fucked over by the feminist judge after the Mrs. pleaded the BS “emotional abandonment routine” in court even though we had what I thought was a great relationship and now I pay her about 90% of my paycheck.  On top of that she got the house, the kids, blah blah blah.  Her and her family then got her sister to come out and said I had slept with her when I had not and she was 15 at the time so […]

I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.

I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]

If something is not said does not mean you don’t think it or want it but somehow that is acceptable.

Jules

I hate myself
When I talk to her
I want to hurt myself
When I think about her I want to hurt myself
When I remember you words
I want to end my life
I want to cry
I don’t have the balls to die.
I’m stronger then I appear at my weakest
But I’m always T my weakest.

A few minutes ago for about half an you I just wanted to cut myself… I feel better after posting this. Thank you. I love you all

Latley been feeling like i need to cry. But no matter what i just cant. Somtimes crying helps. My world is crashing down around me an no matter what i cant cry. But i really need to….

I can’t believe my own friend made me cut myself just now. I haven’t cut myself in about a month and there, she made me do it. Yes I blame her. I literally fucking hate everyone and I wish I was dead. I’m sick of fucking trying to make everyone happy when no one gives 2 shits about me. Fuck everyone and everything, I wanna overdose and I don’t fucking regret it. I’m bleeding right now and I blame society. How can anyone be so selfish? I wanna freaking die already, I wish I die soon. I can’t take this pain no more. I hope […]

It bothers me when people who are living a perfectly normal life with no problems whatsoever say they’re suicidal. To me, saying you’re suicidal isn’t a joke at all. If you have nothing to be angry about life, why should you joke around with the meaning? I been suicidal since I was 12 but you know what, I’m trying my best to not do anything stupid. Living with my family isn’t the best place to be right now because there is constantly arguing and fighting going on while I have so called “friends” who are never there when I need them and whom only cares […]

After surviving I realized how much I really do want to die. I seriously hate 99.9% of the world. If I don’t let my anger out soon,I’ll burst. I just have to make it to August. Counselors and medicine is bull. I just can’t wait to be dead,I feel as if I have lived my life. When people say “you’re to young to die” I stop and think,what that really means. 13 is old to me. I’m not throwing a pity party. Tell me why I’m so depressed.

“……….”
I knew I had to come here and post SOMETHING…ANYTHING. But what do i say? That..I’m going to face the facts that I will be alone for the rest of my life. That I’m not worth as much as i thought I was…not even as pretty as I thought. That my razor is the only thing I have to love that is truly mine. My razor is the ONLY thing that loves me and my skin. Maybe…I give up and give in. Maybe I let my razor kiss my wrists tonight and bleed the meaning of the words i cant find…because SOMETHING ends tonight.

I lied.

I told them to be happy when

I’m most certainly not.

I told them things get better when

I doubt that they ever will.

I told them to always have hope when

I’ve lost all of mine.

I told them everyone’s beautiful when

I feel ugly all the time.

I told them to always stay strong when

I’m slowly breaking as days go by.

Credit: watch-me-bleed.tumblr.com

Why should I bother wasting my time to try to make other people happy when I’m not happy? Its fucking ridiculous and I really don’t know why I continue to do so each time. Everyone always comes to me for advice but then when I need something in return its like “wtf you’re stupid you’re psycho”. This is why I hate everyone… literally. I always wish to be alone and I can’t wait until I’m old enough to live alone far from everyone. I can’t even depend on my family. Even if I’m in a bad mood, I am just that person that has […]

Ever since I started smoking, I don’t know if its the weed but my self esteem dropped down completely and my anger problems have gotten even worse. I stopped smoking and I still have the same problems so I’m started to worry about myself and others around me. The majority of the time, I just burst out whatever is on my mind at the moment which is things I regret in the future. I can’t talk about it with my family cause they’ll think I’m psycho but I truthfully wanna know what’s the matter with me. I know it doesn’t sound like such a difficult […]

Little angel, don’t you see how beautiful you are?
It’s time to stand up and wipe the blood from your eyes.
You are fighting this hopelessness and the end  seems so far.
For every second that passes, it feels like a part of you dies.
And they make you feel as if your feelings are not up to par.
But it is time to be strong cus I’m right beside you, fighting the lies

I am fifteen and up until recently my life was fine. I was already depressed but I didn’t have any problems with my life. I know I’m talked about and picked on at school but I didn’t realize how much until after the big event that ruined my life. I know others don’t know that I’m any weaker and more vulnerable than before but I feel like the talking about me and messing with me has gotten a lot worse since my mom moved away. I didn’t have much of a choice but to stay here with my grandparents and my sister. My sister has […]

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. what more can i say besides fuck? im sick of myself. sick of depending on everyone else, sick of wanting everyone to support me, sick of the charity that comes with being a depressed fuck. i wish i could get rid of myself already. i cant do shit at this point. im too fucking drunk to do anything besides finish this bottle and die. and just so you know, SUICIDE HOTLINES ARE FUCKING USELESS!!!! the last time i tried, the ****** just stuttered like, shit, what do i say? dude ill tell you what to say: fuck me, i […]

iv been unemployed for 4years plus and my gcse are rubbish and there no chanc of my life improveing iv applyed to go back to collage iam hopeing they take me back. i do jui jitsu to help me stay up but my coach is hardly there and the students are rubbish there no other gyms in my area ether. my brother younger 2 years is a marine and all my family rave on about him and my gf is an A level student and is joinin the raf as a medic she is sucsessful i get 40+ hrs a week of no human contact. […]

I am uncertian now. Everytime I go past thinking about it and actually set up what I need to do it I cannot bring myself to do it because of the constant thoughts of “It could still get better” Also imagining myself happy living however I choose and I hate these thoughts that I see no truth in. I wanted to hang myself and I set the noose up and stood there wearing it but there was no way to make myself jump. My only attempt was when I as 14 I took 200 tylenol and 100 asprin without even researching. I assumed I […]

a numbing agent I can buy at the store that works on skin. thanks.