That is all I truly am. I am the fat monster who knows no better. I see the mirror and I want to break it. The reflection is what makes me angry. To see my messed up face and my large body is to much to bare.  I have had food thrown at me like an animal and I have been put down by everyone. I try so hard to fit into this dark world but I can’t. I open the doors for the ladies as I hope their hope and any pain they may feel will go away. My mom is the only one who has […]
Hello Everybody.
If you are reading this, then I did finally got through with it and killed myself. I know right now that everybody is very very sad, shocked and hurt by this, maybe even angry, but I hope that you will all understand that that I thought about this a lot and have to to no other decision or choice. I’ve spent years and hours thinking about what I have finally done. It really makes sense if you think about it. I am a musician and frankly not really worth any time or effort. Sure I play music, but society itself really has very little […]
When I self harmed myself , I didn’t bare too think about how it would effect my family , or my friends . or even myself esteem . I know it was a miskate , but I don’t regret it . I did what I did, too let my pain go away , I tryed crying instead of self harm , never worked . & for a couple months I even burned myself , i also used too starve myself, but i loved food to much so id fail within maybe 10 hours . but self harming myself was a way too cope with my […]
Here I lay,
Here I cry,
Is that the devil at my side?
If you wish
You can hide,
but don’t you dare die!
You are what’s keeping me here
So, please, stay near,
You are very dear
Without you, I’m cold,
I’m all alone.
If you diminish
I will be finished.
People don’t hear it,
You are my spirit.
Or maybe they do,
And they try to kill you.
But no matter the tears they bring,
You must sing!
Because I fear
When you aren’t here.
Fuck the world and the government They put a label on you when your born. Boys are blue and girls are pink why are they so sexes im lesbian and it makes it harder to live with all the rules think like a girl act like a lady..well im like a man in a girls body and gay boys its okay to be feminem like I said we dont need to be label and for HomoPhobs fuck off because you have NO clue what its like to be like us !!
THANKYOU !
It started when I was 11, the bullying. It was simple at first; called fat and ugly. It started to excel though, through out the year. I was a heavy set child, short and pudgy. But not obese. I told my mum, she said I just wanted attention. I let it keep happening for a couple months, then it got out of hand. I started being followed home by a couple of boys. They rode bikes usually, sometimes skateboards. I didn’t know what they wanted with me. A couple weeks after, a brick broke my window in the middle of the night. There was a […]
As i sit here i am playing “Born to Be Somebody” by Justin. Ive been listening to it for about 30 minutes now. ive never been one who’s into his music, but this song is helping me with my broken wings.
I am so tired, emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, just everything in me is tired. I wake up each and everyday and i plant a smile on my face. what else can i do? i was born into a family of strong christian faith and this, my feelings, my broken wings are not acceptable. So i hide. Smiling in my mother’s face like a hypocrite, laughing […]
OK. This is me singing “Kiss Me”. But you have to cut me some slack because I’m recovering from a cold and haven’t sung in a while. Some of the timing’s off as well; I slowed it down quite a bit. Also, it sounds really weird and creepy because it’s a cappella because I cannot play any instruments. It’s just the first verse and chorus. Now, do you think I can sing? Honestly.
Get Lost [[[please read this, don’t pass it up, I only joined this site so I can share stuff with others, DUH :P]]
You try and try again
But the pages keep filling themselves in
How ever much you want to change
Things will never be the same
And the pages keep filling themselves in
There’s no room to stop
With no choice but to get lost
Lost in the pages you help create
This is a book written in pen, you cannot erase
This is life and you’re only given time
Time to waste
And skip a few things
Miss a few words, misunderstand a few scenes
Get lost within the stories we all make
It’s just a big reality we all face
We’re forced to get to the end, but it’s not a race
Since the beginning, you get more pages each […]
Hi guys…
I’m really struggling right now with a lot of stuff… according to my psychiatrist I’m “clinically depressed,” but I’m on meds and they aren’t helping. I hate myself more than anything else in the entire world. I self-harm (that’s what it’s called, right?)–cut my ankles so no one can see. I have wonderful family and friends who all care about me very much and who would be destroyed if I died, but I just can’t see any other option right now. Every minute of my waking life consists of making plans to kill myself… I just completed my suicide note (it’s a poem… am […]
i hate life right now. i just cant win. being bullied isnt fun..being invisible isnt fun at all. why cant i just be fucking happy???? ahh life: FUCK IT!
Oh my it’s almost here. I can’t stand the intensity of this fear..It’s almost here, the end is so very near. I am scared, I am worried. I should have of never hurried. I just rushed my own death, right when life was at its best. Gosh, I messed up so bad..Now the world around me is ever so sad.. They know its the end, i had to tell them.. They are my family, my life..They have been here throughout all this pain and strife..They saved me many times, but they can’t save me now…Out of the billions of words they could have said when I […]
I’ve been wanting to address this idea for at least a few days now. I know that I am not going to recover and that redemption is not by any means guaranteed. I almost feel sorry for people that feel that way since it can be a real set up for disappointment and for me not worth pursuing. Truly I can’t tolerate any more disappointment I’d rather just be satisfied with the beating I’ve taken, the fact that I lost.
I would just say “Yes, Steve, you lost.”
I look at the cuts on my wrist
Mirrored by the scars from the past.
I gaze into the mirror at my tear-stained face
Hoping to comprehend my sad, red eyes.
I stare at my wrist in the mirror
Trying to connect the image with myself.
I feel as if this is not real
This is not me.
I wish to understand why I couldn’t reach out
Why is asking for help so hard?
Anger rising, rushing through my veins
Thoughts racing, running through my brain.
I can’t take this, all this hate.
I don’t want failure to be my fate.
I am unable to give a f*ck anymore,
So please go walk out that f*cking door!
He and she is no longer we
And I don’t want it to be!
Just let me go, say goodbye.
Let me go and watch me fly.
Hopefully I’ll soar up to God,
Or maybe just get beaten by a metal rod.
F*ck this life, I give up.
No more strife, put my ashes in a cup.
Spread them in a forest in the fall
Or maybe dress me […]
Tears from heaven,
fall from the sky,
they touch my arm and make me cry,
i look up and see the sorrow from above,
where everybody has forgotton love,
i see the pain reflected in your eyes,
youre the one who cries,
your the one who falls to your knees,
begging someone to take away your pain please,
your the one who has lost someone you love,
how you wish to join them up above,
where the stars shine brightly,
the doves gleam white,
the sngels spread their wings and take off in flight,
they fly down from above to send you a kiss of forgotten love,
open your heart remember once more,
the heavens stop crying when you open that […]
I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items […]
Can’t concentrate. Can’t concentrate since I saw you today. Since you asked me if I was coming, since I said “noâ€. I felt so horrible. I said “noâ€, but my heart screamed out loud “yes, of course!”. Unfortunately you couldn’t hear my heart screaming and beating loud. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to say anything else, then “noâ€. Unfortunately I couldn’t lie to you, because I never lie intentionally to you.
My thoughts were racing to fast for me…â€why are you not coming? Because she will go there to! Yeah but don’t you want to be around her? Of course I want so badly to be around […]
Hi , um , i don’t actually know where to start … My name ? I’m Hanna … How old am i ? I’m 14 … And i’m tired of life …
I’m a happy person , i smile when im around friends … but when i go home ? Disaster … my mom , she yell’s at every single thing i do , if I get a good grade at school , she looks at the older , badder grades . It’s like , my family hates me , Â I don’t have a father , all i have is my stepfather , and he’s , […]