Sometimes I want to just end it all. Everything seems so hard for me to cope with.. And having absolutley noone that underdtands me makes it worse. People think and say I shouldnt be so dowm, and depressed all the time but, I can’t just stop. I’m a messed up teenage girl, Can anyone Redefine Happiness..??
I’m 27. On the outside I appear to be a relatively well-adjusted, responsible, single Midwestern gal. On the inside, I’m screaming. Waiting for my life to end. I’ve been depressed/suicidal off and on since I was 15. One relatively severe cycle almost got me kicked out of college. I had to go to therapy, which was no help at all. I quickly grew bored of it and to expedite my exit from that requirement, I told the therapist what she wanted to hear. Fast forward a few years, I had broken things off with my first really serious boyfriend and rebounded to a guy a […]
I got really annoyed today in school. In my first lesson I got called out by the counsellor, I was confused because I sorted it out all before. ( I told her I would stop cutting and she believed me) So anyway she comes and tells me someone has told her i’ve been cutting again. I was like WTF because I havn’t cut since before.  So we had a massive chat about stuff and then she says if I get called out again she would have to tell parents. And this is supposed to be confidential WTF.
When I eventually got back to class I told my friend that someone had told […]
since i was little, iv been everywere,lived in city after city, putting myself in placements so i could get away from the abuse,even wen noone wanted me,never could fit in,well i started running from treatment facilities and group homes,everytime they put me in a different city, i had the impulse to run,i would run so fast, i felt free, like noone could catch me,most people couldnt,im in my own palce now later on,i still have that adrenalin, i crave it, feeling the rush is like a drug to me,i love big cities and looking at all the tall buildings and everything around me,its like i […]
Never been noticed, haven’t been noticed, will not be noticed. The one I like is right in front if my eyes, but I’m behind his back, were I belong. It feels horrible that I will never have a chance with him. There will be another girl who won’t make him suffer, will make him smile, and will love him and show him what true love is. I’ll just stay behind and won’t waste his time.
Sometimes I wonder if wanting to die is just trying to connect body to mind, because I feel dead inside, and I have for a long time.
Nothing’s changed in my life. I’m still a 26-year old student assistant. I should be happy to even have a job, but I have to pay $250 quarterly just to keep it. And I’m only taking classes to have the job, so it’s not like that’s adding up to anything useful. I have no worth, here.
I have no friends. No, really, I don’t. Not one. I have people that call me every four months to tell me that something […]
This quote is in several articles online about happiness.
“First, your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. “
Which can sort of be related to the Matrix quote
Agent Smith: “Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming […]
Hello lovely people,
My name is Jocylyn but everbody calls me Joyy. I am here if you need somebody to talk too. If im your last resort then thats fine too, I just want to make you happy. You all are Kings and Queens and I can prove to you that you are. Have a wonderful day. 🙂
Is the “survivor” the one that attempts and survives OR a friend and/or fam of a person that killed themself? It is exactly 2 years today that my brother took his life. 270 to his head. Yes it was a success as far as suicide is concerned. Were there other options? I would like to think so. But I recognize he may not have felt the options were available. I only know my specific situation. I have zero right to say what others might do or think about doing. I am available to talk to, to answer questions in honesty.
I’ve come to the conclusion that im a complete waste of space, and i want to eliminate this pointless shitstain of an existence i call a life from the face of the earth.
My whole life i was labeled ugly and worthless, and any word that can add the prefix “un” would describe me. Im unathletic, untalented, unattractive, unimportant, unmotivated, uninteresting, unappealing, basically anything you can think of.
I grew up with my father always angry, and telling me i was a worthless human being. He would say it was his way of building me up to be a man, but all it did was make me […]
i dont know what to do… i like my ex agai… ive been waiting for her for 5-6 years now and shes in a relationship, but thats kinda going dwn the drain and ive been talking to ppl and they say she’s just using me and or toying with me. one minute she would flirt with me and the other she will keep her distance… were already doing “couple like things” where whang out everyday and text everyday, and even talk on the phone till we fall asleep every other day. ppl say that im her fall to guy but i dont want to be […]
I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy.
I have no real friends that I can talk to anymore and I have no idea what I truly want to do or where my life is going. I went to college and I have a stable job. But I didn’t make it in life. I am an average person; I am a loser. I wake up, go to work, eat, shower, watch TV, eat, read a book, sleep—repeat. That’s it. Nothing spectacular but nothing that miserable.
I am afraid this is my life. This is it. There is nothing more.
I no longer have any real desire. […]
no matter where i go, i cant seem to make friends that are real, i always run into minipulaters,people that use me for money or something, wen you get to know me, im not as weird as if you were a complete stranger tryin to talk to me,its so hard to make friends,is there anyone that has the same problem?i just want someone i can relate to, and talk to, and not only about life, mabey jokeing around or laughing and being happy, or trying to,if there is,i was wondering if you would want to get to know me, and be my friend,its easyier to […]
I’ve decided to bore you all with a day of my life to see if anyone can relate to having “a good life” and thus having no reason to feel so bad all the time. Let me save you some time and summarize: whine, whine, whine, *****, complain, I hate everything, my friend tried to kill herself.
BAM. just saved you oodles of time.
It’s 6am. I’m tired, already tired and the day hasn’t even started for me yet. I couldn’t sleep last night, just like most nights, and stayed up until 1. I put on clothes, they could be any clothes really, they could be […]
I was reminded tonight of just how horrible of a person I am. It has been made clear to me that I am one of the worst friends a person can have. I’m self-center, uncaring, and one-sided. I used to think that I was an okay friend, that people could count on and come to when they were in need; but appreantly I am the complete opposite of what I believe.
That is the second person to tell me similar things, so apparently it’s true. According to the first one, the world is better off without people like me. I’m really starting to believe that, and […]
I can’t help but feel ashamed of the decisions I’ve made in the past that have left me utterly trapped, confused, hopeless and miserable now. When I was 13 I was admitted to a psych ward where I was prescribed risperidone which I took every night because I was too much of a ***** to refuse. I tried to spit it out but the nurses gave me orally disintegrating tabs which made it practically impossible to do so. After a while there I gave up and decided to just start swallowing it. I now regret it more than ever.
Psychiatric drugs have permanently ruined my body, […]
… ive been cutting since i was 12….when i was little….my hole family got torn apart…my sister died…i was a year old thats when everything fell apart my dad got aressted and my mom left a year later to go run off with a guy and do drugs…year after that my sister was born and then a fews later taken away and put up for adoption…ive been living with my grandma since i was two…and then…my being picked on…really started about say…1st grade i got called ugly and stupid and frizzy haired freak….all names you can think of…and i belived them…i used to say i […]
I’ve been cutting myself for a while and I can’t take living anymore
My boyfriend saw his dad get killed and i don’t know how to act around him now that I know because he thinks he’s a waste to the world and a few nights ago he stabbed himself and it’s the day that his ather was killed tomorrow so he’s very emotional and I think I upset him because he ended up crying and begging me not to break up with him but I just asked if he hated me because he was being a jerk
Anyways
When I was 12 I got […]
Ever since i was a kid, maybe 8 or so, i have been self harming (i guess i can call it that). when i was younger and got super pissed or upset or something, i would bite my hand as hard as i could. kinda weird, i know. something about that physical pain was almost soothing. As i grew older i started to punch things instead of biting myself. i would punch things until my knuckles couldnt take anymore. that was my method for years, until recently i started burning (aka branding). Im almost 18 now and i just realized that i have been physically […]
I realized that it was me. Everything that’s gone wrong in my life; all the failures is because of me. My situation, circumstances, the people around me, and such had nothing to do with it. It was all me. I control my life. I did this to myself. I should be only angry with me. I am digging my own pit. It was all me. I should blame myself for not changing. For not caring. No one else is to blame.
Though I realize it now I think I knew about this all along.
Now I sound self-centered and really whiny….I’m sorry.