Seriously, think back to your teen years or if you are a teen think about it. Everything suck.For me it’s like no one listens,caring, or understands anything about me. I have like no friends so i bury all of my emotions deep down inside. I’m extremely socially awkward. I’m supper shy and it’s hard for me to make friends. I only have 2 friend and one has moved so far away that i will probably never see her again. I’m stuck in the poorest city in america and I really don’t belong here. I hate it so much that I isolate myself in cyber school […]
what is it that they dont get,they can say they know you well, but the moment you put a front up all day to hide the pain behind a smile they assume your happy, then when you finnaly brake down, they say,(stop it, you were happy all day,)well go fuck your self cause if you knew me you would know i hide my emtions, and that was a front,they are so stupid, i even tell them and they must forget or something,i never make sence,or mabey those assholes from the group homes never been through the shit i did or even been through shit to […]
Yesterday I got my living will in order. Cashed in all of my investments and assets. Paid off all my major bills up until the date of my demise. Still have to buy food and sundries though. As well as going to quite a few events and purchasing a lot of anime and asian horror to watch up until the day. Sent off my contributions to the local children’s hospitals. May go and visit again the week before I go.
For once I am at peace.
No more pain and prescription side effects. from the mental meds and the physical meds. Strange how even living a healthy […]
It’s been a month or more. things have been better i guess. to say that i’m suicidal now isn’t entirely true. i’m not even sure if i ever was. I tried it a couple times, yea, but were they really that serious? i have a hard time inflicting self harm.. i still love the thought of being nonexistant though. i’ve read a few stories on here tonight that really made me think. thanks for that
The smallest things can make a person depressed. i guess my story isn’t the only one full of wonderful things. i couldn’t ask for a better life really.. i just don’t […]
I want to be angry. At God. At the people around me. But I can’t. Because I got this idea stuck in my head that every screwed up thing in my life is completely my fault. Damn it! (sorry) Ugh. I just need to calm down. 17 more days. just 17 more days that’s it.17 more days of smiles and lies. No biggie. right? Does anybody wanna talk?? I could really use someone to talk to if you don’t mind
Hope everyone is doing well…..nights can be a pain in the arse to deal with
I’m turninq eiqhteen on the 21 but I don’t think I can make It.My birthday Is cominq up so shouldn’t I be happy?The whole day I’ve literally been depressed.I told my social worker that I need to qo back to the hospital.She said no It’s about time I qet my life toqether,first I need to qet my tattoos removed and qet my GED.She doesn’t understand that I want help.I’m tired of this depression.I’m tired of hidinq my cuts.I want to die.Tomorrow Is when I’ll be leavinq.I was qonna do It today but I just realized that I want to write a suicide note.I’m take the […]
Since the day of my birth I have been made fun of for my appearance. Harsh judgement and bad treatment has followed me where ever I go. From hiding in the restroom and faking my own sickness to get away from the bullying in my elementary school, to dreading the visit of relatives from my father’s bloodline due to their constant act of sexual molestation towards me: I now understand how I was screwed up in the head. The only way anyone appreciated me (other than my loved ones) was when I allowed others to touch me in an inappropriate matter. This was the only way to […]
this is it im done i hav no friends no family nothing to live for ive often daydreamed of going out at night and jst laying down on the train tracks and jst wait for the nightly train yea that would b a fitting end for me ihope this works wish me luck
Standing here breathless
Paralyzed and blinded
In the end of the bottomless
Agony beyond imagination
Searing me within
Nails pounded into my soul
Only to be removed and replaced
The torture slow and unending
I can barely pretend
Every smile causes me a thousand knives to the heart
Every laugh chimes, a haunting scream only for me to hear
I’m unable to bear much more
There is no turning back
The path behind has disappeared
There is only down deeper into my menacing self
No light shines here
Looking up in the distance
I can see you, your smiling face
Your trivial thoughts flicker under your […]
Im not sure why I am really posting this, but praphs this will help me in some sort of way. I am a lost individual who i guess cannot cope with life. I have been this way since 15, since i can remember i always felt like i dont belong in this society, almost as though it ruins me -Â than i realised i ruin myself. So… people who dont know me, which means everyone in this world maybe apart from my father and mother would think i have ‘everything’, i mean after all im’pretty’, have a part – time job, currently doing a law dagree […]
Why continue with something that keeps me in a permanent state of unhappiness? Once you over examine your life like I have, you will realise just how fucking pointless it is. The way that humanity has turned out, is pointless. After all life just replicates itself with the seasons passing, and will continue to do so with us or without us.  We are not free people to who live freely, we have been chained to the monetary system, from which there is no escape.
Life’s subjective purpose is to procreate. It’s objective is something I Â can only speculate as being meaningless in the end. Nothing really fucking […]
i speak the truth, and mabey my truth is harsh but i only give people what they ask for,
and thats the way i am, life took me to hell and i came back with a fucked up mind and its all i got, so people can just deal with it like i do,and if its to much for people to take, then they can walk in my shoes and retrace my steps and come back with the same mind i got, an know youll never be the same again,i wont change for anybody,
Hello,
I came here after watching a video on TED: http://www.ted.com/talks/jd_schramm.html
Personally, I don’t think talking to people helps. Quite simply because they do not know what to do, not that they don’t care. Also, here is my personal story: I first considered taking the fall five years ago and then again this year. Here is what I found. I never ever gave myself some time and respect that I always did to others. I do not know where this came from, but that is what I always did. Put everything before me, everytime. I also have a nicotine addiction which, ironically, is what has kept me […]
I can truly understand how people here feel. I have a good life. Yet the littlest things set me off into this downward spiral. And I know it could be much worse. Fortunately I have managed to keep things under control. But it just sucks because I shouldn’t feel this way. I am independent, I have some good friends, and I successfully graduated from a great college. I have a job I like and family/pets to keep me company. But still, I feel like many of my friends and family don’t get me. I just don’t want to worry about tomorrow. People talk about the […]
I’m deciding to end it.
It’s being decided slowly, but everyday the urge to end my life gets stronger and stronger.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am physically sick from this depression.
God, where are you?
Can you hear me?
Are you even real?
Why are you ignoring me?
I need to know you exist.
It’s making me physically ill.
I’m terrified of death, but i know that if i kill myself, i wouldn’t even know i died because the pain will be gone.
I know all these worries will be gone.
My depression will be gone.
I will be gone.
Please God, if you exist, if i actually have a purpose, show me.
Show me that […]
I tried it again. By it i mean suicide. It want to die put i care about two people  a lot so i just can’t do that to them. It would be wrong and hurt them deeply. I want to die peacefully. I drank some rubbing alcohol last night. I hoped i wouldn’t wake up this morning. I feel really sick. I almost puked it tasted disgusting. I cut my wrist because i was mad i wasn’t dead. I might try again if i don’t die by Wednesday. I haven’t been eating because it hurts my stomach. well that’s all i have to say about my life. It helps […]
Earlier in the school year I actually likes school but now I really hate it. It is so hard to get out of bed every morning knowing that I have to face going to school. I am so bored every day and nothing interests me. I spend all my time online between when I get hame from school and when I go to bed because there is nothing in my life that interests me. I feel so depressed all the time it makes me feel like I will explode because I just feel se trapped in my own head, like I am a prisoner to […]
When i was in rehab and after a few days i finally had a clear head again, when i did i started having a recurring dream.
To this day im not sure if it is a dream or a nightmare.
I wrote this in my journal after the third night.
Dream or Nightmare
I have had the same dream for the last three nights. In the dream i woke up in our bed and she was not lying beside me. I bend over and turn on the lamp. I can hear crying off in the next room. I get up walk slowly down the corridor. When i reach the room […]
So I recently gathered together all of the things from that time in my life–everything that holds negative connotations that came into my life over the past three years, from scissors and razors to the belt from my last attempt and poems and bloody tissues and whatever else–and I put all of this in a shoebox until I’d collected everything. Then I went out with my boyfriend into the back field, and we were looking for a tree to bury it by, when I saw the tree where one of my goats had died (she got her hoof stuck in between two branches and broke […]
If you’re born into a poor family, an abusive family, a rich family, a strict family, a dumb family, a broken up family, a close-together family, a famous family…you just have to suffer (or for some, enjoy the privleges). It sucks, you come into this world with everything planned for you, and you’re forced to accept it. Try to run away…you’ll be on your way back home. Try to call CPS…they’ll tell you to stay home because your living conditions aren’t “bad enough”. It’s all ridiculous; absolutely ridiculous. What more will it take for people to realize that we’re all nothing but slaves?