Sometimes suicide is the only way to go.
When cutting yourself has lost its touch.
when nothing feels right and everything is wrong
you cant brethe and when you do it hurts
when your ex wants to be friends and you love
him but you cant have him. when at night you cry yourself to sleep. yet you wake up in the middle of a nightmare and think of your stupid life and how totally useless you are then you start to think about how easily it will be.

I am a pedophile. There, it’s out in the open for the first time ever. I have sexual feelings towards boys, and it is breaking me down. It started in my childhood, when I experimented with a friend who was the same age, and now I’m stuck with it. I’m in my twenties now, and although I have never abused a child, I do have fantasies and I have visited illegal websites countless times. I don’t feel anything for women, and I’ve never had a girlfriend.

On top of this, I’ve recently been put aside by people whom I considered to be my best friends. They […]

i follow every single rule in place for me, why can i get out of the fucking system? then you get these lucky bitches who get off and they are in no shape or place to be and they go and do drugs or illigal shit,while im working my ass off, i want to run far away,but the only people that would even look for me is the cops,im 21 years old,i feel like a slave, slaves had to fight for there freedom to and thats exactly what im doing,i want so much in life that the average person that walksd past me gets, that […]

I am going through a depression because I lost my job a year ago. Some days I just want to disappear from the face of the earth and just cease to be. Some days I am more hopeful…

A chain made of halos from fallen angels binds me to the darkness

An existence subdued by the malignance that stalks from within

The pain envelops me, wringing out these last few drops of  hope

Unspoken torment feasts on the binding of my soul

Shadows lurking in the corners of my mind, undetected, waiting for my weakest moment

The assault, like a flame to paper, is instant and unforgiving

That bright flicker soon gives way to the smoking ash of defeat

The remnants of my rumination scatter in the wind

The ghost of a breath, […]

I am not looking for help, for words of pity. Nor do I want to be lied about a diety that “loves me” and has a plan for me. I have a plan: end my life.
I have not found the right method and appropriate time to end my mysery. Reason? I am sick of getting rejected time after time after time. If someone was to observe my life from utside in a thumbnail, they would think my life is enviable. I get to travel around the world, have a decent salary, get to spoil myself doing whatever I want. Right.
I am 31 […]

My life sucks i’m 22  had already had numerous atempts all failed for no explaineble reason took a box of sleeping pills nothing happend tried to hang my self rope broke (strong dynema 5 mm thick witch is as strong as steel wire of 7 mm thick) broke for no aparent reason

Now i’m feeling like this again.

moved to an other country to be with my girlfriend left everything behind only took my 12 year old dog

he died few weeks ago one moment he was fine the next he’s laying dead in my arms didn’t get over that yet

and now suddenly with no apperant reason my girlfriend […]

I want to do it. One of my friends doesn’t socialize, and sits around playing video games all day. My other friends are self-absorbed and don’t talk to me anymore because they don’t like to listen to me when I have a problem. I hate my job. I can’t go to a bar or party to take my mind off my life because my mother monitors everything about me. She reads my journals, checks my purchases on my bank account, and rifles through my room and computer when I’m not around. She says she has to do this because I don’t open up to her. […]

I have seen a counselor twice because of my self harm issues but I stopped going to the counselor because I didn’t ever like going. Looking back on the times that I was there and the discussions we had I realized that I wasn’t entirely honest with her. When I would talk to her I could tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was dumb. I am one of those people who have parents still together, I have a home, I have dinner on my table, and I’m pretty. You may think with all of that, how can a person […]

i don’t know where to start. i’m 22 and to keep it perfectly honest i’m a beautiful, intelligent, upper class, white female. nobody thinks i have any problems… and if i do, they’re miniscule. it’s a lie. i’m living a lie. every cry for help that i make isn’t taken seriously because people can’t seem to fathom that someone who is so blessed could be so absolutely and incessantly depressed. i have been through every anti-depressant/bipolar medication, talked to countless psychiatrists/therapists/psychologists for the last 7 years… you name it, i’ve probably done it in hopes of pulling myself out of this never-ending rabbit hole that […]

Depression slowly crept up on me 2.5 years ago.  I had a feeling of being unwanted.  I felt like my friends were ignoring me, and it seemed like no one cared about me.  The depression kept getting worse and worse everyday.  I am the type of person that keeps my emotions to myself, so I’d try to put on a happy face whenever I was around people.  Recently, I noticed that I’m not depressed 100% of the time.  I looked up why that might be, and my symptoms matched the bipolar disorder symptoms.  I finally decided I needed help, so I scheduled an appointment with […]

I met this girl. She is absolutely amazing. But that’s not the point. The point is I realised I was selfish. I realised that suicide wasn’t an option. What I mean is this girl I adored I found out she had cancer. All I could think about was how unfair life was. I cried a couple days just thinking about her. I felt helpless. After finding out how se had no control over her life it made me mad. All I can think about was how could people take life like its nothing. When my friends death was already determined. How could they throw there […]

25 years ago I committed a federal felony. I stole money from the bank I worked at. The details don’t really matter-I confessed to it because my conscience got to me & returned the money. Even though I did my time & paid my fines, I ruined my life. It in reality is a life sentence. Not even the POTUS has the authority to expunge the record after all these years. I managed to survive through the years but this economy has been impossible. I had been doing well: had my own home, a rental property & a […]

Though I forgive you
The scars run deep
Cutting, piercing, and tattooing me
Trying my best to hide the scars you left
I know that someday I will get past this
But as for now it’s still fresh
The memories are here to remind me
What you have done
How you’ve hurt me
But as for this I have to say
Forgiveness is just the first step
So here I am
On my way
My furture brighter everyday
No thanks to you I have to say
But I forgive you for all your mistakes
I pray for you as you journey along
And hope someday […]

I wanna save people. But I don’t always know how or what to say. I honestly cry when I was writing this. I wanna save you so bad. But I am scared that I can’t. I don’t think I can save everyone. That terrifies me. Why can’t I save everyone. Why does anyone have to die. I realised that I can’t save everyone. It breaks my heart.
Xoxo
Sunshine

I have this friend, he’s awesome. And sometimes I actually let him in, emotionally. I don’t do that to anybody. I hide my feelings fairly well unless instigated. He’s getting fed up with my lack of concern towards myself. I wish I could just be like, “I’m really just venting, let me freak out. It’s fine, I’m not going to cut up.”. But alas here I am, getting all guilted up because I can’t change who I am. I’m completely worthless. Don’t try to tell me I’m not, I know the truth. I can’t literally remember a moment that didn’t end in guilt or shame. […]

So … I was reading the comments and someone (I think emptyness7) said she’d seen so much suffering and evil in the world … so have I … lots … I’m arguably one of the oldest on this site so yeah … I’ve seen a WHOLE lot of bad shit. but also I’ve seen a lot of really, REALLY good stuff – from a lot of sensitive and caring and selfless people … like a lot of the kids on this site.

You wear you hearts on your sleeve and bloody it with your blades … and it pains me to think you’ll either kill it […]

I can’t talk to my friends about my depression because they all gossip so much, and they don’t care. I am so sick and tired of being lonely. My friends ignore me, and I treat them with so much dignity and respect. I really do, outside this site I exhibit enormous self-control. I only let loose my emotions on this site because I consider it a safe space to do so, and in some warped way I feel more comfortable posting to a community of people who always feel this close-to-suicide sensation like me. Anyways, It’s late, so forgive my poor grammar. Venting on this […]

She was sitting in her bed looking up at the ceiling blasting her music;

She started crying and she knew exactly why;;

She felt useless and alone;

She was very angry;

All of her love started to turn into hate;;

It was like a switch turning off;;

She didn't care anymore and why should she;;

you just broke her heart without thinking twice;;

Don't try to deny it don't try to fight it;;

You say you love her so much but what you keep doing is the opposite;;

Your words mean nothing;;

Its not what you say but what you do;;

And your just proving your story wrong;;

the girl wondered why she was so imperfect […]

My friend sent me a text saying that she was sick of life. I fell into instant panic. I talked to her for an hour and  somehow managed to get her to put down the knife. This has been the scariest moment of my life. People suck. They forced this girl to contemplate suicide at such a young age. I find it miraculous that she is still here. Please. If you have in the past. Don’t be mean to other people. Don’t harass people. Don’ treat others badly if you wouldn’t treat yourself badly.